Have you ever been Bullied?

We were born into a safe world...only knowing the sound of our mother and father maybe even a sibling। We feared nothing, we hated no one, we trust everything and everyone that we recognized. We cried only when our bodies told us that we are in hunger or in pain. We did not know the pain and loneliness of words...YET! We grew in trust and belief in our early years because we had nothing else to compare our lives with YET! Why does this safe world and total feeling of healthy self-worth and self-esteem stop? The we enter our first year in the education system...all of a sudden things become contrary to what we knew up to then. We hear how different life can be in different households. We see how different others dress, eat and act towards others. We begin to grow away from our nest. We move forward and continue into another year, then another, all along gathering memories of life as we experience it in the world of growth. Some memories are good and some are not so good. Some of us are strong enough to stand up to the negativity we experience and move along smoothly. Others are not so strong and fall into a whirlwind of abuse cycles called bully-ism and the abuse that goes along with that. We fear not being accepted and then we fear that if we do not allow the abuse from the bullies that we will never get any attention ever from them. So in turn we allow the abuse. We become our own abusers of sorts. WE become driven to gain an acknowledgment or acceptance of any kind just to feel that we are alive in their eyes. What do these bully's have over us, that we will allow, even welcome the abuse? Abuse that takes form in so many ways, whether it be physical, name calling, hazing, ridiculing and/or sexual harassment. Where do these bullies come from? Where do they learn to hurt and hate just in the name of fun? What about the kids that just follow along because of their fear of not being accepted? Are they bullies too? There are many sides to this horrible world of bullies and victims. The bully had to learn or not learn civilized treatment of others somewhere. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, we were born without hate and fear. Where did the victim loose their sense of self-respect? OR Their strength to stand up and say STOP or NO? These are questions that we must find the answers to if we are ever going to begin to learn how to overcome the issue of bullying. Our children are becoming bullies and victims because of how they feel about themselves inside and/or what they are perceiving is simply fun and games. I have attached a story that comes from my community. This is way to close to home even for me. Please read this and instead of reading the names of the children that you see...replace the names with your children's names. Do not be fooled...this is a reality that your children and mine are living every day even if they do not make you aware of it। **************************************************************** Police: 3 DeLand school teens plotted murder By ROSA RAMIREZ Staff Writer DELAND -- Three DeLand Middle School students, including one who claimed to admire the shooters of the Columbine High School massacre, face felony charges for reportedly plotting to shoot classmates and then themselves, authorities said Friday. The Volusia County Sheriff's Office took all three students -- two boys and a girl -- into custody and is charging them with conspiracy to commit murder. The three seventh-graders have been transported to the Volusia Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Daytona Beach, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said. The teens were identified by authorities as Austin Mohr, Tyler Christian and Charlene Russell, all 13. Davidson said the State Attorney's Office will determine if the teens will be charged as juveniles or adults. Davidson said the plot was uncovered March 5 after a student who was not involved received a text message from Austin Mohr saying he wanted to shoot students at the school during l unch break. The teen who received the instant message told a family member, and the adult notified authorities. Mohr posed as a 19-year-old boy on a MySpace Web page with "satanic references, a picture of a tombstone and other disturbing images," Davidson said in a statement. Mohr had also posted on the social network site that he admired two shooters responsible for the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado. In the text message, Mohr directed his rage against two students, in particular, but went on to say he would kill "every person I see . . . The massacre will happen soon." The teen, who claimed he was being teased and picked on at school, wrote that he wanted to lock the cafeteria door during one of the lunch periods and shoot people there, authorities said. "The good news is that several people did the right thing along the way," Davidson said Friday during a news briefing at the middle school. "It enabled us to begin the investigation very quickly. The (principal) was instrumental in identifying some of the students involved in the conspiracy." Showing up at the news briefing, Charlene Russell's sister, Melissa, 16, said her sister "has never been like this before." Melissa Russell said her sister was in choir, made good grades and was on the honor roll. But after breaking up with her boyfriend, she "just has been talking about doing nothing." Charlene Russell feels bad and would take it back if she could, her sister said. After Austin Mohr started talking about plans for the shooting, Charlene Russell "went along with it because she didn't know what else to do," Melissa Russell said. Days earlier, Melissa Russell said, her sister lay on a set of railroad tracks in Orange City and had to be pulled away minutes before a train rolled by. Attempts to reach relatives of the other teens were not successful Friday evening. After the threats came to light, all three students received mental-health evaluations, Davidson said, including one who was taken into a facility under the state's Baker Act. "The investigators determined the students did not appear to have weapons or means to carry out the threats," he said. The students were automatically removed from the school when the plot was uncovered, Davidson said. Volusia County Schools spokeswoman Nancy Wait said DeLand Middle School Principal Matt Krajewski sent a message to parents after news of the events was released Friday, stressing that students' safety on campus was not compromised at any time. "We learned a lot from Columbine, and one of the lessons was to listen and take action, " Wait said. Wait said the students meet weekly for 20 minutes during homeroom to talk about bullying on campus. "This school has a very strong anti-bullying campaign," Wait said. rosa.ramirez@news-jrnl.com DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com

• 6/19/2008 - Gloucester Teens Had Pact To Get Pregnant......

