Tuesday, October 13, 2009

To Love or not To Love..

To Love....
Oh to fall in love.... The feelings one experiences when falling in love..are not only completely consuming and captivating, they are also amazingly surreal, euphoric, passionate, and oh so full of anticipation and newness that there is no escape. You become imprisoned to these overwhelming feelings that trap your mind, heart and body on this merry-go-round of what seems to be a promise of eternal happiness.

When that love is lost for whatever reason, every one of those positive feelings turns swiftly into the total opposite, which can be the most painful experience a human mind can accept and/or absorb.
You will feel like you have literally died inside... become blinded to any direction in life...you will feel as if you have been robbed of a priceless human gem, known as trust...robbed of a love, you deserved...one you earned ...one you depended on for that eternal happiness...one that was yours and no-one elses.

What is there to do once that love is lost?
You can pick up the pieces of your broken world of eternal happiness and you can learn from it and begin to rebuild what once was or you can stay broken and stop breathing...then die.
To never know any of those feelings good or bad...is the other part of my pondering thought...

Not to Love...
Is it better ...
..to never walk for fear of falling?
..to never taste for fear of distaste?
..to never touch for fear of feeling?
..to never smile for fear of frowning?

..to never laugh for fear of crying?
..to never swim for fear of drowning?
..to never trust for fearing of not trusting?
..to never love for fear of losing ?

I wonder...do we even have the choice, to love or not to love?
Do we choose to fall in love or does love choose us?
 
