BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

Another Year and more Mother Nature to contend with amongst every other little thing that will challenge our self-esteem & confidence. Hurricanes really suck. Even if they do not reach you, they still threaten your safety net. Florida survived last years attack of Mother Nature, so we are a little more courageous this year. Not much, but a little. I would love to meet the person that pissed her off (Mother Nature). Not only does she get even, but she does it with a vengeance. That's like PMS & Menopause all rapped up. So, for all you poor souls that are in for that ride(PMS & Menopause), and have no clue what it is all about, think hurricane. It can turn in a second and destroy you. Oh, and it has many names also, like bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, annoying, female, insane, messed up, pms'ing, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged, and that's just a few, except they are not in an alphabetical order like the hurricanes. OK so we are disorganized. BITE ME! You seriously have to be PMS`ing to be able to understand (winks).

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Now onto more serious matters in life..........

I received this question from a gentleman a while back.
"The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself... ........So then why did she dump me?"

My answer to him was this...

Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. I doubt her being full of herself really had anything to do with her wanting to change her relationship. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn't kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."

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BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.

All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediately turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame.

-Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it.

-Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame.

-Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell.

It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weakened like never before.

We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives.

Why is that?

Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone?

Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life?"

So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it.

"When we first fall in love...that love is Blind...hmmmm... "Love is Blind"?

Is it really the love we feel that is blind or is it there is a chemical that erupts in our brains that blinds us to what we do not want to see in that other person?

We know there is definitely something that takes us away and clouds our most rational thinking. That same cloud is what puts us in a prion of suffrage when we are dumped or rejected. It is just as controlling and suffocating as when it is all good.

How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended?

You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars.

We deal with it all, we have to.

We chose to survive.

Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road.

As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink)

Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.

This is life.

My advice to my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life!

One very important thing we must remember when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. The ending of that relationship may be the best thing for you! You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!!

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt."
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JEALOUSY!

THE TRUTH ABOUT JEALOUSY!
Click for audio of this article

This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. What you are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that so many women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In this particular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how serious and captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousy and how one can actually get control of it.

In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this very real and controlling jealous emotion.

It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts that they are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is in identifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a much deeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.

Through research and in speaking with many women every day through the womensselfesteem.com, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downward spiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.

One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons life when an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other words their feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a woman’s self-esteem, which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. These emotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical, psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then that child's security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always grows up feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if the victim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologically abused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen to adults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an early childhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that you have just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.

These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carry throughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen their inner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they can feel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves and that is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.

The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive and one being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you have heard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability to maintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that will ignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can be anything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, a feeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggers that will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggers and how they set off your jealous emotions.

Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due to mistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, and are left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does not stop and take hold of her issues.

Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it is fear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes your relationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would not wish on your worst enemy.

The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter by letter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you into a paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousy’s enemy. It avoids its enemy as quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough to take control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love has turned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watching pornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everything you say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cry out for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will make your head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercise machine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It can make your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever had even one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.

This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationship are to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear will imprison you and force you to suffocate or guard what’s yours, until that person can no longer be a victim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control another’s thoughts and actions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an,” attachment prison” or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of the partnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and your self-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your senses to let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may see someone that you would deem as a total threat.

Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent in your thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and its power. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positive adrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction is through positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedom from that attachment prison.

Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environment that puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you become the attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of this turmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel your pain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are all alone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this need to control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts every turn you make.

Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understand what I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. If anything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countless hours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feeling the same negative control that jealousy has over you.

Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak and that is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controlling you. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative non realities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this non reality is, let’s say, you’re walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial is on. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear. You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non- real negative thoughts = jealousy.

This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turn your thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put your mind into doubt of it’s worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts of being undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly. It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts but will also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allow another person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would be putting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on. So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but also putting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negative thinking, is to live a life alone.

When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mind will only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be taken over by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is now uncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind its bars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.

I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so conformed to that space that you’re allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safe only in that space. All of your knowledge of what’s outside of that captive space has been hidden away into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not even realizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.

What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled or captivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captive situation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negative demands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person that’s holding them captive. You start to depend on the feelings that you’re getting from being captive by your jealous emotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you have allowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together in an unreal negative world of deception.

You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one single minute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and,” what ifs”. At this point your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind, to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your once positive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in your mind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his every move. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then can you feel safe from jealousy? Again the,” attachment prison” takes over. This prison created by jealousy to keep you in its power and control. You’re first breathing thoughts are livelihood and your future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slow death. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost. You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss. Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prison again.

This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however very destructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As I mentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one being positive. You have the ability to choose.

I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify with the truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and a way to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on “The Truth of Jealousy”, you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that you may win the battle of negative thinking.

~D~

The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem

Jealousy and ones feelings of low self-esteem seems to have become a widespread issue for so many women these days. It is not that women are just beginning to suffer from these horrible confining emotions, it is more that women are finally seeking ways to overcome them.

