Sunday, November 1, 2009

Does the attraction of opposites last?


I have often thought about which couple characteristics actually are the most successful in making a happily ever type relationship.
I have heard so many times that opposites attract...what does that mean to you?
To me that statement means that opposites and /or indifference will most definitely attract...but that does not say that those characteristics will last. More than not those same attraction characteristics will be the downfall of a relationship. Possibly if one of the partners is very understanding and patient...the relationship might have a chance.
There are so many different types of couples......
Some couples are almost clones of each other in personality and desires. Others are totally opposite from each other in those same respects.
Some people meet in high school and stay together forever...while others spend many years alone until they finally meet the person they choose to spend the rest of their life with.
Couples that have married because of an unexpected pregnancy or in more redneck terms...the shotgun wedding!
There is the couple which has a master and a servant.
There are also those people who are born in a more traditional country and are involved in arranged marriages.  Do any of them ever truly fall in love?
Then we have those who go through several relationships before finally finding Mr./Mrs right
Last of all... we have the people that never seem to find that right one.

So tell me....which one are you?

~D~

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58 comments:

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Bring Back Pluto said...

What am I? Hmmm......

I guess I always wanted a family in the traditional sense, even though I'm far from a traditional person...whatever the hell that really means.

So it took me a while to find the right person. Someone with similar values and dreams, but someone who complemented me. I'm more of an up/down "artist" type. My wife "cruises" much more than me. We work well together. Mainly because she puts up with me.

In my 20s,I spent a lot of time in "the desert" as we GUYS like to call it when you're alone and thirsty! But to me, it's better being thirsty, than pretending that you're not, and being with the wrong person.

But, these days, traditional can mean almost anything.

RAJA FRESH said...

uniqe relationship...but i think it is normal, especially for human, to complete each other

Melanie said...

I fall on the traditional type...meeting someone, courtship, falling in love, getting married. Though I would say that we are not totally opposite nor soul mates, we get along real well. Simply because we love each other and we respect each others traits. We learn how to be patient and understand each other until the time where we learn to accept our differences.

H. Nizam said...

Dorothy,

I agree with you.
In the old days there are examples of couples who were married through other people's (their parents) arrangement but maintained their marriage until they die. I guess that cannot happen nowadays.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

Great post Ms.D. ^_^ Before I finally found my Mr. Right I have gone through several relationships (when I was still single). Now, I'm so happy to tell the whole world that my husband is really the Right one for me. Weeeh! ^_^ We get along well and we love each other so much.
Thank you Lord.

nice A said...

" More than not those same attraction characteristics will be the downfall of a relationship. Possibly if one of the partners is very understanding and patient...the relationship might have a chance." Sometimes it's true that the same attraction of the opposites lasts but not all and always. As you get to discover each other deeper along your marital journey, the attraction fades. So I agree that without deeper understanding and long patience for each other, the relationship will collapse.
The good thing is, we can keep spicing up the relationship with new thrills otherwise we just end up bored with each other for being so familiar with each other now. The opposites are no longer that attractive - they have now become too familiar!

VanillaSeven said...

Love is always the greatest topic in this world. So many talked about it, but yet few understands it fully. Great thought D.

askcherlock said...

I was lucky to find Mr. Right. We are opposite in very few ways, love the "traditional" marriage and work hard at finding balance in our life together.

I really do believe that there is someone for each of us. Some become jaded after getting burned, but one can learn from that and move on up the road.

It seems so important to encourage each other. I am a cheerleader for my husband, and he is my positive reinforcement when I need it most.

Terrific post, D!

sexylegsandbody said...

My wife and I more or less have the same interests, so I will not say we are opposites, but we have our differences, which is absolutely normal, but we love each other dearly, and are still very much in love.
I think that the lack of love and respect in any relationship will in the end destroy it. In the same breath I think it is possible for any relationhip, no matter what, to survive if there is love and mutual respect.

Great post, good question.
Colin.

jhonson said...

relationship is very complicated, not as easy as we think. depending on each individual in living it. I am included in the tradition of arranged marriages :).

Chloe Ling said...

I guess i'll hv to be in the catergory where " those that will never meet the right one" ...hehehe....sad uhh ??

lina@happy family said...

Before I met him, I've gone through several fail relationship; so as he.
Though we are opposite in some ways, we can be a good team.
Dorothy, I like the picture!

Split Rock Ranch said...

I went through several relationships before finding my soul mate. We have similar interests in some areas and very different interests in others. We've had our ups and downs throughout the years. But we enjoy each other's company, we have a lot of fun together and our love continues to grow through the years. Our 25th wedding anniversary will be May 25, 2010!

