Thursday, January 30, 2014

Valentines Truism


Valentine's Day is around the corner and I am going to share with you a little bit about this special day through my thoughts and also on how it was originally intended for the pleasure of the male as per the findings through folklore and historical facts. Here is a bit about what history has depicted as to how Valentine's Day began.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

~Connection~

One of the most beautiful qualities of a true relationship between couples is...
 to understand and to be understood.



To be understood is by far one of the most important links responsible for joining two hearts and two minds together.
This link can only be reached through a mutual connection, one that is completely separate from the normal everyday passing-bye type of connection.
People connect all of the time, however it is when that connection cannot be broken or distracted that it becomes meaningful and almost impossible to resist. At that point, it begins the emotional oneness that gives birth to the feelings of wanting even longing for another. This type of connection between two people has been known to be life changing in so many respects. 
It is not uncommon to hear of or even know of two people that have left past lives because of the innate drive that connecting with another person can cause. It can even be described as relentless in its ability to control ones mind in order to complete that connection. 
To be understood and to understand another is what love stories are made of. No matter what challenges a couple may endure throughout their day, in the end it is all about understanding each other.





Dorothyl



Thursday, January 24, 2013

~Couples & their differences~



We are all individuals and even the worlds happiest couples, do not share the same character. They simply share an amazing awareness and understanding of each others differences. 
In choosing this way of thinking, they do not allow their differences to become, for lack of a better term, ' a ping-pong ball'  between them. 
As a couple, they can accept that they are individuals and that their differences are part and parcel of that fact.
Accepting each others differences does not mean that you will bow down to each others way of thinking, just that you respect your own differences and in-turn your partners as well.
Just because one does not agree with another, does not make either one right or wrong. It just means that they each have their own way of thinking and interpreting things.
In accepting your partner for who he/she is, will allow you to accept and understand each other as individuals. 

A successful relationship is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. 
It is however, when an imperfect couple learns to accept and enjoy their differences.

~Dorothyl~


Saturday, July 21, 2012

I didn't change... you just never knew me~

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The Meet...
The Attraction...
The Infatuation...
The Lust...
The Courtship...
The Relationship begins...
He seems perfect...
She seems perfect...
Partners both begin with clean slates.


I have written, several times about finding that someone who is perfect for you throughout my past articles,  because it is one of the most important realizations to have when choosing a partner.
It is no secret in that,  when one meets someone new and exciting, one tends to see through blinders. Those blinders are what will undoubtedly blur ones vision, which in turn will totally confuse ones judgement as to who that person really is. This also being interpreted as, 'We only see, what or whom , we want to see, or what I deem as,  'the stage of masks'.
Fact, you want to be on your best behavior in the beginning of any new relationship and yes, the new feeling of attraction is so perfect that you do not want to chance loosing it by being your, 'real selves'. Your subconscious tends to play hide and seek with what you choose to accept in this new person.
At this point, it is vital to realize whether he or she is perfect for you because you want to see them that way or because they are actually perfect for you.
'Patience is a virtue' a proverbial phrase that speaks volumes in just 4 words. These words are the pillars in which the foundation of your new relationship should be built on.
By taking your time in getting to know this new person you have allowed into your life, and by allowing the relationship to evolve and grow naturally, you will not find yourself trapped in the stages of, "I didn't change, you just never knew me".
I have yet to read anywhere that there is any time constraint on committing to a new relationship... by knowing thyself, then and only then will you truly be able understand the importance of knowing that new person in your life.

 ~ Time is not of the essence when getting to know that new someone, patience is~

DorothyL





Thursday, April 26, 2012

Being single in a relationship~

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In a relationship one of the first mistakes people make, is in depending on the other to an unrealistic extreme. People repeatedly wonder where they went wrong once they realize, that they fear the loss of their partner only because of the fear of being alone, and/or when they lost their ability to be independent of another. Unless you were born a twin, or were forced to be very dependent on someone throughout your life, being alone is one of the most natural ways of being. A relationship should not be about surviving on your partners air that they breathe. It should however be about allowing that person to breathe along with you in your space, vice-verse.
We can be single in a relationship, single in the sense of continuing to be you. I am not talking about being selfish when I speak of being single, I am talking about being your own person first.  Being single in a relationship, is also the sense of knowing full well that even if there are days, months, even a lifetime that you will not be able to spend with that certain someone, that you will survive and be happy within yourself. This is not to say that, people do not miss a partner that they have lost, or the happiness that they have shared. Being single in a relationship means being dependent on you because at the end of the day... it is only you in reality.
People tend to depend on their partners to make them happy, and/or to make their day a good day. This is another mistake made over and over again in relationships. It is utterly impossible for one person to make another happy unless that person wants to be happy first. A single minded person chooses to be happy before they expect another to make them happy. A single minded person can sleep in a separate bedroom and not feel in any way, that it will  make or break their relationship. When we are new to a relationship, we genuinely loose ourselves in our partners. This is a time when we must be very aware of how easily we can loose our independence. Our independence gives us a certain strength which is vital to our ability to continue to grow in a healthy and balanced direction, which in turn creates a healthy and happy partner. I have met many people that seem to think they need to constantly be around others, which for many of those, that same need has played havoc on their relationships. In not realizing that it is because they do not think independently or choose to not think independently, they have allowed that fear of being alone to control them. Our thoughts do very much control our destiny.

 A relationship can only be successful when the partners involved are there out of true commitment and choice and not out of a dependency on the other. 

