Being a Human Being......

You will be born a human being with a body, a mind and a soul.
You will either like it or hate it, either way...it is yours for the keeping.
You will experience many emotions from which you will learn lessons imperative to your life's happiness.
You will be enrolled in a human school called, 'life'  in which you will receive a book called, 'your book of life'.
This book holds the chapters that you will write throughout your time as a human being.
You will make mistakes, which will in turn, teach you lessons vital to your success in this life as a human being. 
Your growth will consist of many of trial & errors, which are your lessons in the life as a human.
You will fail, you will succeed, how you deal with either will determine your fate.
Your 'failed' attempts will be as much a part of the process of growth as your successions.
Your life's lessons will challenge you until you have learned them well...excelling further or you will push them aside....leaving yourself to mere ignorance.

Life's lessons never end....as long as you are breathing... you will be learning.

You will be tempted to strive for what you do not have or be who you are not...this very important lesson will result in your level of self-acceptance & self-love.
You will love and you will hate...you will hurt and you will not hurt....the lesson here is whether or not you can forgive....again how you deal with these lessons will define who you are.
How you exist in your life is solely up to you.
You will have all the tools and resources you will need equal to others.

What you do with them is again solely up to you.

The lesson here will be a lesson of choices.

The answers to your life's questions lie within you.
How you attain them is again up to you...

So choose wisely and you will succeed!

~D~

BODY IMAGE

Q = Question asked

A = Typical answer

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Q: What is your Body Image on a scale of 1-10?

A: 5

Q: How much time do you spend on improving your body image?

A: As much time as I can.

Q: How often do you worry about the battle of the perfect body?

A: Whenever I see another women I feel threatened by.

Q: What is your idea of a perfect body?

A: Someone tall, thin with good proportions. (not too big breasts, firm butt)

Q: How badly do you want to fit in?

A: So badly that I would have cosmetic

Q: How do you picture yourself?

A: Boring, not attractive by society`s standards. Definitely overweight.

Q: How do you feel being in your body?

A: I feel good being me until I see someone out there that I would much rather be.

Q: How do you think others see you?

A: They see me as I see myself.

Q: Do you want to look like Society's picture of the ideal body?

A: Yes, who wouldn't?

Hmmmm, do you feel this way about your body image?

Why are so many women in today's world so confused at how they should feel? Where have we lost our desires and contentedness in just being who we are? Why do we go over the line in our need to be perfect at what we do or how we look? The answers to these questions can be many.

Lets start with pornography, and media's idea of that perfect body image. These are two of the strongest body image addictions off our world and they both focus on the female body.

Pornography is giving the illusion of being desired, of importance and of acceptance; all of the wrong attention a women should desire. It Leaves them feeling used and worthless. When did we as women lose our control in how we see our bodies? When did we begin to hate our bodies to the point of paying huge amounts of dollars to cosmetic surgeons? With all the freedoms of our world today in our society, why do we allow ourselves to be slaves to this myth that only beauty can determine our self-worth? Still so many questions and so few answers.

Women are starving themselves and their children. They are bouncing from diet to diet, practicing gorging and purging. They are becoming even more obsessed with getting rid of what makes them a female by nature, their voluptuous bodies with it's curves and suppleness. Are we dieting ourselves literally to death? The phrase of , "Dieing to fit in" comes to mind. As I mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph, children are being starved. Yes our own negative body image is corrupting our children's ideas of what body image is all about. Our children do not even have a chance to overpower what we ourselves have allowed to control us. They will only know what they are taught. They will be bred into "the world of fashion" and "to be thin is in". Do we want our children to grow up in the miserable prison of low self-worth that we are battling with even now? I think not.

In a recent poll by People Magazine, it is said that 80% of women stated that women on television, and magazines ads make them feel very insecure about their body image. It is also said that approx. 10% of females (all ages) in the USA are suffering from a diagnosed eating disorder ranging from, body isomorphic, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and another very horrible illness know as severe depression. Lets not forget that these illnesses lead to death for many of the victims.

A very sad picture, is what I am seeing. I have mentioned so many times in my articles that our world today has turned into a money sucking machine. Money is so the root of all evil! We are told that if we want to be the perfect body image, we have to look like this or walk like that. Grrrr. Makes me crazy.

When are we, as women, going to wake up and stop allowing someone that has never met us, to dictate to us what we should look like to feel better? When are we going to say no to the world that is working over time to sell, sell, sell? They are selling us, right down the river. We are buying into their game and they are winning. Every where we look our minds are brainwashed with images of the perfect body . How are we ever going to overpower this corruption of our minds? Every time I read a woman's desperate cries regarding how depressed she is because she feels that her husband is comparing her to a perfect body image, all I can feel is that again we are losing the battle. Women continue to fall victim to the lies and misinterpretations of what real beauty is. We must end this world of total bogus idealism's and do our own thinking.

Let us get back to basics. The basics of just being a unique person. The basics of feeling good about who we are no matter what others think. The basics of just striving to be healthy. The basics of knowing that we are all here for a reason, and that alone makes us a very important person. A persons external beauty will never outlast their inner beauty. Our external body image will fall and age. It is what's inside of us that will continue to grow and live life as it is meant to be lived. Life is there for us to enjoy. No one else on earth can be you! You are a very special individual. Your lips are yours and no one else's. Your hips are also yours and no one else has them. You are your very own body image!

