BODY IMAGE

Q = Question asked

A = Typical answer

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Q: What is your Body Image on a scale of 1-10?

A: 5

Q: How much time do you spend on improving your body image?

A: As much time as I can.

Q: How often do you worry about the battle of the perfect body?

A: Whenever I see another women I feel threatened by.

Q: What is your idea of a perfect body?

A: Someone tall, thin with good proportions. (not too big breasts, firm butt)

Q: How badly do you want to fit in?

A: So badly that I would have cosmetic

Q: How do you picture yourself?

A: Boring, not attractive by society`s standards. Definitely overweight.

Q: How do you feel being in your body?

A: I feel good being me until I see someone out there that I would much rather be.

Q: How do you think others see you?

A: They see me as I see myself.

Q: Do you want to look like Society's picture of the ideal body?

A: Yes, who wouldn't?

Hmmmm, do you feel this way about your body image?

Why are so many women in today's world so confused at how they should feel? Where have we lost our desires and contentedness in just being who we are? Why do we go over the line in our need to be perfect at what we do or how we look? The answers to these questions can be many.

Lets start with pornography, and media's idea of that perfect body image. These are two of the strongest body image addictions off our world and they both focus on the female body.

Pornography is giving the illusion of being desired, of importance and of acceptance; all of the wrong attention a women should desire. It Leaves them feeling used and worthless. When did we as women lose our control in how we see our bodies? When did we begin to hate our bodies to the point of paying huge amounts of dollars to cosmetic surgeons? With all the freedoms of our world today in our society, why do we allow ourselves to be slaves to this myth that only beauty can determine our self-worth? Still so many questions and so few answers.

Women are starving themselves and their children. They are bouncing from diet to diet, practicing gorging and purging. They are becoming even more obsessed with getting rid of what makes them a female by nature, their voluptuous bodies with it's curves and suppleness. Are we dieting ourselves literally to death? The phrase of , "Dieing to fit in" comes to mind. As I mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph, children are being starved. Yes our own negative body image is corrupting our children's ideas of what body image is all about. Our children do not even have a chance to overpower what we ourselves have allowed to control us. They will only know what they are taught. They will be bred into "the world of fashion" and "to be thin is in". Do we want our children to grow up in the miserable prison of low self-worth that we are battling with even now? I think not.

In a recent poll by People Magazine, it is said that 80% of women stated that women on television, and magazines ads make them feel very insecure about their body image. It is also said that approx. 10% of females (all ages) in the USA are suffering from a diagnosed eating disorder ranging from, body isomorphic, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and another very horrible illness know as severe depression. Lets not forget that these illnesses lead to death for many of the victims.

A very sad picture, is what I am seeing. I have mentioned so many times in my articles that our world today has turned into a money sucking machine. Money is so the root of all evil! We are told that if we want to be the perfect body image, we have to look like this or walk like that. Grrrr. Makes me crazy.

When are we, as women, going to wake up and stop allowing someone that has never met us, to dictate to us what we should look like to feel better? When are we going to say no to the world that is working over time to sell, sell, sell? They are selling us, right down the river. We are buying into their game and they are winning. Every where we look our minds are brainwashed with images of the perfect body . How are we ever going to overpower this corruption of our minds? Every time I read a woman's desperate cries regarding how depressed she is because she feels that her husband is comparing her to a perfect body image, all I can feel is that again we are losing the battle. Women continue to fall victim to the lies and misinterpretations of what real beauty is. We must end this world of total bogus idealism's and do our own thinking.

Let us get back to basics. The basics of just being a unique person. The basics of feeling good about who we are no matter what others think. The basics of just striving to be healthy. The basics of knowing that we are all here for a reason, and that alone makes us a very important person. A persons external beauty will never outlast their inner beauty. Our external body image will fall and age. It is what's inside of us that will continue to grow and live life as it is meant to be lived. Life is there for us to enjoy. No one else on earth can be you! You are a very special individual. Your lips are yours and no one else's. Your hips are also yours and no one else has them. You are your very own body image!

You are a beautiful woman and you can feel good about you, if you would just start to understand that all the hype about the perfect body image is just that, Hype, to sell. Hype to take our money and fool us into believing what they want us to believe. It is pure garbage! So every time you see these so called perfect body images, smile and say, "Yes, but I am the real one and there is no one like me, there are thousands like you". Save your worries and your money and say NO to the media and its so called 'perfect body image'. Say YES to holding your head up high and walking with confidence. A confidence that will raise your self-esteem to its highest peaks. A confidence that will reveal a whole new sexual you. Ladies every time we do not feel good about our bodies, we are denying ourselves the freedom of dance, the taste of good food, and the ability to be a free spirit. To live, laugh and love. How can we do any of that when we waste so much of our time on earth worrying about our body image?
So lets change the world that we live in and remember, There is strength in numbers. We just have to walk the walk!

Now go and respect yourself and be proud to be a woman!

~D~

BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

Another Year and more Mother Nature to contend with amongst every other little thing that will challenge our self-esteem & confidence. Hurricanes really suck. Even if they do not reach you, they still threaten your safety net. Florida survived last years attack of Mother Nature, so we are a little more courageous this year. Not much, but a little. I would love to meet the person that pissed her off (Mother Nature). Not only does she get even, but she does it with a vengeance. That's like PMS & Menopause all rapped up. So, for all you poor souls that are in for that ride(PMS & Menopause), and have no clue what it is all about, think hurricane. It can turn in a second and destroy you. Oh, and it has many names also, like bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, annoying, female, insane, messed up, pms'ing, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged, and that's just a few, except they are not in an alphabetical order like the hurricanes. OK so we are disorganized. BITE ME! You seriously have to be PMS`ing to be able to understand (winks).

