We all find ourselves reaching that point of overreacting out of frustration or to an unaddressed issue that has been bothering us for while.
There is really no need for this to happen.
Relationships are tough enough to keep balanced without allowing the small stuff to build up and tumble down all at one time.
We must all practice and learn how to vent at the exact time that the irritation occurs. This will avoid so many of those horrible outbursts which we either go on and on and on about or leaves us feeling like a super jerk.
Now please do not get me wrong here...there are good ways and bad ways to vent or to quietly let someone know that they have stepped on your last nerve.
One excellent way to do this is to find a phrase that works for you.
It can be...'I love you too' with a bit of a cynical edge to it... 'Nice weather eh'... or my all time favorite...'Bite Me'.
Well I have many, many times. And it feels soooo good once said. It is like my own little personal shot at whatever urks me at that moment.
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56 comments:
i am so thankful to you right now, you can't possibly know. the first post i read this morning and it just happens to be yours. which just happens to be what i just had a conversation about with my mother in law. omg! she was just talking about how i tend to stuff things that bother me and pretend that i am over it. throughout my whole life, i have always, always put others feelings above my own. i try to be careful of what i say so as not to hurt or offend anyone. and if i am hurt or offended i stuff it so as not to cause any conflict, when in reality i really want to just say "bite me"!
the reason that this subject came up is that i had said something to michael about us moving. he took it as an ultimatum, i didn't mean it as an ultimatum, he didn't let me know he took it that way. there was no communication there. the stress of this move and the uncertainty in what is going to happen, we haven't talked about.
this isn't making much sense, so i am just going to say THANK YOU! i so needed to read these words this morning. you have impacted my world more than you will ever know.
much love to you my friend!
Oh, D, this is so good. You have given many of us freedom in this post. :) My kids informed me several years ago that when I was really disturbed with them when they were teens, I would smile and with clenced teeth say, "That's nice..." They knew at that moment what I was really saying was BITE ME! I just phrased it differently. Now my daughter sports a teeshirt that says, OMG, I've Become My Mother!
Great posting.I swiped the bite me and used it for a post and I linked back to your blog.
Great post. I usually say something more colorful than "bite me," but that is a good one to use.
I sure enjoyed reading this tonight. I feel like saying lots of things but in the end realize it isn't worth it. Hope you have a wonderful week!
wahhh...I love this post Ms.D....pretty well said...:)
great posting, i think i will back anytime soon. i walking on your blog andihawe
Hi Ms. D. thanks for the tips...I am practicing it right now with facial expression. L.O.L ^_^
Good one ms.D.
i totally agree with you that we do behave like that in a relationship
At times couples are squabbing over money matters and their relationships affects
a lot because of this. i too was one of the victim to this and i was adviced by one of my friend to get rid of this and i did ...
and i must say that it works
Partner Expectations
My wife has actually been using Bite Me for quite some time.Her best friend uses some very colorful words. She heard her with that one and it stuck.I am afraid she uses it mostly on me. Once in awhile on her daughter. Of course she could also be using it in a lot quieter way.She feels what you don't know won't hurt you. What ever works for you.
Thanks for your wonderful post.
My kids are a little too young for "Bite me" and WAY too young for some of the things I feel like saying when they're fighting, complaining or whining. (They're 8,7 and 5.)
So I often say with a smile, "Thank you very little."
They think it's funny and it makes me feel better.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Bring Back Pluto
Bite me works very well for me too. I don't say it often, but you are right...I feel good when I do.
Have a terrific day. :)
Wow! Thank YOU for this post!!!
Bite ME , so it shall be - THANKS again, you've come to my rescue!
Don't ask me how or why this phrase got started in our family because I really don't remember.
But, when we have something bothering us, this includes our children too, we all ask the other this:"is there something you need talk about?"
Now when this question is always posed with a somewhat sarcastic manner. But, it always works and even though all of us have forgotten how it got started we will all stop and have a little chuckle.
We all recognize this as the other saying we are taking this discussion to a level where we really don't want to go.
The other one we all use was started by our youngest daughter. She said it to me one day and it has stuck..."mom it is the way it is."
Last but not least my oldest daughter and I were looking at old photos one day and making jokes about various things...and we got hooked on the phrase..."I'm just saying...."
That's all I have for now!! Greatpost as always D. I hope you have great evening!!
Please cross your fingers that my satellite will let me get my work done before 3am!!:-)))))
yes..my blog is aryo humanika, humanika is mean humanity..so your posting is very touching and usefull for human's life..thx to miss othi 4 the new posting
I used to always keep a smile on on face and hold everything in when people would walk on me or super impose on me. Over the years, I've gotten tuffer, now I don't hesitate to say, Up yours, sideways. It always makes me feel better.
Nice posting, I like it very much. Bite me...Sounds great motivation word
Lol, you really speaks out my mind D.
The phrase that I often used is " You are the BEST! " with an almost singing tone. It relieved me everytime I said that :)
my first time to hear that phrase to react on something. i actually use different phrases and i swear most of them are straight right through the nerve shots. though i came to realize that i should slow down a bit. so yea, maybe that 'bite me' thing will work for me.
hope you're having a great week, Ms. D.
props for this post!
I have a good friend who has a rant in Spanish whenever her husband gets on her nerves. It's pretty handy since he doesn't speak Spanish. He knows that he's gotten on her nerves and needs to back track but he doesn't know the details (or possible profanity) that was in the rant.