You are a beautiful woman and you can feel good about you, if you would just start to understand that all the hype about the perfect body image is just that, Hype, to sell. Hype to take our money and fool us into believing what they want us to believe. It is pure garbage! So every time you see these so called perfect body images, smile and say, "Yes, but I am the real one and there is no one like me, there are thousands like you". Save your worries and your money and say NO to the media and its so called 'perfect body image'. Say YES to holding your head up high and walking with confidence. A confidence that will raise your self-esteem to its highest peaks. A confidence that will reveal a whole new sexual you. Ladies every time we do not feel good about our bodies, we are denying ourselves the freedom of dance, the taste of good food, and the ability to be a free spirit. To live, laugh and love. How can we do any of that when we waste so much of our time on earth worrying about our body image?
So lets change the world that we live in and remember, There is strength in numbers. We just have to walk the walk!

Now go and respect yourself and be proud to be a woman!

~D~

BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

Another Year and more Mother Nature to contend with amongst every other little thing that will challenge our self-esteem & confidence. Hurricanes really suck. Even if they do not reach you, they still threaten your safety net. Florida survived last years attack of Mother Nature, so we are a little more courageous this year. Not much, but a little. I would love to meet the person that pissed her off (Mother Nature). Not only does she get even, but she does it with a vengeance. That's like PMS & Menopause all rapped up. So, for all you poor souls that are in for that ride(PMS & Menopause), and have no clue what it is all about, think hurricane. It can turn in a second and destroy you. Oh, and it has many names also, like bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, annoying, female, insane, messed up, pms'ing, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged, and that's just a few, except they are not in an alphabetical order like the hurricanes. OK so we are disorganized. BITE ME! You seriously have to be PMS`ing to be able to understand (winks).

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Now onto more serious matters in life..........

I received this question from a gentleman a while back.
"The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself... ........So then why did she dump me?"

My answer to him was this...

Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. I doubt her being full of herself really had anything to do with her wanting to change her relationship. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn't kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."

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BEING DUMPED JUST PLAIN SUCKS!!!

"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.

All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediately turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame.

-Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it.

-Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame.

-Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell.

It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weakened like never before.

We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives.

Why is that?

Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone?

Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life?"

So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it.

"When we first fall in love...that love is Blind...hmmmm... "Love is Blind"?

Is it really the love we feel that is blind or is it there is a chemical that erupts in our brains that blinds us to what we do not want to see in that other person?

We know there is definitely something that takes us away and clouds our most rational thinking. That same cloud is what puts us in a prion of suffrage when we are dumped or rejected. It is just as controlling and suffocating as when it is all good.

How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended?

You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars.

We deal with it all, we have to.

We chose to survive.

Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road.

As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink)

Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.

This is life.

My advice to my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life!

One very important thing we must remember when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. The ending of that relationship may be the best thing for you! You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!!

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt."
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Give The Gift Of Self-Esteem For Christmas

It is definitely moving in on us like a wonderful winter storm.
Christmas is just around the corner and we all know what that means.
It means that we have to think and re-think about what to get him and her, for Christmas.
It means that our energy levels will be stretched way out. With all the preparations and money spending that we all will be involved with, one thing is certain.
A kind word to boost our self-esteem and Christmas cheer will be more than welcomed by all. I have always been a firm believer in the fact that everyone loves to have a self-esteem boost. Even the most confident appearing person needs a little feel good nudge now and then.
If your piggy bank is low on jingle, or if you just do not know what to get that special someone for Christmas, why not try to just make them feel good about themselves. While shopping for that special gift, choose something that will send a self-esteem thought. A thought to just tell them that you are thinking about them and how much you treasure their friendship, or just their smile. You can send that in a card, either store bought or hand made by yourself. People are so lost these days in the real tradition of Christmas that they feel it is all in the gift and/or the price of the gift. A very sad thing.
I have always been the type of person to spend a few extra minutes and write what was in my heart when I sent cards out. Stores have very nice cards, but they can just seem to lack that personal touch. A hand made card will give them a special feeling and lets them know you took some extra time just for them.
Your gift, what ever it may be, should be a true show of your thoughts, and how special they are you. We all love to know that we are special in some way to others. If you want to send more than a card, then get inventive. Maybe you can support that certain someone in their desires to learn something new or add fun to their day. Throughout the year, if you were inquisitive enough, you may have stumbled onto their desire to start a new hobby or a new interest they wanted to start, but just never had that certain push to do it. You can be that push for them just buy making their gift a book or video with all the instructions they would need to fulfill that interest. There are all sorts of not so expensive craft kits out there also. Take a photograph of yourself being happy, or doing something silly. That is sure to send a very heart warming message and create a very nice smile.
Another way you can share your positive self-esteem is to simply invite a few friends over and bake some traditional ginger bread cookies, or a Christmas cake. Don't forget make some eggnog and share a Christmas baking cheer with each other. It's a very good Christmas feeling, one that is surely going to strengthen every ones self-esteem and Christmas cheer.
Remember to make time to visit your family and remind then how much you love them. It is after all Christmas time, a time of giving and spreading Christmas cheer. What better time to forget all the nonsensical family dynamics and just enjoy this special season as one heart and one appreciation of life.
Here is another way to put a nice self-esteem smile on a face.
Call someone that does not have a car and take them shopping with you. Maybe share a quaint bite to eat with them and tell them this is your Christmas Gift to them. They will surely remember this day. It's the people that expect nothing that really appreciate the smallest of gifts.
When did a good deed, hug or even just a smile and good cheer become so low on our Christmas List?
Are we only made to feel important by the value of a gift that we receive? That is such a sad notion. To show someone appreciation and love, is itself a true gift. It has no cash value. The value that it carries, is one of true positive meaning and the desire to make a person feel accepted and unique. How could this not make a persons self-esteem soar?
Christmas time is about giving and receiving.
When we give, we feel good in ourselves, so in actual fact we are receiving at the same time. We are receiving a positive feel of self-esteem, from the act of giving. To see a smile and to know that we have just made someone happy with our gift no matter how small it is, will definitely make us smile in return. Each of us who receives a gift, will experience those feelings of uniqueness. Our self esteem increases because we know that someone values us as a person. It is a true Christmas feeling, one that can spread positive self-esteem world wide.
Also, don't forget to treat yourself throughout the Christmas holidays!
Tell yourself that you deserve whatever your little heart desires.
Spoil yourself.
Take the opportunity to love yourself a little and thank God for who you are and for giving you His gift of life and be thankful for your family and your friends.
Remember to be thankful for the gift of Christmas! It truly is a day that brings everyone together to share their hugs and smiles! Lets all make our self-esteem a gift to give and receive.