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Now onto more serious matters in life..........

I received this question from a gentleman a while back.
"The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself... ........So then why did she dump me?"

My answer to him was this...

Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. I doubt her being full of herself really had anything to do with her wanting to change her relationship. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn't kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."

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BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.

All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediately turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame.

-Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it.

-Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame.

-Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell.

It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weakened like never before.

We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives.

Why is that?

Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone?

Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life?"

So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it.

"When we first fall in love...that love is Blind...hmmmm... "Love is Blind"?

Is it really the love we feel that is blind or is it there is a chemical that erupts in our brains that blinds us to what we do not want to see in that other person?

We know there is definitely something that takes us away and clouds our most rational thinking. That same cloud is what puts us in a prion of suffrage when we are dumped or rejected. It is just as controlling and suffocating as when it is all good.

How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended?

You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars.

We deal with it all, we have to.

We chose to survive.

Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road.

As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink)

Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.

This is life.

My advice to my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life!

One very important thing we must remember when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. The ending of that relationship may be the best thing for you! You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!!

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt."
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Yes, it is I once again; here to titillate your brain cells with my very UNIQUE ways of thinking!

So how’s that for an opening line? If you don’t like it, my first thoughts to you are this…”SO WHAT”!

Actually I only said that to introduce an, “attitude phrase”. It is a very good positive reaction in defense of your self-esteem and self-worth. So many of us fall into the traps of pity and “woe is me”, which only ignites the fires of negative thoughts. They will do nothing but add fuel to those negativity fires in your mind.

I hear more and more, every day, from women who dig themselves deeper and deeper into personal pits of loneliness and self-abuse with negative thoughts. For some reason they would rather allow the negative elements of this world to control how to feel about themselves.
WHY IS THAT?
If someone came up to you and told you to stick your finger into your eye, would you?
I doubt it, chances are you would look at them like they are on drugs or are trying to be very funny.
So then why don’t women just treat negative thoughts that very same way? Have you ever really just tried to blow stuff off, or turned the negative around to something that is just a joke and is more self benefiting? Again I doubt it, because if you put as much effort into turning the negative into the positive as you do digging your pit, it would definitely make a very quick turnabout into a much more positive you.

I am going to introduce you to my newest positive reaction self-esteem attitude phrase:

“SO WHAT”! This phrase has an amazing impact on how you deal with negative elements and thoughts. Think about it, if you were to shut thoughts down before they had the tiniest chance to seed into your mind unwanted negativity, wouldn’t you pay millions for it? I sure would, unfortunately most of us do not have millions to spend.
Hmm, SO WHAT!

See how easy that was, I did not spend one second allowing that thought to enter my brain. The best part of this “attitude phrase” is it is ready to use any time you need it. There are no instructions needed and it requires no batteries. I want you to write it down and keep writing it until it becomes a part of your thinking. Paste it everywhere until it is engraved in your mind. Use this phrase in every single negative, threatening thought that comes your way. I also want you to begin to practice thinking just like this and saying: SO WHAT to your self!

SO WHAT!
That’s exactly what you should think every time you feel like you want to sink in that pool of self-pity. The sooner you paddle away from that water fall of negative thoughts, the faster you can reach the waters that go upstream.

SO WHAT!
Is what your first reaction should be to any situation that you find is making you feel uncomfortable. Breathe and breathe deep while saying SO WHAT over and over again.

SO WHAT!
If you are having a bad hair day and nothing wants to fit right that morning. It was perfect yesterday and it will be again tomorrow.

SO WHAT!
If someone doesn’t like how you dress or what body type you are. Outer body image is but a mere second of appreciation. It is who you are inside that makes a lasting relationship.

SO WHAT!
If you enter a room and it is full of women that you feel will threaten your inner security. Head up high, you are as UNIQUE as any one of them.

So WHAT!
So what if your partner doesn’t seem to notice your new outfit or hairdo. You feel good, don’t you?

SO WHAT!
If you have been a victim of child abuse at some point in your life, this is who you are right now, not then.

SO WHAT!
If you don’t get that job on the first try. There is no law that says you should, so “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

SO WHAT!
If you have fallen off of your wagon of self-discipline, whether it be in regards to exercise, over-eating, smoking, drinking, drug abuse or just complaining about stuff. The sooner you get back up and on the wagon, the less distance you have to run to catch up.

SO WHAT!
To all the negative garbage that this world is throwing at us every minute of every day. You have the power and the brain to CHOOSE your direction of negative or positive thinking.

SO WHAT!
If raising your self-esteem is not as easy as reading this article, there is not a single person that does not have to make an effort in bettering their inner self. There is no magic wand that we can wave that will put us in that happy place. But there is your ability to CHOOSE!

The key to a happier you is YOU, and it is YOUR responsibility to get YOU to that point. The very second that you figure this out, you will stop blaming every thing/ person for your low feelings and then you will to be able to take control of how YOU feel. As I have said so many times….........WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????

Remember it... use it & just DO IT.... SO WHAT!

Have a very, ”SO WHAT” self-esteem day!
DorothyL