Can one go about life, interacting with other people and never face the risk of falling in love? 
Is it so out of our control, that even the knowledge of the risk involved becomes meaningless within the desires of love?
Is love inevitable?
~~~~~~~~
So tell me...do you think...it is better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all ?


~D~



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61 comments:

askcherlock said...

My Dear D,
I think it is always better to love, even if we lose it somehow. If we gather the strength to ride out the storms in our hearts, we become stronger, better at our choices, and gain a loving insight to ourselves and our ability to survive. That much, we learn, we can trust. Love often chooses us, I believe, but if we can learn from queues in our past, we can fall into "like" and wait for a more real love that suits the size of our hearts.

So good to have you back. Your lack of presence at any table leaves a complete void in the missing chair.

Much love...

shengy said...

love conquers all..without love..life has no meaning...

ShedLife said...

well i guess it's inevitable..we can't be here if there is no love

VanillaSeven said...

To love, like how our parents loves us. We simply can't love them more than they love us.

Aulawi Ahmad said...

i think is better to have loved coz no one can live without love...And better had lost the love than had not been completely in love...

dhemz said...

oh my...very tough question....hehehhee..I think LOVE is very important....in many ways....

Love is important because without it life has no meaning or purpose.

As Frank Tebbets says "A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth, with the fire dead, the laughter stilled and the light extinguished." Love allows us to be more and do more than we could ever accomplish without its power.

Karen said...

Life isn't colorful without love. So even how painful it is to lose someone you love (in either way) I'd rather choose to love over and over again.

Anyway, Ms. D, I posted one of your answer in the comment on one of your post. It's nice thing to ponder.

THE GUYS said...

Dorothy,
Love is terrifying, like riding on a boat in a storm. Capsizing is a real possibility!

When someone loses love, they lose a piece of themselves. This piece gets replaced over time, but it's never actually the same. Hopefully it's replaced by clearer understanding, not just sadness. Time is the great healer...generally.

So yes, love is worth it. What else is there on this planet really? Enjoy life. Love. The risks must be taken, otherwise what's the point?

THE GUYS
ps. there are many different kinds of love. All are accompanied by some sort of risk.

Nedekcir said...

To love of course. And I wanted to thank you for stopping by and for the comment.

Have a great week.

Holly K said...

Hello Dorothy - I think without love, life seems to be missing something. If if we don't have significant others to love, the act of loving (and being loved by) a child, pet, sister, or friend is part of what our bodies/souls were made to do. Its when we get attached to the outcomes and having something last forever that causes the pain in the end. But how hard to love without expectations or attachment, right?

Great discussion. I found your blog through BlogFrog and wanted to come over and say hello. So nice to discover your blog - I will definitely be back.

Holly

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

Love is the greatest gift
God has given us.
Without love everything would fall....

I experienced lots of heartaches in the past but I'm lucky now that I ended up with a happy marriage with my LOVING hubby coz whatever struggles we encountered, no matter what problems we faced he is always there to LOVE and care for me.

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Anonymous said...

Hello Miss D!
I think when we chose to fall in-love we never think that we would lose it. We always think that this is it! It's gonna be forever! But we all know in the backs of our heads that not all are happy endings, and we could get hurt, but we never let that waiver our feelings. We do it because falling in-love is wonderful! It makes us feel alive, it makes us see the beauty of life.

But sometimes we lose it and the pain comes, but pain makes us human. Better to feel pain than feel nothing at all...

So for me, it's better to love and lost than to live without knowing how it is to love and be loved...

Gorgeous MUM said...

Nothing beats that warm and cozy feeling of being in love; and I would say the exact opposite when one gets hurt for falling. But the experience is something worth remembering no matter how painful it is, because for once, you have felt that overwhelming joy of feeling in love!

Chuchu said...

It is definitely better to have love and lost because it is then that you will only know what being love is like. I treasure most of my past loves because at least I learned something from each of them. These experiences have made me who I am today.

sexylegsandbody said...

My opinion? Jump in head over heels, if you do not go for it, you will never gain the experience! If you loose, I promise you, time heals all wounds, and those wounds make you a stronger person. I have lost countless times, however, in the end, through trial and error, I found the right one. (more errors than anything else) I have to add though, every time I crashed and burned, I learned from mistakes, if not mine, then the person I was with. Only instance where those mistakes are not easy to correct, is when there are kids involved. Therefore, it is great to fall in love, and out of love again, but do not have kids unless you are 200% sure you with the right person.
This is a great topic Dorothy, you know just how to pick them!
Colin.

Tina T said...

I know that it sounds so cliche to say that it's better to have loved and lost, but life is filled with losses of all kinds no matter how safe we try to play it. I don't know anyone who would take back the joys they had while being in love even if the relationships did not end well. Of course they need time to heal before they are ready to admit to that.

yuuki said...

it's better to love, even if we fail...but one must learn from it and never to do the same mistakes...

lina@happy family said...

Dear Dorothy, love can hurt but love can make our life more precious, right? I think it's better to have experience with love; and realize that the experience can be happy or sad one...

Dorothy said...

To Love; it's the most powerful feeling we can have and it's motivation to live or we feel a vacuum and never understand what is missing and live life looking for our void never understanding what we lack.

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

gleenn said...

Love is the most beautiful gift from God. It is timeless, it never gets outdated.

I believe D, that it's always better to love and lose than to never love and be loved.

And I think, it is not our choice to love or not to love, but that love choose us when it's time to love.

One lives a roller coaster life when in love, it's a total deviation from a functional life. Thus, a way of spicing up one's life.

But when love fails, it teaches how to embrace life as it comes, how to look at the good side of it, how to move on, and how to conquer.