I hope that this Christmas and your self esteem this holiday season, is the best one ever!

Christmas is a celebration of birth, so let us also celebrate the birth of a newer, stronger self-esteem, both for you and that special someone.

Merry Christmas to all, from all of us at http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Before I close this Christmas note...please visit this link to read .......
A Soldiers Christmas Message

~D~

Yes, it is I once again; here to titillate your brain cells with my very UNIQUE ways of thinking!

So how’s that for an opening line? If you don’t like it, my first thoughts to you are this…”SO WHAT”!

Actually I only said that to introduce an, “attitude phrase”. It is a very good positive reaction in defense of your self-esteem and self-worth. So many of us fall into the traps of pity and “woe is me”, which only ignites the fires of negative thoughts. They will do nothing but add fuel to those negativity fires in your mind.

I hear more and more, every day, from women who dig themselves deeper and deeper into personal pits of loneliness and self-abuse with negative thoughts. For some reason they would rather allow the negative elements of this world to control how to feel about themselves.
WHY IS THAT?
If someone came up to you and told you to stick your finger into your eye, would you?
I doubt it, chances are you would look at them like they are on drugs or are trying to be very funny.
So then why don’t women just treat negative thoughts that very same way? Have you ever really just tried to blow stuff off, or turned the negative around to something that is just a joke and is more self benefiting? Again I doubt it, because if you put as much effort into turning the negative into the positive as you do digging your pit, it would definitely make a very quick turnabout into a much more positive you.

I am going to introduce you to my newest positive reaction self-esteem attitude phrase:

“SO WHAT”! This phrase has an amazing impact on how you deal with negative elements and thoughts. Think about it, if you were to shut thoughts down before they had the tiniest chance to seed into your mind unwanted negativity, wouldn’t you pay millions for it? I sure would, unfortunately most of us do not have millions to spend.
Hmm, SO WHAT!

See how easy that was, I did not spend one second allowing that thought to enter my brain. The best part of this “attitude phrase” is it is ready to use any time you need it. There are no instructions needed and it requires no batteries. I want you to write it down and keep writing it until it becomes a part of your thinking. Paste it everywhere until it is engraved in your mind. Use this phrase in every single negative, threatening thought that comes your way. I also want you to begin to practice thinking just like this and saying: SO WHAT to your self!

SO WHAT!
That’s exactly what you should think every time you feel like you want to sink in that pool of self-pity. The sooner you paddle away from that water fall of negative thoughts, the faster you can reach the waters that go upstream.

SO WHAT!
Is what your first reaction should be to any situation that you find is making you feel uncomfortable. Breathe and breathe deep while saying SO WHAT over and over again.

SO WHAT!
If you are having a bad hair day and nothing wants to fit right that morning. It was perfect yesterday and it will be again tomorrow.

SO WHAT!
If someone doesn’t like how you dress or what body type you are. Outer body image is but a mere second of appreciation. It is who you are inside that makes a lasting relationship.

SO WHAT!
If you enter a room and it is full of women that you feel will threaten your inner security. Head up high, you are as UNIQUE as any one of them.

So WHAT!
So what if your partner doesn’t seem to notice your new outfit or hairdo. You feel good, don’t you?

SO WHAT!
If you have been a victim of child abuse at some point in your life, this is who you are right now, not then.

SO WHAT!
If you don’t get that job on the first try. There is no law that says you should, so “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

SO WHAT!
If you have fallen off of your wagon of self-discipline, whether it be in regards to exercise, over-eating, smoking, drinking, drug abuse or just complaining about stuff. The sooner you get back up and on the wagon, the less distance you have to run to catch up.

