~A Valentine's Day Truism~

Valentine's Day is around the corner and I am going to share with you a little bit about this special day through my thoughts and also on how it was originally intended for the pleasure of the male as per the findings through folklore and historical facts. Here is a bit about what history has depicted as to how Valentine's Day began.

**For eight hundred years prior to the founding of Valentine's Day, the Romans practiced a somewhat pagan frolic in mid-February celebrating the young men's rite of passage to the 'God Lupercus'. This celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of certain teenage girls from a box. The girl would be assigned to each young man as his sexual companion during the remaining year.
Eventually this changed slightly, instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both women and men were allowed to draw from the box, and the game was to resemble the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. For obvious reasons, many of the men were not too happy with the stated changes.
Another change that evolved at that time was the replacement of the 'God Lupercus' with another that the Church deemed as a suitable patron saint of love. They found an appropriate choice in 'Valentine', who, in AD 270 was beheaded by Emperor Claudius. Claudius who then decided that married men made weak soldiers, banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine secretly would marry young men that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. Hence, Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.
During the days of Valentine's imprisonment, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. According to legend, his love for her, and his great faith, miraculously healed her from her blindness just before his death. Before he was put to death, he signed a final message to her, 'From your Valentine.' A phrase that has been used on this day ever since.
Even though the lottery for women had been banned by the church, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was still used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for the men to give the ones they admired a hand-written message of affection, which would contain 'Valentine's' name.

The first Valentine card was stated to have been sent in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his beloved. He too, was being held prisoner in the 'Tower of London' at the time.
The symbol of 'Cupid' which has become a very familiar symbol of Valentine's Day, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman God of love and beauty.**

Now you know a little bit more as far as how Valentine's Day came to be, and here are my thoughts..As the years moved on and the world advanced into more of a marketing and profit oriented lifestyle, Valentine's Day has evolved into more of a means to profit. I will even take it one step further and say that Valentine's Day has become a trigger of stress for some. Why is that you may ask....because, to some people, it means more about getting something to prove to themselves or others that they are deemed as special on that day. I have even known some people that send themselves flowers and tell others that they have that special someone for that exact reason. Why not just say that you have sent yourself flowers... why not just say that you are your special person? More than not, it is because that is what Valentine's Day has become. Make today the first time that you decide to send yourself flowers on Valentine's Day~
Please, do not get me wrong here... I am not belittling the romantic note behind Valentine's Day, what I am doing is trying to allow it to be for everyone and anyone that just wants to send a message whether it be friendly or affectionate to another. When I was a child, I gave out 100's of Valentine's Day cards. I also made sure that I did not miss anyone as I did not want anyone to feel that they were not in some way deserving of a special message. So why as we get older, does Valentine's Day have to be segregated to just one person? You will notice that I have bold-faced a certain few words in the little story above. A hand-written message of affection.... that is one of the most important thoughts that should be behind Valentine's Day. It is not just about sending a true love or an intimate partner a gift... it is about sending someone that you cherish as a friend or even a trusted neighbor a little something.
Valentine's Day is about you and I have never seen it written anywhere that sending flowers or a card cannot be to yourself or to a friend~

~This is my Valentine"s Day message to all of you~

DorothyL

Happiness depends upon ourselves~

~All the Best Wishes and Success in 2012 to everyone~

A small reminder from me to you...

Change and improvements to your life can only happen if you not only want, but allow them to.

The responsibility is all yours...the choice is yours,

so why not choose the direction that will allow you to continue your journey forward~

~From Womensselfesteem.Com to You & Yours~

A cry for help~

Relationships can bring out many insecurities that we have either managed to avoid or that we just have never had to deal with before. One of those insecurites that I seem to address more and more in my thoughts is jealousy. Below you will read a letter sent to me by a women who has seriously reached a desperate point in her relationship, hence why she wrote a complete stranger with her cry for help.

She wrote......