DorothyL

Friday, February 17, 2012

To ME..You are perfect~

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To ME ...you are PERFECT~... words that most people love to hear. These are words that most partners not only wait to hear, but also tend to gauge their confidence level by. In saying that... for all of you partners out there that feel that they are at loss for words...here they are. Telling someone that they are perfect for you, means more to them than a box of candy or flowers.

These are what we deem as words with a thousand meanings. You are not just complimenting your partner, you are in-fact telling your partner in no uncertain terms that he/she is exactly what you want and who you would like to share your life with. In those few words, you are accepting them as they are, right there in front of you. On another note...these are the words that set you apart from any movie star.... because, they are real~

These words will more than not, take a relationship to a new and deeper level for many. I feel that the only other thing that can truly make a person feel good coming from another, is a smile.
As in any words to another person, it is vital to their trust in you, that you do not say them unless you mean them. The, saying that, 'actions speak louder than words', is totally overridden when it comes to these words in my mind.. as long as they are said with, sincerity and truth.

As human beings we are born with an innate need to better ourselves. We work very hard at pleasing someone, at one time or another along our journeys through life. Telling someone that they are perfect for you, is placing them on a unique and special plateau where only the two of you exist. This feeling of belonging is one of the most important and self-nourishing feelings we can experience from another. It really does not take a lot to make your partner feel good.. in saying these words, you cannot go wrong. It is one of the right steps towards a happy and healthy relationship.

After all....Is that not what we all strive for and dream of..?


DorothyL

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Happiness depends upon ourselves~

~All the Best Wishes and Success in 2012 to everyone~



A small reminder from me to you...
Change and improvements to your life can only happen if you not only want, but allow them to.
The responsibility is all yours...the choice is yours,
so why not choose the direction that will allow you to continue your journey forward~

~From Womensselfesteem.Com to You & Yours~

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A cry for help~

Relationships can bring out many insecurities that we have either managed to avoid or that we just have never had to deal with before. One of those insecurites that I seem to address more and more in my thoughts is jealousy. Below you will read a letter sent to me by a women who has seriously reached a desperate point in her relationship, hence why she wrote a complete stranger with her cry for help.

She wrote......

***************

I am writting this as I am driving myself and my partner insane with my Jealousy. My Partner gives me no reason to think he is a womenizer or does he check females out of the internet or anything like that, its just me my self esteem is so low I compare myself to every walking female and if he dares to say "oh that girl has unusual eyes" thats it my head just goes, I start to think well he says my eyes are amazing maybe he likes hers better. We go out for dinner and straight away im checking other girls out in the restaraunt, and making sure he dosent notice them. He has a few female friends on facebook and I have finally come to terms that they are just old school friends and as he tells me constantly it is just fb and dosent mean anything, I still deep down panic and think he's gonna meet up with one of them and end up falling in love with them, My partner adores me he tells me im sexy and that I just do it for him in every way physically and mentally, but still my god dam head is driving me insane, I keep alot of these horrible thought inside but sometimes well most of the time he can tell something is bothering me just by the look on my face. This is really affecting us and I hate being like this as I know its not normal and I try to tell myself to stop but it just overtakes I know im a good looking women, I have a bubbly personality and yeah I can walk into a room and turn heads and my partner has told me how he is proud to walk beside me so why the hell do I do this, its like this little voice is just cant get rid of. I have this fear that he is going to find something better, someone better is going to come along.

He is so supportive as well, he encourages me to get a hobbie so I go to the gym and I am starting photography and he is helping me buy a camera. Since reading your article's I have been saying to myself I am unique strong and beautiful in every-way.
Will I ever just be happy being me?.



Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Fat and Beautiful

~Womensselfesteem.com's Relationship Blog~..
.. brings you a rare guest post~

The author of this post goes by the name of Unikorna. She brings Unique content to her readers through her blog, ' Why I Wake up Every Day'. This article in-particular caught my eye as so many of today's issues for women are connected to whether or not size matters. And no...I am not referring to men here...I am referring to how women today feel about their bodies. Many women battle this concern especially when they are in a relationship. As we are all aware of, once we have a partner, we will without a doubt eventually be sharing our most intimate thoughts and unclothed bodies. The issue of a womens body size does eventually begin to be an issue. Women begin to want the lights off more and more and/or even tend to wear clothing to bed. Once again, I point the finger at the media's idealism of the perfect body type. A message to both men and women... choose the partner that you love and that most suits who you are. Body size should only matter when it becomes a health issue. If you are a true loving partner, then your first responsibility to your relationship is to take care of yourself in body and mind.
~The photos in this article are not meant to offend anyone, they are merely meant to show the beauty in the natural curves of a woman ~
~Below are thoughts by Unikorna~


Monday, September 5, 2011

PORNOGRAPHY...should I or shouldn't I?

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Ahhh yes... the game of porn..the topic that has raised more that just ones sexual desires. Not only has it been known to be fuel for many addictive personalities, it has been known to play devils advocate between many partners throughout the years. Pornography has been around since the early 1900's and will be around for a long time as will any other of mans prosperous inventions. Pornography is not about romance, nor is it just about 2 adult people having sex...it is raw, it warps ones realities,  it involves multiple numbers of people, including children and even animals. It will captivate and imprison many viewers that have the slightest addictive characteristic. There are no limits to what people will do to make money and pornography is a clear sign of that. It most definitely shows the level of weakness that a human-being can be brought down to. How can anyone say that pornography is a good thing?