Anonymous said...

opposite attracts or not.. it's always come down to the two person involved and how much they love each other!

William Wallace said...

In my personal experience opposites most definitely do attract, it makes for a more exciting as well as stormy relationship I suppose, but that’s the fun of it all. I would never want to be with or go out with someone that was a clone of myself.

I feel sorry for people that are involved in arranged marriages, I know a few people that are going through the pain of being forced to give up relationships so their loving and caring parents!!! Can chose who they marry!

Tina T said...

I think that it's great to be opposites in superficial ways, but not at the core of who you are. For example, my husband is fun loving and I'm cautious, he's a spender and I'm a saver. We bring out the best in each other because of these differences.

When it comes the things that are most important to us such as our values, our religion and our views on family and raising children we are very similar.

I think you can have many surface differences and still make it work, but I think that there is very little room for differences on these core values.

Thess said...

for my blog and my first topic is about attraction and I'd like to link this post to it if ok with you?

Hi! I'm Grace said...

What I am?
I believe in God's predistination. I may meet my husband during my thirties, but I believe it was the right time that I met him. :)

book review said...

I can't believe..

ManOverBoard.com said...

My first wife and I were total opposites, yet we made it over 17 years. The reason for breaking up cannot be fully placed on us both being "opposite". I think maturity played a much larger role.

My second wife and I again are very opposite yet I feel more content and not trying has hard. I guess one way or another we are all really opposite then each other. Maybe opposite is not the right term, perhaps we are all different and thus our differences are what can either attract us or ultimately bring you apart.

So I celebrate my opposite because of her differences. We are first and foremost friends :-)

“A single rose can be my garden, a single friend, my world.” L. Buscaglia

nancy said...

i totally disagree with forced marriage! i been there once and swear not to go back again.

eden said...

I have had been through few relationships before finding my Mr Right and he, on the other hand, had been through 2 marriages before finding me. We share almost the same interest, and being understanding and accepting to each other and loving each other are the main reasons why we are still going and getting stronger.

RE - EntrePOD said...

Ms.D - finding myself was more important to me, than finding mr anybody. when I found me, I found out what I was really searching for.

then he came along. he had to get his patience together, as I finished school several times; and I worked, did the global travel thing; and then decided to sit back to collect myself.

that's what he's learned to do best I think. after 25 years welll, what else does one do. I've waited on him literally, in many senses. he has also been a provider and responsible party when it was his time. it works itself out in the end, if you let it.

nobody looses when you don't keep count. that's what works for us.
Great Post as usual.

Dhemz said...

hubby is my first and only boyfriend....

even though hubby and I came from a different race, custom, and tradition....we did really get along very well...despite of our differences....we have managed to compromise and listen to each other's opinion.

btw Ms.D, I am asking a favor if you can help us Vote for Akesha....your help is very much appreciated!

sakthi said...

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THE GUYS said...

We think almost any pairing can work, if BOTH people are committed to making it work.

You could have two completely opposite people on many levels, but if they are committed to one another they will learn how to work things out.

However, it certainly helps if core values are similar.

Jude said...

I had to go through several unhappy relationships before I found the right one at 50, at least I did find the right one.

jenie said...

i am until now waiting for mr right! and that means "mr right in the eyes of God!"...meaning i am in the process of asking the creator for that perfect man for me if He plans to give me one. and perfect man for me does not specifically says "the perfectly the same as i am" nor "the complete opposite". as long as he is my perfect match ;)

yet again i love your post dorothy!
hope you can come and visit i need your comment on this http://heniperrr.blogspot.com/2009/11/be-ms-lady-blogger.html ;)

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Without Dash said...

I think it is all about having the same values and goals in life. I wrote about finding the one a while back at my blog.

For me personally, I 'decided' after a couple of failed relationships that it had to do with how much you wanted it to work out and putting the efford in it. I also DECIDED that the next one was going to be 'the one' and that like in arranged marriages you just have to work on it and not give up to easily. After a rough start, we've been happily married for 8 years now.

dwell said...

it might i dont have mrs right???? after i read ur post...It seem i fall on the traditional type...meeting someone, courtship, falling in love, getting married. if i can turn back that time.....

Kristin Nicole said...

I guess I would be the more traditional, date, live together, get married then have a family type of person. However, in life you don't know what is planned and what isn't. Life works in mysterious ways, and relationships are just one of those mysterious questions that never get answered. I do believe that opposites to attract and I agree with you that sometimes that is the downfall in the end, but not in all cases.

xo,
kristin nicole
www.soapnights.com

Ann said...