***************

I am writting this as I am driving myself and my partner insane with my Jealousy. My Partner gives me no reason to think he is a womenizer or does he check females out of the internet or anything like that, its just me my self esteem is so low I compare myself to every walking female and if he dares to say "oh that girl has unusual eyes" thats it my head just goes, I start to think well he says my eyes are amazing maybe he likes hers better. We go out for dinner and straight away im checking other girls out in the restaraunt, and making sure he dosent notice them. He has a few female friends on facebook and I have finally come to terms that they are just old school friends and as he tells me constantly it is just fb and dosent mean anything, I still deep down panic and think he's gonna meet up with one of them and end up falling in love with them, My partner adores me he tells me im sexy and that I just do it for him in every way physically and mentally, but still my god dam head is driving me insane, I keep alot of these horrible thought inside but sometimes well most of the time he can tell something is bothering me just by the look on my face. This is really affecting us and I hate being like this as I know its not normal and I try to tell myself to stop but it just overtakes I know im a good looking women, I have a bubbly personality and yeah I can walk into a room and turn heads and my partner has told me how he is proud to walk beside me so why the hell do I do this, its like this little voice is just cant get rid of. I have this fear that he is going to find something better, someone better is going to come along.

He is so supportive as well, he encourages me to get a hobbie so I go to the gym and I am starting photography and he is helping me buy a camera. Since reading your article's I have been saying to myself I am unique strong and beautiful in every-way.
Will I ever just be happy being me?.

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Fat and Beautiful

~Womensselfesteem.com's Relationship Blog~..
.. brings you a rare guest post~

The author of this post goes by the name of Unikorna. She brings Unique content to her readers through her blog, ' Why I Wake up Every Day'. This article in-particular caught my eye as so many of today's issues for women are connected to whether or not size matters. And no...I am not referring to men here...I am referring to how women today feel about their bodies. Many women battle this concern especially when they are in a relationship. As we are all aware of, once we have a partner, we will without a doubt eventually be sharing our most intimate thoughts and unclothed bodies. The issue of a womens body size does eventually begin to be an issue. Women begin to want the lights off more and more and/or even tend to wear clothing to bed. Once again, I point the finger at the media's idealism of the perfect body type. A message to both men and women... choose the partner that you love and that most suits who you are. Body size should only matter when it becomes a health issue. If you are a true loving partner, then your first responsibility to your relationship is to take care of yourself in body and mind.

~The photos in this article are not meant to offend anyone, they are merely meant to show the beauty in the natural curves of a woman ~

~Below are thoughts by Unikorna~

Ever since I was a little girl I was fascinated by old movies and their lovely breathtaking classic beauties with their curvy hips and tiny waists strangled in tight corsets. In my idea women are supposed to look feminine, whatever that might imply. That is why I was so shockingly impressed of how beautiful a plus size woman can be, if she makes an effort and shakes away all the inhibitions.

I know from painful personal experience that 3 rows of bellies can hardly be hidden under a nice sexy dress, but there are certain outfits that can flatter any kind of figure. However I should mention that I cannot agree with a woman being resignedly content with her size, and only because it is horribly unhealthy.

Eating everything you want, whenever you want can have tremendous effects on your well being(that I know from personal experience) . Sitting on your couch watching tv all day can't be healthy either.Eat whatever you want, but also move your ass a little, do some exercise...

Nevertheless nothing can excuse modern world's obsession with being skinny, far too skinny and thus ostracizing all the women above size 10. Most of these women, in my opinion, are far more appealing than the starving models we see on the catwalks.

And my boyfriend agrees with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is not an issue that will disappear unless men and women realize and understand the true meaning of reality and ones natural gift in being the UNIQUE person they were meant to be~

~Many thanks to Unikorna for sharing her thoughts with my readers~

Dorothyl

PORNOGRAPHY...should I or shouldn't I?

Ahhh yes... the game of porn..the topic that has raised more that just ones sexual desires. Not only has it been known to be fuel for many addictive personalities, it has been known to play devils advocate between many partners throughout the years. Pornography has been around since the early 1900's and will be around for a long time as will any other of mans prosperous inventions. Pornography is not about romance, nor is it just about 2 adult people having sex...it is raw, it warps ones realities,  it involves multiple numbers of people, including children and even animals. It will captivate and imprison many viewers that have the slightest addictive characteristic. There are no limits to what people will do to make money and pornography is a clear sign of that. It most definitely shows the level of weakness that a human-being can be brought down to. How can anyone say that pornography is a good thing?

