Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Betrayed by a Trust

You loved him with your entire being. You gave him your heart and soul.
He was the bright light of your day and the peaceful darkness of your night.
Every thought you possessed started and ended with him and your love for him.
Your trust in him was given without question.

You are then confronted with one of the worst breaches a heart can survive.
He gave his heart to another.
He cherished and shared private moments with another.
He left you with nothing but a broken heart.
Your love has been violated, leaving you feeling betrayed by your own trust.

But then....
He wants you back.
He cannot live without you.
He has crawled back to you, begging for forgiveness.
Begging for your heart to be returned.
Begging for your trust once again.

Does he not know what he has done to you through his choice of actions?
How does one forgive?
How does one forget?
Most of all ...how does one trust again after such a betrayal.............


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101 comments:

Crissy said...

thanks for this entry. I can so relate.

Anonymous said...

Dorothy, I would like to add that in order to get out of this situation once and forever a woman needs to realize how she attracted it - that is which her thoughts and patterns of thinking attracted the betrayal.

Yes, it is not easy at the beginning but happy life is worth to take the path of healing yourself.

I would highly recommend to read the following book: Women Who Love Too Much, written by Robin Norwood.

Ekaterina

Dorothy L said...

@ Genuinewoman

Thank you for your thoughts.

Yes...It is in fact our own responsibility to heal ourselves no matter what or whom causes the negative experiences we are challenged with in our lives.

I have read..Women Who Love Too Much. It is an excellent resource for women who continuously find themselves drawn to the wrong types and/or cannot let them go even though they know they are a negative influence on their relationship.

Again thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Very well stated Dorothy. I have been in this relationship, my marriage to Walter for almost 30 years now.

No long term, life time relationship of any kind, makes it without some bumps.

But, if you love each other. You can work through anything that comes your way.

But, as you said, once forgiven, you have to put it away, leave it alone, and move on!!

This goes for him and her and not just one. It takes the 2 of you working together as a team, in love and friendship.

Fantastic post as always!! all I did was talk about turtles today!!
Jackie:-)

askcherlock said...

This is another very insightful post, my dearest D. Trust is everything in a relationship and once it is betrayed, I'm not sure there is ever a going back. My mother used to tell me that "a leopard doesn't change its spots." I have found this to be oh so true. And hit the road Jack!

angga chen said...

hallo...just visit your nice blog and nice article...thanks

Lulu said...

i love this post... very enlightening

david zen-kennedy said...

Dorothy - thank you for the kind comments on my blog. I am pleased you liked the photographs. For a long time, I've visited your women's self esteem blog and thought that what you were writing about was so valuable.

秘密崇拜者 said...

hi dorothy, yes i have check it on your comment, hmm you can call me TT its shorted from my real name hehehe.

vange said...

If the Clintons can make it, any one can!

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

"Relationships are built with a continuous effort by both partners towards a positive and healthy life together."

I agree with you Dor! very well said. Feels like I am reading a wonderful pocket book. Very interesting and worth reading.

My husband and I always make sure that we settle whatever problems we have.

Jarlin Paul said...

Very nice one...Keep writing.

Chloe Ling said...

Hey Dorothy, i felt so much for this post! For me, once betrayed, it's so hard for me to trust that person again, even if i'm willing to forgive and forget, i just don't know what else i can get out of him anymore, it's so hard to love this person again!! So i guess i better take ur advise! Forget him!

Dhemz said...

what can I say? this is very inspiring entry Ms. D...am sure most people can relate this....I think everybody does.....thanks for sharing the thoughts....:)

shengy said...

thanks for this dorothy...i will recommend this site to my friend...your're such a blessing

ShedLife said...

He said I can't live my life without him....

I live a happy life without him now..it's hard, but I chose to let him go...it's just a matter of many days and years of struggle and it's worth it.. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi ~D~, sorry, out of topic. I can see now you are using Zemanta. Cool :).

familyblog said...

Your posts are an inspiration to many and I TRUST that putting Him first ALWAYS.

He is using you in so many ways..

TRUST in Him, wishing you well, always...

peenkfrik said...

Very well said. :)

Garry said...

The hard cold fact of reality is that most people can never truly forgive and forget and it will always effect the relationship. Also I personally think that once someone has cheating in their blood they will never change, they cant change, the buzz of sex with someone other than their long term partner is too much excitement to give up.

PJ said...

as i have grown older, i would like to think that wisdom has grown also. i have been in relationships where there was cheating going on, and it does very much hurt. trust is a major part of any relationship, especially a partner/marriage one. i do think that sometimes people can just make a mistake. but it is our own choice whether we are willing to deal with that and move on or wallow in it and continue to feel hurt and betrayed. i, now, wouldn't stay in a relationship where there was betrayal. i feel that things should be talked about together before this is even a thought. if you are in a committed relationship there shouldn't be any reason to not be able to talk about any issues. and if it did happen still, i would walk away.

Lyn said...