SO WHAT!
To all the negative garbage that this world is throwing at us every minute of every day. You have the power and the brain to CHOOSE your direction of negative or positive thinking.

SO WHAT!
If raising your self-esteem is not as easy as reading this article, there is not a single person that does not have to make an effort in bettering their inner self. There is no magic wand that we can wave that will put us in that happy place. But there is your ability to CHOOSE!

The key to a happier you is YOU, and it is YOUR responsibility to get YOU to that point. The very second that you figure this out, you will stop blaming every thing/ person for your low feelings and then you will to be able to take control of how YOU feel. As I have said so many times….........WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????

Remember it... use it & just DO IT.... SO WHAT!

Have a very, ”SO WHAT” self-esteem day!
DorothyL

Does your weight determine your Self-esteem?

Confidence and self-esteem. Is it because women are not of the ideal weight or is it truly a mind set? I cannot seem to write enough about self-esteem.

Women that can see themselves from the inside out are the ones that exude a certain amount of confidence that money or plastic surgery can never buy.

Women that only see themselves from the outside in will never reach that true confidence. They will continue to buy into what the market is selling as the latest fountain of youth and beauty!

Another example of true confidence is found in our children. Uninhibited and unaware of their confidence, they go through their day not worrying about how they look in their clothes or if their hair is acceptable. They do not look outside of themselves for any type of false confidence.

If only more women would have the strength to think and realize that their self-esteem is not all about their outer skin. But for some strange reason they choose to allow society to get under their skin and taunt them with the ideals of the perfect type of women.

If I have recognized one thing in amongst women, it is that confidence, self-esteem or self-worth know no body shape or size. A womens body weight does not determine her true self.
Nor are all thin, pretty women cynical and shallow. Unfortunately there are cynical women in every shape and form. I have heard women that were overweight tear other women apart with no mercy. They did this out of either pure envy and or jealousy, no other reason. No matter what our weight, we are all up against the wall of ridicule and criticism at some time in our lives.

My X-husbands family, were of the old foreign country and constantly made me feel less-than acceptable for being thin. They continually made remarks that I was too thin to breast feed my babies. If my child cried, it was instantly due to my weight and how I was starving my child. At that time I was too young to even think of fighting back.

I would also like to add that cruelty and vanity is amongst every size.

We need to focus on our own inner peace and love for ourselves. It is, after all our spirit that never grows old, just our bodies. We must learn to realize and accept this. Also never forget that a pretty picture is just that, and nothing more.

Many women feel that they have to do things to make others accept them. I am sure we have all fallen into that trap more than once in our lives in some regards. How many of you have bowed down to another's idealism to find that you were still not acceptable. It truly goes to show you that you really should only please one person, that being you. We cannot please all of the people all of the time. I was told that once and I heeded that warning for many years.

How will you know how to please your loved ones the right way, if you do not learn how to please yourself first? Your self-esteem is only low because you have allowed yourself to worry about pleasing others. When it does not please them, you feel weakened inside and very inadequate, which in turn scars you deep inside. Then and only then do you begin to learn a very important lesson.

This lesson being to:

Hug yourself

Love yourself

Please yourself

Better yourself

Smile at yourself

Care for yourself

Take pride in yourself

How many times are you going to let someone put you down and tear you apart before you stand up and state your rights; your rights as a human being, your rights as a UNIQUE woman. You are you! Be proud of who you are. Walk with confidence. Show your confidence and never allow anyone to put you down because of how you look.

Remember also on this same note: be careful to not be the person criticizing another for how much a person weighs, too much or too little in your opinion. This is a very negative thought process, one you do not want to fall into. This negative thought process will only strengthen your low self-esteem and make you feel very low in self-worth.

We spend too much time investing our feelings into people that only take them at face value.

We spend too much time worrying about what he or she may think about us.

We spend too much time comparing ourselves.

We spend too much time not putting positive ideas into play.

We spend way too much time worrying about things we cannot change or control.

We must stop wasting so much of our limited time on nonsensical issues.

Sometimes I wish I could speak every language there is known to man. Maybe then I can penetrate every woman's mind with positive thoughts. But would that work? Does anyone actually read my thoughts and hear them? Am I writing all of this just to fill a page? Do you think I am making all of this up for my own benefit?

Well I am not doing this for any other reasons except to share my own experiences and research on how women can rebuild a lost self-esteem, or simply strengthen their weak self-esteem. I know only too well how lonely that negative world can be, not to mention how very hard it is to find that light at the end of the tunnel, never mind actually reach it.

Being human is certainly a challenge of errors, but we are here and we must make us, the best person we can. Your weight does not determine who you are. It does however determine your health, in saying that...if your weight is going to concern you in any way....let it be for reasons of health and do something about it. When we feel healthy, we feel good about everything inside and out! 'If you can't change your weight to meet your ideal height, then perhaps you can change your idea image to meet your weight.' Please yourself and then you will glow with high self-esteem.

There is no other better feeling than feeling good about you!

-Dorothy

Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else"

-Judy Garland

~D~

womensselfesteem.com

Anger & Hurt: a Lonely Place to Be!