Those are fantastic questions D! Made me think. ;)

being fashion is... said...

i agree with shengy... without love the life has no meaning... i agree in all...

kisses, sweety

tim said...

life is life, and love is love. It always manifest, no matter who you are and what you are. it is just move in mysterious ways.. nice post...

A Lil Enchanted said...

I think it would be very sad for someone to never experience being in love. As painful as it is to have your heart broken.... it is so worth the experience of being in love.

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

The Reality Guru said...

I really like this post. It is completely honset and I think it is something that we all face every day as human beings

eden said...

to me, it is better to have loved and lost even if it is a painful feeling but it will fade away as time goes by and the experience will makes us more stronger for the next.

ezekiel13 said...

I'd rather experience the gift of love than not to know it at all.. People who says that they don't need someone are just being hypocrites.. or just being selfish...

kandi said...

It's better to love Miss D! Love, love and love until there's no more love to give.... LOL

ManOverBoard.com said...

I have a love/hate relationship with your blog I must say.

Love your posts and thoughts. They are always so well written with great thought behind each one.

Hate the timing of your posts because I have to wait longer then I want, (whining) until the next one appears. Can you tell I am one of those impatient kinda guys?

All in all, Love always wins out D

PS: OK hate is to strong of a word to use. But it went with the theme I was going after ;-)

pumpkienpie said...

Hello there! nice entry by the way everything written is true. For me I still choose to fall in love its a different feeling pain is just part of it. but then every mistake make you a wiser person :)

agung said...

love is something that exists because we live, and we live because there is love

BK said...

I guess I can't tell anyone if it is better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all. But personally, I would rather to have love and lost than to never loved at all.

Joemill said...

Love is a wonderful feeling despite it being a not all that what you expect. You have to expect both the good and the bad. It's always better to have loved and lost than have never tried its magic.

jhonson said...

I think, fall in love is a unique experience.feeling when falling in love is difficult to explain.we are like a child,when we're experience it.but when lose, for someone could not accept it and ends with suicide:)

but I think we're better have it :)

Nash said...

Hello D!

I think "Love" drives people in both positive and negative ways. It all depends on what and who they love. Sometimes it's on how they choose to love and be loved. Now the WHO i believe is fate. But the hows and what we learn from every love experience is worth every moment.

Hopefully it will always be a positive experience in love for you.

Cheers!
ps thanks for the comment... :D

nancy said...

TO LOVE, definitely.

VirusHead said...

Fear is the love-killer.

RE Ausetkmt said...

Love is exactly that - an existence that justifys itself. to give, is the best part of the gift. because if it's real, you will receive it back.

how was thanksgiving ?

Aryo Halim said...

i want to fall in love every second and every minute, so long live to love :)

Anny said...

it is always best to have loved and lost than to never love or be loved before.

the tears will fall but one day.. u'll stand up tall and fall in love again :) hopefully.

in the end... only love matters most.

Tina said...

this is great. makes you really think.

i do think it is better to have loved than lost then never have love in your life at all.

i couldnt imagine life without love in it.

Tina from
Mummy Diaries
Game FreakZ
Gossip Avenue
Travel Shack

SANDY said...

To have loved and lost is better than not to have loved.

Beautiful post
Sandy

Chris said...

It's definitely worth the risk. It is scary to try again after your heart has been broken, but I believe you really don't have a choice in whether you fall in love or not anyway when the right person comes along.

Sandee said...

To have loved and lost is much better. Yes, there is the pain of loss, but never to have loved at all. That would be just so sad.

Have a terrific day. :)

vange said...

Better to risk losing it. You get over it...mostly...eventually.

Melanie said...

If you don't love, you don't live. Life is meaningless without love, will it be love to GOD, family, or opposite sex. LOVE is the most special gift you can give to others without any cost at all. LOVE is the most treasured feelings or emotion you can feel towards opposite sex. You can be hurt sometimes but the pain is nothing compared to the feeling when you are in love. Falling in love is the most glorious feeling you will ever have!

kumagcow said...

Well its alright... you just need to enjoy it...experiencing it would be the best way you can learn from it.

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Jhos said...

greatzzzz, post i love it :)

Yosep said...

gretzzzzz post, i really love it

darkfarmer said...

nice article.. :D

luc said...

a monk, he has a love, but he can't make love, but he still has a love

Munir Ardi said...

sorry dorothy inever feel, have and find love again

maricel said...

i think i agree with askcherlock..it is always better to love than nothing at all. We learned and become stronger. I love to read your articles.

Willliam Wallace said...

The problem with love is that most people are not really in love, they think they are, they claim to be. In fact most people do not understand what love is or means.

I know plenty of people that claim to be in love, both males and females who cheat and lie to their wife’s, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends. Whether it is cheating with someone for real or whether it is cyber sex. So how can such people claim to be or can possible be in love when they lie and cheat.......

nice A said...

To love or not to love? To love and lose it is better than not having loved at all. Even the pain of losing makes us strong and a better person. It can help us understand others more who are experiencing it because we know it feels so we can be more effective in giving them advice and becoming more emphatic.

lorian said...

anyway, love is better.

Blogging said...

Love...love....and love...

jhudiel said...

hi ms. D,

for me it is better to have loved and lost..

life is about experiencing all these feelings and emotions - passion, happiness, euphoria, fear, pain, hearthaches... and the experiences we went through that allowed us to feel all these emotions will taught us valuable lessons.. making us stronger...making us a better person.. as the song goes - you live, you learn :-)

bubble said...

before falling into love i thought it as Loss Of Valuable Energy but now i feel i'm wrong.....Love beats everything

Hobby Exchange said...

good post my friend, thanks.

Anonymous said...

i love your post. It is better to love and experience the magic that love can bring.

jatger said...

everybody need love,, sex needed too but not urgen