Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Female & Male Prayers...



FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep.
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh!
Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, who Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end.
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

***********************************

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a nuts.
Amen.

****

Need I say more!!
I so could not resist...bringing a smile to your day!
Hey if this can make you smile, then my job has been well done!

~D~


69 comments:

Tina T said...

It is so funny that you posted this, because I shared this a while ago on Twitter and thought it was hilarious. I got a reply from a man who was so outraged and complained so profusely about how sexist I was, and I really felt he needed to get a sense of humor.

I feel a little vindicated that you shared this too, because heck, aren't we just fooling ourselves if we act like there aren't big differences between the two sexes?

Gerri Ward said...

Solely Fabulously Hilarious! I luv these prayers, THANKS for posting!!!:))
xoxox,
Gerri

D said...

Really nice poem...oops prayer!

Dorothy L said...

Tina....I agree...if we cannot find humor in our differences...it would be all very unpleasant. To find the positive in any negative is the way to learn acceptance and the ability to overcome :)

I had this poem buried away and just found it...I felt it would be appropriate as a bit of light hearted fun...

~D~

Lin said...

Oh, Dorothy, that is hilarious!! Thanks for the chuckle.

RE - EntrePOD said...

Bravo Madame, Bravo !

PJ said...

omg, i bout spit on my screen! i don't think these people actually exist, do they? maybe for a short period of time but then the honeymoon is over. thanks for the smile dorothy!

have a great night...hugz!

did you get your samples?

askcherlock said...

I am so loving this post, D! You injected humor just where it belongs: in the reality of absurd expectations. I really do think some men would prefer a woman with no mind, good boobs and just-right arse. What a shame. They will end up alone in a dark bar one night, still looking while their teeth and hair fall out!

salwani said...

once..i'd like poem...untill i've no time 2 this "things"..but,it's come softly(like again) while i droped in ur site..thanks..ur each word is meaning 2 me. This posted should b read 4 evryone..keep in posted.

ardith said...

Very nice prayer.... I like it

aryo halim said...

nice posting, u so smart miss othy

A Lil Enchanted said...

So funny... and so true...

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

ManOverBoard.com said...

OH MY GOD!!! First, one of my prayers have been answered!! I didn't have to wait long for a new post by you and to top it off a very funny one at that. YOU got this Pollock a smilin :-)

Hope everyone is having a SUPER DUPER Day, and no I haven't been drinking, LOL Glenn

dhemz said...

hahhahaha...this is insanely hilarious...love it...so funny!
thanks for making me laugh Ms.D....this is a good one....

noticed the female prayer is long...compare to the male....so plain and simple....lol!

thanks for leaving a comment on my post.....:)

Dhadha said...

thanks for posting! i really like it.. can i re-post this in my blog? don't worry, ill credit you.. *wink* thanks so much! :)

Chloe Ling said...

Dorothy!! It does put a smile on my face!! And infact it's so true!!

VanillaSeven said...

You've made my day Dorothy :D
How true!
But I know some guy preferred Gaming Console over Golf courses :P

David Funk said...

LOL!!! Not only a smile, but a laugh out of me for this! The MALE PRAYER was over the top funny! Definitely made my day my friend!

Aulawi Ahmad said...

The desire and material, the eternal requirement for all humankind (women or man)....:)

tim said...

Hahahaha! wow, hilarious prayer, is like my post somehow.. "things i wanna see on heaven and on hell".

William Wallace said...

I would take golf out of the male prayer, what a bore that is. And replace it with. And has a twin sister who likes 3 sums!

lina@happy family said...

It's so funny and also makes me realize how different we are...

Skippyheart said...

hahaha! nice one! Thanks for sharing.

Have a fab weekend Ms. DorothyL! Take care! =)

Jen said...

I love this and so true, especially about the rhyming part. Great poem.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

That's funny Ms. D!
All I can say is "You make my day!" ^_^
Oh by the way, God bless you on your trip. Keep safe.

Spicybugz said...

The truth can be hilarious!

Mizé said...

Hehe, you sure made me smile...and laugh too.
The man´s prayer sounds accurate. I would just add something about TV and football fanaticism, lol.
Good rest of week :)

Femmepower said...

Hehehe,clever and funny. some men may find it sexist but i think what you wrote was true.i admire your guts to write this. =)

hitesh rawat said...

yea u are rite..this is a job well done.....\,,,/

i have visited you a lot but this is the first time i'm commenting.....hope to do so more often.....

you do good....and thanks for the smile....needed it....

\,,,/

Bring Back Pluto said...

Love this!! I actually laughed out loud! Funny!

I can't imagine anyone being offended by this. Humor is all about exaggerating the stereotypes. And stereotypes always have some kernel of truth to them. So you got it right with the Male Prayer.

