Friday, August 14, 2009

~Women...Men...Collision~


In relationships we tend to have collisions more often than we want. This is mostly true in the way we differ in our individual thoughts. We collide in how we perceive each others actions and reactions. We also have the task of accepting and/or dealing deal with our different gender views and beliefs. For that we can thank Mother Nature!

Men and Women can collide in just about anything that is involved in their relationship such as: what they enjoy in the entertainment department, sexual fantasies, favorite restaurants, spending money, child rearing, vehicles, time out with friends,and even how we brush our teeth. In saying all of that, differences are not a bad thing as it does add some color and spontaneity in what could become a sedate relationship.

Can you imagine going on through life with a partner and never, ever bumping heads? (zzzzzzz)
Yup, boring! It would be like two mindless, passionless, dependent, robots, maintaining there actions on the same monotone level day after day after day. No cuddling, no smiling, no laughter. Ugh and the SEX......I mean, can you imagine two robots having sex.

Again I say, "BORING"

We need to spice things up, to know that we are alive and that our partners are also alive. When we have these so called collisions, it awakens our deepest passions which we both need to feel, in order to go into a deeper love for one another.

I know you are thinking that to collide only causes war and indifference. You are mostly correct, but how can we know peace with out war? How can we revive or continue to gain in our passions without a true honest indifference between each other now and then? We cannot. Just think about how much fun making up is...every time. Think about it. Keep in mind....the bottom line as in anything I share with you about men and women, we must have balance.........

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69 comments:

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Walter and I definitely do not have any problems in this area.

We are both very individual in our thoughts and have no problem in expressing them.

In almost 30 years we have had some very fiery arguments over just about anything you can possibly think of.

The most famous and the one the kids talk about and still laugh about was over how to water the yard.

I won't bore you with the details but let's just say that Walter thought his way was the only way.

This escalated to the point of yelling, slamming doors and both of us confirming to each other that we would start divorce proceedings the next day.

That was about 25 years ago, the kids are grown, and we sold the water hose!!

In summary, what actually has happened is that I now water the yard however I please and he doesn't say a word.

Thank s for your lovely comment D this morning. I didn't mean to make you lose your coffee!!

I am almost done for today, Walter is going to grill out, and tomorrow we are going out together on a photo hunt!!

I hope you have a fantastic weekend as well!

Jackie:-)

emie said...

i still have long way to go in the world of marriage, i could not tell what awaits ahead of us but as of now we are doing the best of our ability to nurture the love and care that we promised of. Am still in the stage of learning and accepting it seems like am in the very extra unique journey.

you got a very brilliant mind i adore you il keep reading your entry.

Irfan Melodic said...

I love these words: "how can we know peace with out war?"

I do never see my parents get collided in all the things. In fact, both got married as other Javanese traditionla marriage, in which both never loved each other just before they went to a marriage.

It meant that my grandpa arranged my parents' marriage.

Though their marriage was not based in love, their love emerges just after they got married.

As of now, I do never see they talked loudly, or get angry to each other.

I am fortunate enough to never see my parents get collision :)

Best regards,

Irfan Melodic Nugroho
Melodramatic Mind

Facts on the Recent News

djtammy said...

wah...i tried not to comment but it happens to me most of the time. We just don't met half way...he always contradicts with what I say and oftentimes deny his mistakes...Sigh!

As much as possible I try to avoid it coz it hurts me when we collide...


Ms. D, yes he has unique works...hahaha unique and dirty works :-)

sam_emie said...

thank u so much, your concern is about relationship, marriage especially to women its real amazing to read your good insights specially that lots of women are lost and in deep despair... that would be a big contribution to inform women what to do.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

Great post Ms. D. very interesting.^_^
My husband and I always think of something new to spice up our life ^_^
like something we haven't done yet before. ^_^ Great post Ms. D ^_^

gem said...

Interesting Topic. All couples out there will surely learn from your post.

Chloe Ling said...

It's good to collide once in a while i thk, as you said without the collision, we won't be able to go deeper with each other's feelings or needs.
But it also needs to depend on who ur colliding with....it might just become a tool for breaking up...and i've been through that many times!!!
Oh...how contradicting it is!!

Cacai M. said...

Hemmm.. I read this cool new article friend D as well as the comments before me. And what can I say? Yep, you can never appreciate peace without war. Moreover about marriage, am determined to work my relationship with my husband and I can sense he does too. More power with us? heheh.. GOD is good! HE will not left couples who works their journeys sincerely and faithfully. Hugs to you my friend Dorothy.. and kisses!