Well lets see, I'm on marrigae number 2 and that one isn't going any better than the first one.
#1 we were pretty much the same, shared same interests, same personality etc.

#2 we are definately opposites. He's uptight, I'm easy going, He's fussy, I'm not and so on and so on.

So could be I'm just not meant to be in a relationship :)

jodi said...

a great post and am happy to be here. god bless you smart blogger

Mariuca said...

Thank you for the wonderful post Dorothy, dropping by via Adgi today. Hugs! :)

BK said...

There will bound to be many that will catch your eyes ... but only a few that catch your heart. Pursue those! In so speaking, I should be those who may spend years to look for that special one to settle down. But it doesn't mean that I will just wait passively. Sometimes we need to take calculate risk as there is no way we will know if someone is right for us.

Lisa said...

I spent many years alone until I found my hubby and for sure our togetherness will last forever.

Osi said...

Hi nice post & pic

Melissa said...

I think like any relationship, it depends on whether they are willing to work at it. The excitement of being opposites will eventually wear off. I have given you an award, at my homeschool blog

ysfirdaus said...

me and my wife are the type of couple that sharing in one level of marriage....
I love this post Mrs. D
thanks

tim said...

hi there, this such an awesome issue Ma'am, you just lit the candle that i have. very good..

Golspektakuler said...

Tks for your post, I like read it.

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D Lo said...

I would say that in some cases attraction of opposites DO last...it keeps relationships crisp and innovative...some couples see that the challenges they go through as a team make them stronger...so for everyones YING...there is a YANG...some couples are clones of each other but they do have special talents, features and personalities that they can call their own...thats what makes them unique...right?!

THE GUYS said...

We just gave you a Best Blogger Award on our site.
Congrats and thanks!!

Hope all is well Dorothy!

neneng said...

good post .. succes for you...

gleenn said...

I think, it's much better to be serious in a relationship later in life. It saves more of heartache.

I also think that if a couple are really meant for each other, theyl will just stick for each other amidst all odds. On the other hand, if people meant for each other need to work to be able to last for each other.

hoe are you D! life was too crazy these last two weeks for me. had my natinal debate tournament, after which a school camp out of town for three days.

hope everything's well with you. hugs ;)

Indi said...

I think to be the kind of teenager that will never get to confess to the one she loves if I keep being so shy xD But woah, I really faint when he's around *_* I really love him! I hope I'll get to confess my love to him one day.

xoxo,
- Indi

Angel said...

I had been in that high school relationship where I thought it would end up in marriage but it didn't because I changed.

I had been in that "clone" relationship and I found it incredibly boring.

I had dated a few, gone through some happy and sad periods thinking maybe love was not meant for me.

And then..

I found him. He found me. We found each other. We were both reaching the dead end, we were both going to give up when we met, which I think is why we really appreciate each other. I guess it's the understanding, appreciation, respect and affection that keeps us strong.

The same thing can happen to those in arranged marriages as well. I've seen many of my relatives (mostly distant) who are happy with their marriages and family because of mutual respect and love that grows everyday after marriage.

Most of the time, good things come when you least expect it. So, we shouldn't expect too much in the beginning and let things take its course.

Date Girl said...

Found your blog through The Guys Perspective, and I love your latest post. I have to say that while I do believe that opposites do attract sometimes, in my case that's actually not what happened. My boyfriend or Match as he's called on my blog, is just that. We have so much in common it's scary. The two of us are like peas in a pod, and he's my very best friend. Maybe that makes us a traditional couple, I'm not sure? Either way, I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bring Back Pluto said...

Hey Dorothy,
Just stopping by to say hi on this Sunday. Hope you're doing well.

Also:

Just wanted to let you know that we've moved to: www.theguysperspective.com/theguysblog
For Blogrolls and such.

We're still in the process of tweaking the look and design of our site, but we're happy to be operating under our own domain!

Take care and have a great day!

farenova said...

two thumbs up!

Vernz said...

Hi Dorothy! I think my husband and I we're partners more than anything, that's how I believe....

Stephanie said...

I love this post. My feeling of this situation is that opposites may attract, but it so hard for them to stay together because alot of time they don't have much in common. There needs to be some basis for the relationship to survive on. Great blog post!!! ;)

turisuna said...

I'm a person who prefer to stay alone till I find the right man for me. I don't choose a man just because feeling lonely. I'm not hurry in building a relationship, I enjoy all the proses step by step.

Smart Club said...

i dont think i met mr.right yet. i was thought my last relationship with my EX will forever. hmm...im with someone else now, @_@

well i hope my bf now is mr.right..but im not so sure

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