I would even add a few things.... Another time. :)

Split Rock Ranch said...

Oh yes, you brought a smile to my face! My prayers were answered. However, if my husband prayed the Male Prayer, boy did he get robbed!

Dorothy said...

And so you did..and it was wonderful been on this computer for two hours and I needed a big laugh..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Angel said...

Thanks for the smile:) Those where hilarious and so true!

Dominique P. Smith said...

That sums up women & men! I know as a woman that's my prayer lol. Men are very simple, they don't need to much to be happy lol.

Smooches & Blessings =)

sexylegsandbody said...

I have seen it before, however, I have forgotten about it. It is very sweet, what is life if we cannot laugh, be that at ourselves or at others, it makes no difference.
Great post.
Colin.

gleenn said...

laugh out loud, i can't even dare to simplify it to only lol. there's all the message there D! everything in it says enough about the differences of two sexes. and it's really cute. i bet God has figured it out, that if both pray the same and ask for the same thing, then He would find it difficult to decide who to answer. He might turn out bias ;)

this the first time i read the poem, thus thank you for sharing it. have a great sunday.

Amy Lilley Designs said...

ah ha Dorothy...very funny..and oh so true...:)))

craftymom said...

Thank you. If you love to read real true life love stories then go to my other blog. They are the love stories of my friends who got married to a foreigner husbands.
Love Is The Perfect Gift

nancy said...

very well done job!

thanks for the laughs and happy weekend to you :D

Catherine said...

That was brilliant! Loved it!

Gorgeous MUM said...

Nice one! Very funny!

eden said...

hahaha.. me and my husabnd have a good laugh with this post. It really makes our day. thanks for sharing

Sobia Nosheen Saleh said...

Sounds so very true!

Great!

I loved it!

louie jerome said...

Hilarious! Sometimes I wonder how we get together because most men (not all I might add) are just like this.

stigma no more said...

Love the prayers! Thanks for getting back to me espicaLLy if you are on the road. I don't think she visits my blog but maybe we shouldn't post them, just in case. Good thinking. I told her I did not mean the advice to hurt but I guess it did and I have only myself to blame. I just wanted to help them with their relationship. But I should have not bothered. Live and learn. I will be adding your blog to my blogroll, I just realized I never have put you in there and like I said I love your blog, you give great advice. Thanks again for your time. Have a nice trip :)

Anonymous said...

how true, how true...

jenie said...

truly... nice one! need not say more, they've said it all ;)

hope u visit my other blogs too
life round me N you
earthy me
at-a-blink
heartQUAKES

THE GUYS said...

We had to come back and read this again. Too funny!

Have a great day Dorothy!!

Hemroids Treatment said...

Haha! That's true (especially for male)

Huzaifa said...

fabulous dear dorothy..

Sandee said...

We are so very different aren't we? Yes we are. Bwahahahahahahaha. I'm going to give this to a couple of guys I know.

Have a terrific day. :)

BK said...

This certainly brings a smile to me. :)

THE GUYS said...

Happy Halloween! Just stopping by to say hi.

BBpluto
"ONE of THE GUYS"

aaidjs said...

like this post...and its provocative so you got nice comments!!

Galit said...

I love that poem, it is so true and extremly funny. Thank you for making my day. :)

gerz said...

really great one

My-Alter-Ego said...

nice.. hehehe.. surely made me smile.. :-) thanks for visiting my blog.. hope to see u there again soon..

please check out my othr blogs too..

reyapot

Skeeper said...

this made me laugh dorothy :D

13thWiTCH said...

hi i really like this. can i have the permission to have this printed in our free mag? we will credit you and post your blog site. email me at leahvalle@gmail.com. thank you ^.^

Rider said...

hello don't think all men's will be those road side dogs........ They are not responsible for yours imaginations ok.........

Rider said...

hello don't think all men's will be those road side dogs........ They are not responsible for yours imaginations ok.........

Dorothy L said...

Hello back Rider...

sweety..this was in jest of the male and female gender!
Nothing more and nothing less.

Bottom line is we are each responsible for our own self-acceptance and self-love....and yes, our own imagination :)

~D~

Evan said...

ah ha Dorothy...It is so funny...It does put a smile on my face!!

Aidyyl~tjan! said...

Hahaha~ this is amazingly funny! xDDD
It indeed did bring a smile to my face....or more like a damn loud laughter.
Well done! =P

Anonymous said...

i just love this post

Anonymous said...

Amen! Hehe....

Ken said...

I like this poem. Thanks for posting. Nice prayers :)

sophie said...

God gave us two legs to walk, two hands to hold, two ears to hear and two eyes to see. But why God only gave us a piece of heart? Because God has given us another piece of liver to someone looking for us. That's the name of Love.

3ndzy said...

love it! lol