GLOUCESTER (WBZ) ― There's a stunning twist to the sudden rise in teen pregnancies at Gloucester High School. 17 students there are expecting and, according to a published report, most of them became that way on purpose.

Time Magazine is reporting that nearly half of the girls confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. None of the girls is older than 16.
Principal Joseph Sullivan said that wasn't all that was shocking.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," he told Time.
Last month, two top officials at the high school's health center resigned in a fight over contraceptives distribution.
Medical Director Dr. Brian Orr and chief nurse practitioner Kim Daly support confidentially giving contraceptives to students. They were outraged about resistance from Addison Gilbert Hospital, which administers the state public health grant that funds the school clinic.
Normally, the school has about four pregnancies per school year.
According to Time, school officials started looking into the spike in pregnancies after an unusual number of girls came to the school clinic for pregnancy tests. Some came by several times.
"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan told the magazine.
The pregnant girls and their parents turned down requests to be interviewed.
A recent graduate who had a baby during her freshman year told Time she knows why the girls wanted to get pregnant.

"They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Amanda Ireland, 18, said. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."

(© MMVIII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

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Hmmmm....

Licenses are mandatory to hunt for animals and fish...but anyone can bring an innocent child to this earth without any question.

For heaven sakes...you cannot even adopt a pet these days without proper identification and license.

The article above just adds to my concerns and my utter shame of what is happening out there to our young people. Where does this need to find unconditional love come from?

Is it from their upbringing, their family dynamics....unless we live with these girls, will we ever know exactly what has caused this void inside of them.

It is true that any new cool idea does spread like wild fire and a good majority of those people tend to be followers. "They know not, what they are doing" and have no real reason for their actions. But there is an original person with a definite reason for starting this type of trend. Maybe even many.

What is going to happen to these young children when the mother has no idea how to care and nurture for this child brought into this world to be her companion? That is exactly what it is all about.

An innocent child, brought to this world for all the wrong reasons with a mind that will be twisted and controlled to be the mother's own little puppet or companion.

This is not the answer in finding an unconditional love. If a person does not love themselves inside unconditionally, they will never have the freedom to be loved by or to love anyone else unconditionally .

The only reason these girls are doing this is because they can! I have to say that I deem this as a form of child abuse.

This should be outlawed and a new set of rules should be written up to protect unborn children.
We fight abortion every step of the way, but we turn a blind eye to these under aged girls as they determine that they are for to be a parent for the reasons of needing an unconditional love companion.

I know that some of you reading this will shake your heads and question, "who am I to make such a statement?"

I am a person that cares enough to try to reach out and make a difference in this world before it is totally corrupt. I have also raised 4 children of my own and I can tell you from experience that the mother in most cases is the one responsible for that child. The fathers will not stay at home while the mother goes out dancing or partying with their girlfriends. Nor will they relish in the idea of getting up with a sick child that cries for hours and hours. Most of the families do not want to be responsible for that child either, they have their own lives to live.

Are there not already enough babies left behind or dumped in garbage dumpsters like they are nothing more than a litter of unwanted kittens?

Are there not enough children in orphanages and foster care because the mother could not care for her child that she wanted so badly to fill that void of unconditional love?

How many grandmothers are out there today that have already raised their own children and are now becoming custodial parents of their grandchildren due to the inability of the mother or father responsibility?

I have spent time looking at video's in regards to supporting teen moms...I have talked to many young mothers to be, and I am not so closed minded that I do not commend those young mothers that are responsible and have been taught how to be a committed parent or partner. I am the first person to be amazed and to give compliment on what a young person can do and can carry through.

The saying, "Babies having Babies", definitely does send a message, unfortunately the young girls do not want to hear it and that is another sign of immaturity.

I too was very young when I had my first child and I too was the one that stayed at home night after night and day after day because I was raised in a home that strongly catered to this saying, "You made your bed, you lay in it". My child's father was too young and too concerned with his needs and his socializing to understand his role as a parent at that age.

It is not that I am against young mothers at all, it is the reason for the pregnancies that are becoming a trendy thing, so to speak. Which is what is very scary.

If it is unconditional love that these girls are looking for, then maybe our education system should be looking into some type of self-esteem courses that are mandatory right from grade school and up.

I will continue expressing my concerns in regards to these young mothers that consider having a baby an answer to their inner emptiness.

Today I have shared enough thoughts and I hope that even one young girl will be reached by my message here today.

Please understand that there are many reasons to have a child and there are many to not have a child!

Live your life as it is meant to be lived!

Enjoy your youth as it will not return a second time!

DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com