I have mastered a sigh that expresses my exasperation without risking saying something that I might regret later.
hemmm.. this "bite me" is new to me Ms. D, I would like to try this one. Often when someone special gets on my nerve already, I usually say "you're so bad", or cry silently under the heavy shower at our bathroom to burst out what I feel if I don't want him/her to know. But I think this "bite me" is good. I will try this. Looking forward, what if it is my hubby and he will surely bite me? hahaha.. just kidding D! thanks for the thought my friend. You're always the best!
Hi Dorothy,
Bite Me! that sounds nice.
I will try it.
Hello Ms. D. These words "bite me" sounds great. Actually I never tried using it but want to try it too.
This is the best and it will be my new words so there... I love it and some how it does feel empowering.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Hi Dorothy,
As usual, a Very Good and useful post. I wish that, before my divorce, I had the understanding of life & relations I have now. Now I understand that one little sentence like "Bite Me" (in Portuguese, of course) could have helped me so much... Instead, I just used to say everything that was on my mind and that didn´t help at all.
A good rest of week :)
heelo There Dorothy :)
yup ..life is so hard if you can't control it... life is aint a game we can't 'pause' or 'restart'...
just deal with it ..hehehe
my phrase?... will be "i'm hungry"
I am guilty, I sometimes explode, specially when something has been eating on me for a while. However, within 5 minutes I will be perfectly cooled down again, and will forget it ever happened. I do not keep grudges. Your post hits the nail right on the head, so true.
Great post as always Dorothy.
Emotions are important in our lifes, and it is important to express them however negative you may feel at times. Choosing a way to revert the energy can help, but if you can't, than understanding the root of them helps, and it enables you to understand more about yourself. We live in a world filled with expectations, filled with needs, and filled with sympathy. The one thing that we keep missing, is ourselfs in it the whole time. No matter what life brings, the one thing that you need to be, is true to yourself, no matter what happens and if you happen to feel something inbetween, then why not feel through it. All these emotions are part of who we are, and what makes us human.
i haven't used it yet, D.. "bite me", sounds cool..thanks for the tips..
have a nice day!
this would really help me ms d. especially i easily get irritated especially at work..
Beautiful words of encouragement! I have said "bite me" many times too, or some time I said "sue me" when I was really angry!
I think I use Bite me a bit to much. More than I really want to admit. I do say it in a loving way sometimes. lol
Oh well, i am not the type of person who is good in holding a grudge or something to another person. If that person offended me one way or another, I have to let her/him know what I feel. That way, I could sleep better at night. No point of thinking and pondering over it while that person does not know that she/he had done somethign to you. Better say it in a nice way and be done with it.
a new vocabulary for me to use when my sons are testing my patience. happy friday, dear.
btw i havea tag for u i hope you will post this. thanks in advance http://www.mymoods.net/2009/09/strengthen-friendship-award.html
"We must all practice and learn how to vent at the exact time that the irritation occurs." I like this line the most. How I wish this will be read by someone I know who bursts out right at the moment she gets irritated...without tact at all.Thanks for this very helpful post, D. Have a great weekend!
hello dorothy!
well, i have those days, too but never said the words "bite me". i don't know why.
i do vent out my feelings of anger and frustrations, too sometimes. but according to my boyfriend, he rarely sees that in me as i rarely get angry.
well well, i usually just sigh when i am in a very bad mood.
well, one day, i might be able to say "bite me!" hehe.
hugs!
"bite me!" I love it. Even more than the one i coined last week..."go eff yourself!"
This is an awesome post, Ms. Dorothy. Thanks for sharing your precious thoughts to us. :)
European or American women more aggresive than Asian women, most Asian women have no enough courageous to say "Bite Me!", they will be so shame to say it.
Btw this is a great article, i could learn much here.
Thanks Dorothy.
nice post :) I am catching up with your posts. Haven't been here for awhile :)
waw..... nice post... i like it
Bite me - these words are new to me. But I like to read your post...
I feel that your phrase Bite Me, is going to come in useful and it may even make me feel like and look less like a super jerk when I get PO.
I'm having troubles leaving a msg in the cbox.. anyway.. blogwalking here...
hello miss D! HAve a good labor day weekend!
Just dropping by here...
Just past the lovely site here wish you a great spirit, keep smiling and everything goes well ...
Sorry dear Dorothy, i cant my comment in your cbox, i dont know why, perhaps you should change it to shoutbox never system down hihihi...
Just been in a situation with a friend that pisses me off. Should have said "Bite me".
hi D! I miss you a lot. Wasn't been around for quite a time. My ove has went back to Germany and to his work. So lonely, but stuff i got to endure. Anyway, I do agree with your points on here, to take a second before we burst out. I do that sometimes, but most of the time i burst out. honey would leave me and let me cool down, but would never approach me either if he knows im wrong. After I processed, i would then say "sorry" and make things right.
Have a good week D! See yah :)
dropping by to wish you a fantastic week dear friend. much love to you...
Very interesting post and thanks for sharing this to us :P..
Oh..Dorothy, thanks for giving us a great idea, I will say BITE me...to those who try my patience. Have a great day Ms. D!!
Very interesting post and thanks for sharing this to us :)
Hi Dorothy,
We're just dropping by to say hey. Looking forward to reading your next post.
Take care,
THE GUYS
Great post, its true what you wrote at the end, I call it letting steam out...but I'm pretty bad about keeping things bottled up inside me, I am trying not to. Thanks for the post...;)
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