Monica said...

hmmm...sometimes, a change of scene and routine can be all you need to spice things up again ;)

Daisy said...

Passing by from EC.. love the drama in your blog! Both in words and in images!

shimumsy said...

disagreements in a relationship makes it more healthy and realistic.

asep canda said...

nice post friend good job thankyou friends

LIZZIE said...

Thanks for the insight Dorothy. I know I posted something regarding this matter just recently and seeing my friend so low at that time did make me wonder on certain things. It didn't help that the man seemed more controlling and the woman had downsized into someone who just follows and keeps everything inside her, completely different from her original self.

But i know, love is strong. The only way to overcome relationship problems is to handle them maturely. Both have to cooperate. The only question is, how to make the other person cooperate if they're unwilling to?

It's tough, I know... Life is not a bed of roses.. But if both is serious is the relationship, then I think at the end of it all, they'll overcome their problems. If they're too egoistical or selfish to fix it, then maybe they're just not meant for each other...

askcherlock said...

I do believe that many women suffer in silence. Obviously this can't be healthy. My mum-in-law would say regarding some couples, "She chose poorly." And she would leave it at that. She was a wise woman. If we choose our partners carefully, then we can have healthy conflict and resolve them reasonably. Unfortunatley, many women miss the red flags of abuse, whether it is physical abuse, substance abuse, etc. Why are we so often blinded?

In a healthy marriage, no subject should be off limits, and making up should be easy to do. Your article points women in the direction of aiming high and that is quite a positive statement. You are so encouraging and beloved for your knowledge, my dear D.

Kimmy said...

I agree. But I hate to argue with the hubby. He usually finds a way to twist the argument back at me. I am pretty passionate about my stance, but I also am a natural at compromising. I think it gives him a rush to win, but me I feel nothing, because he really didn't win.

Interesting topic! I am going to have to ponder this, this Sunday!

Have a great day!

Dorothy L said...

Cher :)....
Many ..many times we choose partners for all the wrong reasons and there is no-one that is going to tell us that and make us believe it.
People fall in love for many different reasons. Some are trying to fill a void, some are looking for an escape, some are desperate to be loved by anyone and some genuinely find love.

We also tend to see what we want to when we meet someone. We bypass all the negatives because we want so much for this to be the right one. We do set up our own disasters in many relationships.

No one likes to stand by and wait for the water to boil. Do you ever notice how you will do 10 things just so you do not have to wait?
Relationships can be like that also...instead of waiting and watching for the courting phase to end...and for the real Mr. Right to appear...we distract ourselves with what we want and expect out of this person. Before we even know him/her we are in boiling water:)

There is a good saying ...'Time will Tell' If we could practice this in relationships..it would save many people a lot of time and heartbreak.

We also have the chemical reaction...the 'cupids arrow' so to speak that just sweeps us off of our feet.

Gosh, we all know the feeling. It is euphoric and so damn intoxicating. That is like letting an intoxicated person make a serious decision.
Yet many have done it. Marriages have been left or cheated on, money has been spent, vows have been taken all under the intoxication of that damn chemical reaction.
So...bottom line...let 'Time Tell all'

Thank you sweet Cher for the question!

Huggz~

BuDakHutaN said...

Agree With Monica...
Don't let your daily routine 'kill' your life... take control of it ...
Do Something new together , share more , change something ...

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Hi D,
just passing through quickly to say hi on a Sunday afternoon.

Walter leaves tomorrow and this time, due to the economy will be out for 2 months.

I am doing a hit and miss today with drops so we can have dinner and be together!!

Hugs,
Jackie:-)

Hi! I'm Grace said...

Being married for just a year, I know that there are a lot of things that I need to know... and this one is very interesting. Thanks for sharing this to us, Dorothy. :)

mbah gendeng said...

i think everything must be do it with love

pitercentre said...

I like this one "we must have balance........."

BIZRIL said...

I always like visit this blog and read some awesome posts.

Actually i never knew this problem coz i not married yet,hehehe... i just have relationship with my girlfriend, so far i have no big big problem just have different opinion but its not a matter.

I agree with Kimmy "But I hate to argue with the hubby... I think it gives him a rush to win, but me I feel nothing, because he really didn't win", yess you're right kimmy.

Understanding, sharing each other and good communication is the keys to keep peace in relationship, likes Lizzie said "Both have to cooperate" and Emie said "..care that we promised of".

btw thanks so much DorothyL, i learn much from this article.