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Lost Feelings....now what?

Have you ever found yourself lost in a relationship of confusion, as if you were speaking a completely foreign language to your partner, vice-verse?

Have you ever found, that you could not seem to find the right way back?

Back to when you understood and were understood, in every thing that you would say or do.

Back to where it was easy and natural to be in the relationship like waters that trickling down stream.

Have you ever found while making love with your partner that something just is not quite right, as in the click is not clicking for some unknown reason? His smell has changed, his touches have less impact on your intimate-self, you just cannot stay within the moment anymore...something is just not right~

All of these feelings of being lost or off in a relationship do and will happen at one time or another. It is what I call the warnings of 'negative complacency', resulting in the 'wallflower syndrome'.

Some would say that these feelings of being lost are the first steps to the end of the relationship and they may very well be. However, if they are detected early enough and dealt with between both partners, the end will not so easily be invited.
It will take the efforts of both partners to find reason for the lost feelings. One partner cannot do this alone.

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Is he perfect?

~He isn't perfect...oh darn~ 

Each gender shares the same misconceptions when seeking out a partner....he/she must be perfect~

Funny how we as human beings secretly and even subconsciously seek that perfect partner. What trips us up in this desire is that the partner we are seeking is not actually a perfect species in themselves, but that they are a perfect species for us~ 

Speaking for women...I feel that we have our own innate desires and needs when searching for our partners. However, if we can keep in mind a few very valuable thoughts...we will not fail in finding him.

First and foremost,  realize that ..he is not perfect.... neither are you, nor will the two of you ever be perfect.

However if...he can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, admit to being human and apologizes freely, then hang onto him and give him all of you that you can. 

He may not quote poetry, bring you flowers each day, he may not think about you every second, but he will give you one of the most delicate parts of himself, all knowing that you could easily break it...that being his heart~

Your goals will be in not hurting him, analyzing him, changing him, or expecting more of him than he can give. They will be in,  giving him a smile when he makes you happy, yelling at him when he makes you mad and letting him know that you miss him when he is not there. Also.. love him deep when he is in need, hug him with all of your strength and listen when he needs to speak. Most of all remember this...no man is perfect, but there is a man that is perfect for you. 

Simply put....one cannot be perfect alone~

~D~

~Happy Mothers Day~



Moms....

Mom's are caring

Mom's are direction

Mom's are our mentors

Mom's laugh because they love

Mom's know without being told

Mom's hear without even listening

Mom's cry in the quiet of their hearts

Mom's sigh without loosing their smile

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If only you could...

This is pretty much what one could consider as being signs of  true commitment and complete awareness. To have a partner that can understand us for who we are and why we are, is what we all seek in a relationship. Once the initial newness of a relationship wears off, we are the left to deal with the real deal or the real person, this is when the relationship really begins and the reality of what commitment is really starts to sink in.
To have a partner that delivers true unconditional love through consistent actions such as the ones above in the poster is what commitment is all about. Keeping in mind that commitment is not a one way street...it must come from both partners so as to join together in a healthy balance.
Commitment is untimely, it does not fade away or step aside...if anything it gets stronger and more prominent with time. A partner that loses interest in his/her partner will not be able to show commitment through actions, they may acknowledge it through words when questioned or forced...proving that once again actions speak louder and much more genuinely than words.

It is imperative to remember to treat your partner as you wish to be treated. It is also imperative to not expect your partner to be who you want them to be, but to accept them for who they want to be and are.
When expecting to be treated special or with exception...be aware that you in-turn are also offering/giving the same.  As a human being,  we love to mimic..we mimic without even realizing we are doing so.... in that we smile, when smiled at...we frown, when frowned at... we hug, when we get hugged... when we are complimented,  we compliment back..ect. Practising what you preach is yet another way to maintain a healthy balance in a relationship
So many questions why of relationships fail are asked over and over..I believe that one of the main reasons that contribute to a failed relationship is because the balance of commitment is off.

~Keeping a balance between giving what you expect to get... is key in finding that someone~

~D~

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL~