Sunday, May 2, 2010
We all know that even just the thought of dating makes us nervous and question our self-confidence. Simply put...dating is hard. It seems today that it is harder, if not seemingly impossible to find a suitable partner. Especially one that has equal or similar morals and goals. After too many single nights of disappointments and guilt ridden, time invested experiences, our resolve quickly melts down to the thought of possibly living alone for most, if not the rest of our life.
In listening to thoughts of many males and females, one of the most common complaints I keep hearing is that there just are not any good girls/guys out there. They are all singing...'Where have all the good partners gone?'
Another question that also continues to be in the forefront of so many seeking a relationship is...'Is there such a thing as a long term relationship anymore?'
Everyone wants to succeed in finding that right partner...well if you are asking the right questions and listening to the answers, your chances are pretty good. Remember this not only important but a vital key ...it is to not hear what you want to hear, but to hear exactly what this potential partner is telling you.
So many of us later on in a relationship wonder why this partner has changed so drastically...not realizing that it is not necessarily that they have changed but more so.. your understanding of what you heard or interpreted when you first began to question this person has changed. You are now seeing and hearing what was really being said.
I believe that a lot of our confusions lay in the fact that many of us date or enter into a relationship with way too many expectations.. this is exactly where we manage to confuse our ability to hear and see a person for who they are.
Have you ever wondered where the term, 'Love is Blind' came from? Most likely from people that experienced this exact issue in their relationship once the blinders lifted. That oh so sweet 'evanescence' feeling that comes with falling in love can also cloud the real picture for some time, leaving us to wake up one day and wonder who the heck this person laying next to us really is!
Another common flaw that we have when seeking a partner is that we tend to paint the wrong colors on our own self-portrait as we feel we must meet certain expectations in order to be accepted by this potential partner. Also knowing who you are is vital to being able to get those colors right initially. If you really stop and think about these typical courtship flaws... you will be able to see just how misleading we ourselves can be when seeking a partner.
Desperation to be with someone is also another reason many of us choose the wrong partner. We are blinded by this fear of being alone and/or that having someone/anyone is far better than having no one. Again...stop and think before you venture. If you can grab a hold of those desperate thoughts and remind yourself, 'this will happen all in good time', chances are you will succeed. You will also save yourself much time and agony which would have been wasted on choosing and loosing the wrong partner out of desperation.
In answer to, 'Where have all of the good partners gone?'....It is not so much that there are good or bad partners as much as it is ones good and bad choices. Be more aware of who you are and who they are before you take that leap and you will find that right partner and you will have that long term relationship in which you seek.