Dhemz said...

you hit the target Ms.D! I love this post a lot....correct it is indeed boring....:)

We've been married for almost 5 years and we've been through ups and downs....we love to spice up our marriage....I think that is one of the best ways to know each others strengths and weaknesses... we may disagree on some little things but in the end we know how to compromise....:)

William Wallace said...

I just wish my girl would agree with me more often, especially when I’m right and she is wrong, which is all the time. If only that could happen more often life would be so much more hassle free…… and if only she would agree to my requests for a 3 sum with her best friend………lol

Troi said...

Having just exited a relationship in which any area of thought wherein I differed from my partner's thoughts I was deemed incorrect and inadequate, I completely agree with this post. Thanks!!

shengy said...

hi dorothy

i love your post so much and I was able to share it with my friend who needs enlightenment about relationship with our partner..thank you so much..

ShedLife said...

thanks ms dorothy..very inspiring

ZoomProfit said...

the difference is a grace, with the difference that is the relationship going, how we fit into a difference in the strength of life.

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Hi D,
I love the new sparkly fairy. I can sparkle images in PSP if you ever have one that you want done just email it to me!!
Happy day and hugs,
Jackie:-)

Bailey Baretto said...

i agree with everything you said... couples may have arguements and misunderstandings, but then after overcoming the problem... both of you tend to grow and have a stronger foundation for the relationship. both of you have just got to take these things in a positive way :)

harry seenthing said...

hello.....
introduce me, i'm harry from ciamis...
is my first time to visiting here...wow ur blog so good, i hope we can make a friends in here...and maybe someday i'll find something to learn in here. thanks

PJ said...

i agree in that having some differences can be a good thing. your relationship should have ups as well as downs. as long as the downs aren't becoming the main focus of the relationship squeezing out the ups. being honest and being able to communicate your feelings to your partner is crucial in the discussion of the collisions though. if you can't talk to each other, then how can you make up.

Tina T said...

It is funny how as much as we might think from time to time "why can't he just see it my way?" that is really the last thing we want. Because we each come at it any issue from our male and female perspectives, it does bring us to a middle ground that brings us closer than if the other felt exactly the same as us.

Clarissa said...

I think couples should collide once in a while--because we're all different people and have different views.It's ok to catch and throw different opinions then argue but the important is the making up.^_^

Russ said...

That's a very good and positive way of seeing differences. I'm not yet married, but I'm sure I'll be able to put all of these to good use some time in the future. Bloghopping.Ü

Maria said...

Not only do I find it boring to be with anyone who is too much like me, but I also find it annoying. I think I get annoyed because they don't always seem to have a mind of their own or be speaking up when they should. I enjoy the differences between myself and any one I interact with especially when it's my mate!

gleenn said...

Oh, this is so true D! I and my boyfriend collide in so many things. For example, he is very particular with time. He always comes on time on our every date, while me, it would be a special day if I come on time. I always get scolding because of this, and yet, he still loves me just the same. After the scolding, he'll just pamper me right away. It is very true to say that collisions spice up ones' relationship. :) I believe though, that differences are not meant to be simply left alone. They have to be worked out.

How are you D!? Been missing you. Take care.

Hugs...

eden said...

I agree D that it is boring. We need to spice up things. Knowing and communicating each others feeling and wants are very important to have a fulfilling relationship.

I've been married for over 11 yrs now . The ups and downs draw us more closer together and strengthen the bond of our relationship.

Melanie said...

Yeah, I can't imagine two robots having sex ! LOL! I think it is normal and part of a relationship for couples to collide from time to time. It is because they are two different individual and adding to that two people with different expectations. But it would be healthy for a relationship as long as it does not go beyond the bounderies.

lina@happy family said...

Great post, Dorothy. As a couple, well, sometimes collision happens in our daily life. I think it's a normal thing cause women and men are very different in the way of thinking. The most important is how we can solve each collision, we should compromise...

burn said...

Man and Woman are really different in different ways. But there are some instances that they have some similarities in terms of interests.

Collision is one factor that makes a relationship stays longer. It makes the relationship more exciting.

momcha said...

hi, a friend forward ur blog to me... thanks.. great post, nice article.. your thoughts are what i needed right now.. this article moves my emotions...

thanks.. keep it up, continue touching lives of women.. :)

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Dorothy said...

Wow this is a lot to think about and being non confrontational is really the toughest part. Therefore I'm giving this post a big star as I think it made me consider my next collision with my husband and how I might neutralize and consider the upside of what I might have learned from each others words.

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Shadows of Me said...

i like the photograph.. like the concept..
Well, that's how love works.. I guess you don't love each other if you live in one roof in mute.. I guess your only purpose of marrying her or him is to have sex with her/him. its lust.