But overcoming them is just the first step, then we must learn to stay the course and be ready for their ugly return, because they will return. It is like any negative trauma that our minds experience. The memory of the trauma never goes away, it is that we learn to put it in a safe place. If we allow this memory to gain strength and return, it will.

Jealousy and low self-esteem will attack ones mind to the point of damaging it in the same way a death of a loved one or a severe shock will. I kid you not there, if you have ever in your life felt any of these negative emotions, you will agree with that.

Jealousy and low self-esteem are very strong negative feelings and they will control your every breathe. Negative feelings that will scar your world and your memory.

They will confine you into a room with all the blinds pulled down and the doors locked.

They will not stop until your fears have you totally convinced that you have to lock your partner away so that none can threaten his thoughts.

They will play mind games with you which I refer to as,"Mind trickery" a few times in this article.

Mind Trickery is when your positive and negative thoughts battle to control your actions and reactions to certain situations.

Here is an example of mind trickery:

You will have days where you will feel that you have finally beat those weaknesses and negative feelings.

You will feel so proud of yourself.

You will feel like you can do this and that you have done it.

You will walk into the world with your self-esteem glowing and your medal of first place in the race against jealousy shining.

You will actually be happy for a change.

You will be so tricked into thinking that you have finally battled and beat the negative side of your mind that you will drop your defenses and literally walk naked.

Then it will happen, mind trickery at its best.

The negative feelings will attack.

They will attack when you least expect it.

This is what mind trickery is about.

Jealousy and low self-esteem have won in the battle of mind trickery.

You underestimated your own thoughts again.

So now what?

Do you allow them to once again traumatize your life and paralyze your happiness?

or do you fight harder than you have ever fought before to keep them where they are secured?

Then even when you may have succeeded in that, you will be faced with your own feelings of disappointment in allowing your mind to fall victim to the destruction of negative feelings. Again you will need strength to over come those self destructing feelings of negativism.

Here is a scenario to show you how the return of those negative feelings work. It is again up to you to not allow them to win their attempts to return.

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You have just walked into a restaurant with your partner feeling on top of the game, its been so long since your negative feelings have taken you down that you have totally left your guard open for attack.

You spot the threat, you immediately feel a shot go directly through your stomach.

You feel yourself losing the ability to maintain a steady breathe.

Your strength is weakening so fast that you feel the return of the old panic.

You immediately want to retaliate as you have done so many times in the past with snide remarks and confrontation, but you recognize that those reactions only made you weaker in the past so you fight them.

You take control of what little strength you have left and you scream out for any positive thought that you can find.

You feel it subside just a bit.

You don`t allow the negative feelings to override your positive thoughts.

You will not be able to completely escape the negative feelings.

You will definitely feel your self-esteem fall.

Those inner thoughts of how you are," not as pretty or good", as that of the threat you have just walked into, are back.

You are there, you have fallen, your body begins to shrink, you want to disappear from your partners eyes before he can pick up on those feelings, feelings that he will surely not be happy to see return.

Your mind is now in a full battle of negative against positive thoughts.

Your head feels like it is going to erupt.

Your body starts to tremble as you struggle to maintain even the smallest positive thought.

You will feel the need for some outside help from your partner, just one word, or one touch to support your importance to him.

You realize that this is yet another negative feeling trying to gain on your positive side.

For him to have to do that, will only make you weaken again the next time.

You must do this yourself.

All alone, you must fight this battle in your mind.

You must continue to fight for your positive thoughts to get stronger.

You begin to make silly conversation if you have to.

You even make a funny face in your mind to make yourself laugh.

You redirect your thoughts until you finally have found an opening for your positive thoughts to get in and take over.

You feel your body begin to calm, your breathing begins to steady and you feel total control over your negative thoughts.

You have won this battle of return.

You have taken control over the mind trickery and returned those negative feelings back to a safe place.

Now you have to deal with your own disappointment of thinking that you would never be back in that weak position again.

A position of feeling your self-esteem trampled on and the feelings of needing to hide from the world in order to protect yourself.

You can do this, it is natural to feel disappointment, even good to a certain degree. In feeling disappointment in yourself, it acknowledges that your awareness is stronger and your ability to battle," The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem", is also stronger.

Negative thoughts are what will bring you down, and you will feel that you will never be able to get up again.

Fear not, your mind will defend itself to protect you and will help you find the positive thoughts that you need to maintain a happy balance of thinking. Just do not fall into the habit of the negative rut. The longer you allow the negative feelings to stay with you, the longer you will be in that rut.

Happiness is something you should fight for, it is the feeling that you want, it will also help strengthen your positive thoughts. So be happy!!!!

~D~

Have you ever been Bullied?