Being human can really be challenging, to say the least. We feel emotions with every breath we take, every move we make. Some emotions are so sweet that we never want to lose that feeling. Other emotions cause us so much anger and hurt that we are paralyzed with pain.

Our minds use anger as a memory of a hurt that we have experienced. The memory is usually due to the fact that we neglected to express our hurt at the time for one reason or another. We tend to not show our anger or hurt because we do not want to cause a conflict or hurt another's feelings or ever admit those feelings.

We also hang onto it because once we actually show we are angered, we are showing we are not perfect and that in fact we are human and can feel pain. But if we continue to push away our feelings to protect our perfect selves, we become less real and less connected to people in our lives, without even realizing how far we are pushing them away.

Protecting another person from our hurts or anger is only imprisoning ourselves, so that they will never be able to reach us. If we do this long enough we cannot find happiness anywhere. When we are questioned why we are upset, we can not even find the beginning to the hurt we have hidden. The longer we hide our hurts and anger the more confusing they become. Things get all tangled up and if we dare try to explain, we are totally speaking another language.

Have you ever been hurt by someone and then they make it impossible for you to explain why you are angered? Those people can do a lot of damage, they are controllers. When you can identify that type of person, only then can you fight back and tell them, "please just shut up and listen". If you want to be unhappy then keep hanging onto that hurt. It will definitely drag your self-esteem down to the bottom.

Hurt is a pain of the moment and it is happening right now. Its reason is right there in front of you. You must deal with it or you will only hide it and end up alone in your prison of loneliness. The longer you hold back, the more angry you become with you, for not acting out. That's when guilt moves right on in and takes over, making you want to get even with that person. Your negative thoughts are seeded now and nothing feels good. Is this a good thing? NOT!!!

It is definitely not easy to risk being called oversensitive, told that you are just causing a fight, or they just laugh you off like you are a child. You may even find that this person does not really care about you. Better to find that out asap, don`t you think?

These FEELINGS of hurt and anger have a way of taking over our lives. Is it not better to let it out now rather than to live in an unhappy life of silence? Tell someone how you feel, when you feel it, or you will only lock those FEELINGS up inside you and trust me, you will lose yourself.

You may even hurt the one you love, but honesty is the best way. I believe that with a true love you should be able to tell that person anything and yes even if you feel hurt or angered by them. Love conquers anger and hurt. It battles jealousy and helps lift you to a higher self-esteem!

To be truly happy and not endure the prisons of negative emotions, we need to be heard. We need to be understood. We need to be forgiven. We also need to be loved and cared for. We need to set our selves free!

And my sweet readers, on that note, I will leave you with another tip to strengthen your courage which will help you to keep climbing that mountain to a better you!

Take responsibility for your life. You have the power to make things better.

And most importantly, you have a choice!

DorothyL
www.womensselfesteem.com

Quick Fix es & Low Self-esteem

There are so many reasons for ones self-esteem to be weak and hard to rebuild. We have our parents way of raising us, peer pressure at school, pressures at our work place that expect us to succeed with speed of light, society`s view on the perfect person and body type, our children's expectations of a perfect parent and last but not least our partners wants and desires.

All of these are strong contributors in knocking our self-esteem around until we can barely find a hope to hang onto. Now we are at the bottom of our pit of weakness and we begin the search to survive. The search may be through a therapist, reading tons of articles or books, searching the Internet for a site that will answer all our problems in a heart beat, only to find that we are right back at square one in the first challenge to our strength.

Why is that? Why can we not find that quick fix we all look for? Why do we have to work at it? Why do we have to wait for it? Why is it not as simple as fixing ones computer or car? Why is it when I think about my past and I fill in the blanks with all the people that I have to blame for my low self-esteem, I am still weak and frustrated? Why is it when I have one good day and feel on top of the world, does it come crashing down the next? Why is it that when I read self-esteem articles they sound so convincing at that minute, but then again, I fall back into my rut? Why, when I go into self-esteem sites, do they charge for e-books and when I finally read them, they sound like everything else that I have read, or have thought of myself? Why does low self-esteem not happen to everyone? Why can`t I just wake up and feel good about myself?

Questions! Questions!

I have a real hard truth for you. The answer to almost every question that you have just read is YOU! You are the answer to every thought that runs through your mind. The reason that so many factors can be contributors to ones low self-esteem, is because YOU have learned to allow it. Some where in your life, somehow, you allowed your self-esteem to be put down and it really is as simple as that.

We all know that to be human is to naturally error at some point, even many points in our lives. This will also explain why a select number have fallen into the pit of low self-esteem. Everyone chooses different errors, so for the many of us that have allowed our self-esteem to be weakened we are now faced with how to strengthen it.

Again I go back to YOU, it is up to you. I can write 1000 articles and even build you a bridge with lights and arrows and signs to show you the way, but if YOU do not take that first step, then YOU will never find the answers. In order for you to battle all of the contributors that I have mentioned earlier, you need to strengthen your self-worth. You must know and feel that you are just as good as any other human being on this earth. I do not care what others may say about you or to you. If you know deep inside of you that you are their equal, then nothing they say can or ever will hurt your self-esteem.We have all had to bear the scars that we received through our lives, and we all have to learn to put them in the past. What was, is exactly that; past tense, gone. There is really nothing that we can do to change where we came from or what our challenges have been. What we need to focus on is right here and right now. This being the present YOU!