The Struggling Author/Graphic Artist said...

This is so true... Robots... ick... boredom overload

eunice miguel aclan said...

I like this post. It reminds me of my husband's words when we were still on the courtship stage 15 years ago. He said, "Opposite poles attract" as we had a lot of differences. So whenever we collide even at this time, I think that our differences make us drawn closer to each other all the more as we need to respect each other's uniqueness as long as it won't harm us and work out things we can change for a more harmonious relationship. And working out requires good communication as PJ said. We are usually paired together with all our differences so that we can learn from each other, complement and accept each other and grow together in our journey towards a lasting and happy marriage.

Bring Back Pluto said...

Hi Dorothy,
I enjoyed every word of your post! Your words just flow.

Too much conflict: Leads to war.

Too little conflict: Leads to indifference.

Some conflict: Leads to understanding and growing together.

And yes, balance...ahh....the never ending search for balance.

I think we've been thinking about some of the same things.
Now you've got me thinking even more.

Your friend,
Bring Back Pluto
"ONE of THE GUYS"

PS And who can forget make up sex.
Enjoy!

Joemill said...

Men and women collide because of the obvious differences in nature. Yet, they are meant to complement each to progressively live in harmony not to break into separate ways. And with collisions, it happens to remind each other what else needs improvement, to talk about. :)

gab's mom said...

i agree! these collisions spice up our life... it's very important that we know how to balance the effect of the collision though..

my husband and i don't always agree on things... and yes, our life is not boring! :-)

i love this post. :-)

KAT said...

You always have the deepest thought provoking articles and the images you choose to go with them blow me away!!

Congrats on another stellar post!!
An award is waiting for you over at Candles, Crafts and Whatnot. Congrats!

:) Kat

BowValleyBowling said...

Nice post Dorothy!! hmmm but Everything happens according to laws governed by NATURE :) :).We have no choice :)>.. Everything will be decided by natural forces.

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Hi D,
Stopping over to thank you for all of the wonderful comments.

I am finally up today and feeling a little better. I had a sore throat yesterday and was afraid I might be coming down with the flu.

That's all I need right now while I am still dealing with my back.

But, the soreness is gone today, and although not feeling 100% quite yet, I am hoping losing the sore throat is a good sign!!

I hope you have terrific week and I hope you are enjoying a lovely Sunday!

I will check out your link but I am pretty sure I already know who it is.

I just hope I have even that much in my Paypal account. It takes 3 to 5 days for my bank to transfer and I was running really really low the other day!!

Happy day and special hugs,
Jackie:-)

P.S. I love your new fairy!!:-))))

VanillaSeven said...

I think the collision must be based by a very strong commitment and understanding of each other. Without that, all we can see is like those hollywood celebrities. I believe God plays the biggest part in this as the center of the marriage.

newbi said...

just one word, cool post

torasham said...

i don't get what your post said..but the picture is great..

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Shawie said...

I agree, collision is pretty normal in any relationship. We both were raised from different cultural, family backgrounds. Surely, I enjoyed every making up we made, lol! It's funny that sometimes it will come to a boiling point first before it's addressed:(( but as always it's a work in progress. The best thing though is we have a lot of common grounds and most of the time, Jim sees things more clearly and present it to me in a very polite way- not too self-serving nor self-imposing:))
have a wonderful week, Ms. Dorothy!

BLOG KULINER said...

yup... i luv to read this post..
sometimes me n my hubby just fight for nothing..

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Willyo Alsyah P.Pratama said...

my opinion, is not difficult to resolve if there is a sense of mutual understanding

my opinion, is not difficult to resolve if there is a sense of mutual understanding. Adult humans are humans who understand each other with their partner. No selfish!!

Aryo Halim said...

nice, thank for sharing

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what a great post...
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Icy BC said...

I agree with you about normal arguments between partners. It does spice things up, but when a partner pick a fight just to belittled the other, it's not so healthy at all..

jhonson blog said...

interesting topic..i like it :)

Bobby said...

yeah, this is nice post... that's why nowadays we know people said that men from mars n women from venus. men n women are so difference. so collision is a must to maintain a good relationship.

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Michelle said...

Marriage & relationships are certainly not easy and the fact that men & woman have such different communication styles can make it all the more challenging!!

I've recently started blogging about the humorous differences between men & women. It's intended in a lighthearted, comedic fashion and I draw stories from my own personal life with my hubby.

Feel free to stop by and check it out.

The Hubby Diaries
http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com

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