We were born into a safe world...only knowing the sound of our mother and father maybe even a sibling। We feared nothing, we hated no one, we trust everything and everyone that we recognized. We cried only when our bodies told us that we are in hunger or in pain. We did not know the pain and loneliness of words...YET! We grew in trust and belief in our early years because we had nothing else to compare our lives with YET! Why does this safe world and total feeling of healthy self-worth and self-esteem stop? The we enter our first year in the education system...all of a sudden things become contrary to what we knew up to then. We hear how different life can be in different households. We see how different others dress, eat and act towards others. We begin to grow away from our nest. We move forward and continue into another year, then another, all along gathering memories of life as we experience it in the world of growth. Some memories are good and some are not so good. Some of us are strong enough to stand up to the negativity we experience and move along smoothly. Others are not so strong and fall into a whirlwind of abuse cycles called bully-ism and the abuse that goes along with that. We fear not being accepted and then we fear that if we do not allow the abuse from the bullies that we will never get any attention ever from them. So in turn we allow the abuse. We become our own abusers of sorts. WE become driven to gain an acknowledgment or acceptance of any kind just to feel that we are alive in their eyes. What do these bully's have over us, that we will allow, even welcome the abuse? Abuse that takes form in so many ways, whether it be physical, name calling, hazing, ridiculing and/or sexual harassment. Where do these bullies come from? Where do they learn to hurt and hate just in the name of fun? What about the kids that just follow along because of their fear of not being accepted? Are they bullies too? There are many sides to this horrible world of bullies and victims. The bully had to learn or not learn civilized treatment of others somewhere. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, we were born without hate and fear. Where did the victim loose their sense of self-respect? OR Their strength to stand up and say STOP or NO? These are questions that we must find the answers to if we are ever going to begin to learn how to overcome the issue of bullying. Our children are becoming bullies and victims because of how they feel about themselves inside and/or what they are perceiving is simply fun and games. I have attached a story that comes from my community. This is way to close to home even for me. Please read this and instead of reading the names of the children that you see...replace the names with your children's names. Do not be fooled...this is a reality that your children and mine are living every day even if they do not make you aware of it। **************************************************************** Police: 3 DeLand school teens plotted murder By ROSA RAMIREZ Staff Writer DELAND -- Three DeLand Middle School students, including one who claimed to admire the shooters of the Columbine High School massacre, face felony charges for reportedly plotting to shoot classmates and then themselves, authorities said Friday. The Volusia County Sheriff's Office took all three students -- two boys and a girl -- into custody and is charging them with conspiracy to commit murder. The three seventh-graders have been transported to the Volusia Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Daytona Beach, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said. The teens were identified by authorities as Austin Mohr, Tyler Christian and Charlene Russell, all 13. Davidson said the State Attorney's Office will determine if the teens will be charged as juveniles or adults. Davidson said the plot was uncovered March 5 after a student who was not involved received a text message from Austin Mohr saying he wanted to shoot students at the school during l unch break. The teen who received the instant message told a family member, and the adult notified authorities. Mohr posed as a 19-year-old boy on a MySpace Web page with "satanic references, a picture of a tombstone and other disturbing images," Davidson said in a statement. Mohr had also posted on the social network site that he admired two shooters responsible for the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado. In the text message, Mohr directed his rage against two students, in particular, but went on to say he would kill "every person I see . . . The massacre will happen soon." The teen, who claimed he was being teased and picked on at school, wrote that he wanted to lock the cafeteria door during one of the lunch periods and shoot people there, authorities said. "The good news is that several people did the right thing along the way," Davidson said Friday during a news briefing at the middle school. "It enabled us to begin the investigation very quickly. The (principal) was instrumental in identifying some of the students involved in the conspiracy." Showing up at the news briefing, Charlene Russell's sister, Melissa, 16, said her sister "has never been like this before." Melissa Russell said her sister was in choir, made good grades and was on the honor roll. But after breaking up with her boyfriend, she "just has been talking about doing nothing." Charlene Russell feels bad and would take it back if she could, her sister said. After Austin Mohr started talking about plans for the shooting, Charlene Russell "went along with it because she didn't know what else to do," Melissa Russell said. Days earlier, Melissa Russell said, her sister lay on a set of railroad tracks in Orange City and had to be pulled away minutes before a train rolled by. Attempts to reach relatives of the other teens were not successful Friday evening. After the threats came to light, all three students received mental-health evaluations, Davidson said, including one who was taken into a facility under the state's Baker Act. "The investigators determined the students did not appear to have weapons or means to carry out the threats," he said. The students were automatically removed from the school when the plot was uncovered, Davidson said. Volusia County Schools spokeswoman Nancy Wait said DeLand Middle School Principal Matt Krajewski sent a message to parents after news of the events was released Friday, stressing that students' safety on campus was not compromised at any time. "We learned a lot from Columbine, and one of the lessons was to listen and take action, " Wait said. Wait said the students meet weekly for 20 minutes during homeroom to talk about bullying on campus. "This school has a very strong anti-bullying campaign," Wait said. rosa.ramirez@news-jrnl.com DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com