There are websites out there and many therapist that are selling you promises of quick fixes for cash. There are tons of books and e-books, all telling you how to create a new you. Just by the amount of women coming into my site, I can tell that none of these are working for them. Again the reason is YOU!

I can buy you the most expensive car in the world, but unless you can drive it, it is worthless to you. So learn to drive it, learn to rebuild your self-esteem. Do not wait for someone to offer you a gift. You have already been given that gift at birth. I have spoken of the gift of life and how so many of us abuse that gift. Allowing contributors to stomp on your thoughts of who you are is a total neglect to your gift of life.

Your self-esteem has taken a long time to fall weak. It does not happen over night. A heart attack rarely happens overnight. There are many contributing factors that set it up for the initial attack. Once a person has survived a heart attack, they have to work very hard and it takes a long time to rehab back to health and maybe, if they are lucky enough, they will reach half of their actual strength. Your self-esteem will take time and energy to rebuild. You must commit to yourself that you will work very hard to maintain a good feeling about YOU!

It is not hard, but it does take persistence and self discipline. If you do not care about yourself, then you will fail every time. That is a fact.
If you honestly want to find that good feeling about you again, then you can get back there. I say back there, because we were all happy when we were first born and somewhere along that life line, we lost our feeling of goodness. Being lost is a good thing because it means that it is not totally gone, just misplaced.
So together we can find that YOU that was so secure and safe just being YOU. Once you have reached that commitment then you will start to fall in love with yourself again.

You will look for and appreciate all of the little things that make you who you are, such as:
-the color of your hair and eyes -the shape of your ears, and your nose -the way your smile shows your teeth -the laugh lines that only you have when you smile -the birth mark that no one else has -the way you walk -the sound of your voice -your own very personnel laugh -how you feel when someone hugs you -how you smell -your little personality quirks but most of all - how you feel about you. This positive feeling will give you an internal glow of confidence!
These are things that make you special and set you apart from all the other people in the world. People that are no better than you. Different yes, better? Not a chance, unless of course you ALLOW yourself to think that way.

Just because you cannot control or fix everything around you, it has no bearing on who you are and how you feel about yourself unless you ALLOW it to.

Just because somewhere way back in your past, someone told you that you were not as good as someone else, does not mean you are not. It only means that, if you ALLOW it to mean that.

Just because your boss thinks that you should be farther up that corporate ladder, it does not make you a lesser person unless you ALLOW it to.

Just because there are younger, thinner, more educated, richer, taller, or even double jointed people out there, that does not make you less than them, unless you ALLOW it to.

Just because you might be having a bad day does not mean that you have to make it 2 bad days, unless you ALLOW it to.

Just because you spend hundreds of dollars trying to find quick self-esteem fixes and fail, this does not mean you should give up unless of course you ALLOW yourself too.

Can you see a pattern here yet?
Can you see how YOU are the operative factor here?
Can you see how YOU alone are in control of what and who you ALLOW into your thought control?

Remember who the most important person in your life is...it is YOU!
Never...ever....ever....ever let anyone take that away from you!

~D~

Even Pretty Girls Cry

As I was drying my hair, my brain started to work. (scary!!) I was thinking about a few comments that I had heard from guys here and there regarding, "Why Pretty Girls Cry". Of course I had to question them in order to get them to reveal their thoughts on the subject. I asked them a simple question- "Do you think that women that are pretty dislike other pretty women?" Hmmm, I received a lot of answers immediately, without any thought, seemingly. The answer that was the most popular was.."NO!!" I know so many women that are beautiful and the last thing that they would think about themselves, is exactly that. They cannot see what we see in them at all. They think every other women in the world has more to offer.

My next question was, "do you think that women constantly compare themselves to other woman?" This question took no time at all for them to answer. "Yes and no, they think that we (men) are comparing them to other women. And that's what gets them all weird". Additionally, "They think that we are lusting after them in our minds or wondering what they would look like naked. They compare themselves with other women, yes, but in more of a way to improve themselves for us. My girlfriend compares herself with women that do not even come close to her on a any scale and still finds reason to knock herself down".

Hmmm, I seem to be saying that a few times, but it's because women are so generalized. If one women is one way with one guy, he thinks all women are like that. When women generalize men, they call us male bashers, or feminists. What do we call guys that generalize us from their past experiences?

So whats up with the fact that pretty girls really do not look at themselves as pretty girls? Is it something from their past?. (seems like the bottom line for everything)

I, myself remember a guy asking me that exact question. "Why do all the pretty girls think they are ugly?". I shrugged. I really had no answer. I never put myself on that level, of being pretty that is, so I never really gave it any thought.

In all the research that I have been doing on this subject, I will tell you this, `beauty is in the eyes of the beholder`, nothing more, nothing less. If we look in the mirror and see no beauty, that is in our minds only. Not in our partners minds or a strangers mind. We are constantly supported by our spouses and we continualy mistrust their comments. Why? When are we going to start to see ourselves as a beautiful being? A UNIQUE being. A one and only being.

Ladies when you cross paths with another that you feel is way above you, for whatever reason, shoes, hair, dress, body, or just her smile, think this; she is also looking at you and seeing something in you that she lacks and would love to have.

Also, it's part of us, built into us, and born with it in our brain to compare.

Some will look for weakness or flaws in others just to make themselves feel good. That is a negative comparison. It is not a bad thing to want to be a better person. We just have to be very careful to not take it to an extreme that blinds others to our thoughts and intentions.

Men tend to automatically call us jealous when we reveal our thoughts, if another women is involved. Another mystery in my mind; Jeesh, we are not always that worried, OK. So get off your ego trip guys. Sometimes we are genuinely curious as to why we see and feel the vibes we get from you. Also as you read earlier, just maybe, we care and we want to improve ourselves. Maybe men should try and do that sometime. Then they will actually see where we are coming from.

Another thing I have noticed is that men are very good at making us believe that we are doing what they say. Why is that? Is it to win an argument and feel totally in control of our thoughts or is it that they themselves feel vulnerable at times and less than perfect to us. Men have told me that they do not look at other men and wish they were like them. Well duh! Would that not make them female? Why does everyone try so hard to give excuses to genders?. Why can't we just accept and appreciate each other for our differences? Why do we have to be so damn equal on everything?

Females are soft, sensual, sensitive, emotional, passionate, intelligent creatures. That's us, and we are tired of apologizing for how we were born. We work overtime trying to understand our male counterparts. We are what makes them tick. They are what make us tick. We want nothing more than to be their everything. What is so wrong with that? Men are strong, protective, sexual, and feeling beings.

Men and women together make a very nice song.

These are just my thoughts as you all know, so take them with a grain of salt. Has society totally confused what real people are all about, to the point that some do not even know they are pretty? That is a sad thought. Some may think that I have nothing good to say. Well I actually have a lot of good to say. I wish that life was a perfect world. It is not even close. My thoughts tend to deal with the real world and it is not all that great for some. One can not go up until they have gone all the way down.

We are all pretty in some ways. People think way to much about the outer physical appearance and I wish that I could meet the first person that started that negative seed. When did things get so out of proportion?

There are too many worries and too many unhappy women out there. If I can at least help one woman see how pretty she is, then my course is set. Ladies we are all a gift, one that is truly cherished by our loved ones. Never let that go neglected. Remember, you choose your thoughts. You are the pretty girl that your man wants, desires, and will spend the rest of his life with. It's who we are that makes us the perfect woman. Not just what we look like, because we are not always going to look the same. Everyone grows older and everyone changes their outward appearance. What does stay the same, is who we are inside. Our REAL person is what it's all about. I will end with this thought:

ONE ALWAYS THINKS OTHERS ARE HAPPIER!

DorothyL
womensselfesteem.com

JEALOUSY!

THE TRUTH ABOUT JEALOUSY!
Click for audio of this article

This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. What you are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that so many women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In this particular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how serious and captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousy and how one can actually get control of it.

In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this very real and controlling jealous emotion.

It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts that they are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is in identifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a much deeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.

Through research and in speaking with many women every day through the womensselfesteem.com, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downward spiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.

One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons life when an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other words their feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a woman’s self-esteem, which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. These emotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical, psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then that child's security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always grows up feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if the victim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologically abused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen to adults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an early childhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that you have just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.

These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carry throughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen their inner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they can feel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves and that is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.

The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive and one being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you have heard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability to maintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that will ignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can be anything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, a feeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggers that will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggers and how they set off your jealous emotions.

Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due to mistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, and are left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does not stop and take hold of her issues.

Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it is fear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes your relationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would not wish on your worst enemy.

The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter by letter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you into a paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousy’s enemy. It avoids its enemy as quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough to take control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love has turned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watching pornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everything you say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cry out for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will make your head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercise machine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It can make your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever had even one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.

This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationship are to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear will imprison you and force you to suffocate or guard what’s yours, until that person can no longer be a victim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control another’s thoughts and actions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an,” attachment prison” or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of the partnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and your self-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your senses to let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may see someone that you would deem as a total threat.

Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent in your thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and its power. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positive adrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction is through positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedom from that attachment prison.

Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environment that puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you become the attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of this turmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel your pain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are all alone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this need to control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts every turn you make.

Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understand what I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. If anything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countless hours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feeling the same negative control that jealousy has over you.

Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak and that is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controlling you. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative non realities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this non reality is, let’s say, you’re walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial is on. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear. You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non- real negative thoughts = jealousy.

This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turn your thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put your mind into doubt of it’s worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts of being undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly. It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts but will also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allow another person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would be putting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on. So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but also putting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negative thinking, is to live a life alone.

When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mind will only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be taken over by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is now uncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind its bars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.

I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so conformed to that space that you’re allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safe only in that space. All of your knowledge of what’s outside of that captive space has been hidden away into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not even realizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.

What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled or captivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captive situation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negative demands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person that’s holding them captive. You start to depend on the feelings that you’re getting from being captive by your jealous emotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you have allowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together in an unreal negative world of deception.

You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one single minute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and,” what ifs”. At this point your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind, to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your once positive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in your mind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his every move. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then can you feel safe from jealousy? Again the,” attachment prison” takes over. This prison created by jealousy to keep you in its power and control. You’re first breathing thoughts are livelihood and your future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slow death. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost. You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss. Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prison again.

This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however very destructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As I mentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one being positive. You have the ability to choose.

I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify with the truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and a way to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on “The Truth of Jealousy”, you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that you may win the battle of negative thinking.

~D~

The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem

Jealousy and ones feelings of low self-esteem seems to have become a widespread issue for so many women these days. It is not that women are just beginning to suffer from these horrible confining emotions, it is more that women are finally seeking ways to overcome them.

But overcoming them is just the first step, then we must learn to stay the course and be ready for their ugly return, because they will return. It is like any negative trauma that our minds experience. The memory of the trauma never goes away, it is that we learn to put it in a safe place. If we allow this memory to gain strength and return, it will.

Jealousy and low self-esteem will attack ones mind to the point of damaging it in the same way a death of a loved one or a severe shock will. I kid you not there, if you have ever in your life felt any of these negative emotions, you will agree with that.

Jealousy and low self-esteem are very strong negative feelings and they will control your every breathe. Negative feelings that will scar your world and your memory.

They will confine you into a room with all the blinds pulled down and the doors locked.

They will not stop until your fears have you totally convinced that you have to lock your partner away so that none can threaten his thoughts.

They will play mind games with you which I refer to as,"Mind trickery" a few times in this article.

Mind Trickery is when your positive and negative thoughts battle to control your actions and reactions to certain situations.

Here is an example of mind trickery:

You will have days where you will feel that you have finally beat those weaknesses and negative feelings.

You will feel so proud of yourself.

You will feel like you can do this and that you have done it.

You will walk into the world with your self-esteem glowing and your medal of first place in the race against jealousy shining.

You will actually be happy for a change.

You will be so tricked into thinking that you have finally battled and beat the negative side of your mind that you will drop your defenses and literally walk naked.

Then it will happen, mind trickery at its best.

The negative feelings will attack.

They will attack when you least expect it.

This is what mind trickery is about.

Jealousy and low self-esteem have won in the battle of mind trickery.

You underestimated your own thoughts again.

So now what?

Do you allow them to once again traumatize your life and paralyze your happiness?

or do you fight harder than you have ever fought before to keep them where they are secured?

Then even when you may have succeeded in that, you will be faced with your own feelings of disappointment in allowing your mind to fall victim to the destruction of negative feelings. Again you will need strength to over come those self destructing feelings of negativism.

Here is a scenario to show you how the return of those negative feelings work. It is again up to you to not allow them to win their attempts to return.

---

You have just walked into a restaurant with your partner feeling on top of the game, its been so long since your negative feelings have taken you down that you have totally left your guard open for attack.

You spot the threat, you immediately feel a shot go directly through your stomach.

You feel yourself losing the ability to maintain a steady breathe.

Your strength is weakening so fast that you feel the return of the old panic.

You immediately want to retaliate as you have done so many times in the past with snide remarks and confrontation, but you recognize that those reactions only made you weaker in the past so you fight them.

You take control of what little strength you have left and you scream out for any positive thought that you can find.

You feel it subside just a bit.

You don`t allow the negative feelings to override your positive thoughts.

You will not be able to completely escape the negative feelings.

You will definitely feel your self-esteem fall.

Those inner thoughts of how you are," not as pretty or good", as that of the threat you have just walked into, are back.

You are there, you have fallen, your body begins to shrink, you want to disappear from your partners eyes before he can pick up on those feelings, feelings that he will surely not be happy to see return.

Your mind is now in a full battle of negative against positive thoughts.

Your head feels like it is going to erupt.

Your body starts to tremble as you struggle to maintain even the smallest positive thought.

You will feel the need for some outside help from your partner, just one word, or one touch to support your importance to him.

You realize that this is yet another negative feeling trying to gain on your positive side.

For him to have to do that, will only make you weaken again the next time.

You must do this yourself.

All alone, you must fight this battle in your mind.

You must continue to fight for your positive thoughts to get stronger.

You begin to make silly conversation if you have to.

You even make a funny face in your mind to make yourself laugh.

You redirect your thoughts until you finally have found an opening for your positive thoughts to get in and take over.

You feel your body begin to calm, your breathing begins to steady and you feel total control over your negative thoughts.

You have won this battle of return.

You have taken control over the mind trickery and returned those negative feelings back to a safe place.

Now you have to deal with your own disappointment of thinking that you would never be back in that weak position again.

A position of feeling your self-esteem trampled on and the feelings of needing to hide from the world in order to protect yourself.

You can do this, it is natural to feel disappointment, even good to a certain degree. In feeling disappointment in yourself, it acknowledges that your awareness is stronger and your ability to battle," The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem", is also stronger.

Negative thoughts are what will bring you down, and you will feel that you will never be able to get up again.

Fear not, your mind will defend itself to protect you and will help you find the positive thoughts that you need to maintain a happy balance of thinking. Just do not fall into the habit of the negative rut. The longer you allow the negative feelings to stay with you, the longer you will be in that rut.

Happiness is something you should fight for, it is the feeling that you want, it will also help strengthen your positive thoughts. So be happy!!!!

~D~