This a nice and very informative post Dorothy.
I can so relate with this one but in a different situation.

The truth is that I don't know how I made it through after that incident. And one thing is for sure things will never be the same with me and with my family after what had happened.

Trust is really important! No matter how you see things once it's broken it can never go back the same way again.

Cacai M. said...

HI Dorothy, this is really a scary and a sad thing--betrayed through trust--since that's a deep feeling from one's inner sense. I pity to those ones.

burn said...

Everything in here really touches my soul..

Does he not know what he has done to you through his choice of actions?
How does one forgive?
How does one forget?
Most of all ...how does one trust again after such a betrayal?

It will be very difficult to regain such trust...

burn said...

you have very nice photos... great job!

posh post said...

would you believe? the one who bestows forgiveness is actually the one who benefits?

Irfan "melodic" Nugroho said...

Thumbsup, thumbsup...! Betrayed by trust can be something that is really really to understand. It too much hurts. Strongly agree with you, Mrs Dorothy

Best regards,

Irfan Melodic Nugroho
Melodramatic Mind

Facts on the Recent News

whisper said...

Excellent post. thank you for sharing

BK said...

Trust and honesty are very important in any relationships. If one cannot trust the other person in a relationship, then it will be very challenging to get along with the other person; imagine there will always be doubts. How possibly can a relationship be built on doubts. So for me, it will be best to give it up. Unless one is ready to give the other person another chance, then one must be ready to forgive. Of course the other person's need to work very hard to get back the trust.

Tina T said...

I agree that trust is everything, and that the work is never done in a relationship. It seems like after a betrayal that the forgetting part is a much longer process than the forgiving part.

Golspektakuler said...

Hi friend, nice to visit you again.

draxc0la said...

nice picture.. i love this post

satria said...

hi dorothy... nice to visit this blog..

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Hey there D,
Just popping in to wish you a happy weekend!!:-)

VanillaSeven said...

There's saying "Love like you never hurted before" which I think is quite related to this topic. If we cannot forgive someone, might as well forget about that person, or else the wound will reopened again.
Great insight Dorothy :)

秘密崇拜者 said...

Hi Dorothy, TT is here hahaha, hope your weekend are also great like me hahaha, thats why i expressed it on my MP3 songs on my site just for weekend....

Clarissa said...

Fantastic posts as always,Ms.Dorothy L!!People can always made mistakes but it is in the person on how to deal with it and move on..If someone betrayed me,I can forgive but I will walk away...

mel said...

hi there..
what's goin on in Florida,
visiting here from Indonesia.hope you come to my blog and you'll find the beautiful of Indonesia

chubskulit said...

I agree with genuinewoman... thanks for this enlightening post ms. D.

Spicybugz said...

I have lived this post. It felt like the ground opened up from underneath me. I didn't think I would ever recover, but over time I did. Learning to trust again was the hardest part, letting it go, and moving forward was very hard also. Excellent post, as always

Sandy said...

WOW...that made me speechless and the photo you put with it...perfect.

I've known a few women who fit that mold, and sadly even when they've gotten out of one bad situation they seem to find themselves...in fact are attracted to the same thing all over again.

Sandy

BuDakHutaN said...

i should 'upload' this to my brain , as a guidance for me in a relationship...
betrayed by trust , that's really hurt the most!
keep on writing...

1st rule... to love..
make sure it's love ...not lust...

All About Samarinda said...

encourage postie....

I drop...

Jude said...

I enjoyed reading this post and I'm quite sure many people have been betrayed in one way or another. I think I was hurt more by my best friends betrayal than a love interest at one point. Even though I forgave the best friend they no longer had my trust and nothing would restore it so we are almost like strangers now, but say hello when we meet and it still makes me sad to lose that confidant and closeness.

秘密崇拜者 said...

Hello my friend how are you? Just dropping by before i go to sleep after the vacation time 8 hours driving, just to wish you a great weekdays a head..

AngelBaby said...

What if she leaves him for good and doesn't take him back, how does she get over the betrayal?

I had this happen to me along with a few other things he did and I did leave him and never took him back. I took allot of time to get over this betrayal by figure out - what in me needs fixing that I found him to be acceptable? After fixing me I could move on again.

Love and Blessings,
AngelBaby

abbegrt said...

Dorothy - thank you for the kind comments on my blog. I am pleased you liked the photographs. For a long time, I've visited your women's self esteem blog and thought that what you were writing about was so valuable.

Margo said...

so well said. I doubt there is any woman in the world (and a lot of men ?) who couldn't relate to and appreciate this. I think it covers betrayals in friendships too. Thank you for this insightful post :)

ennie said...

searching something special on the net, i found
this website. so i stay here a moment. looking around
and i think this site very nice and useful, just thank you. i lucky today.

Shinade aka Jackie said...

I love your beautiful and inspiring new graphic D!
Happy week:-)

秘密崇拜者 said...

Dorothy thanks 4 the comment, but this story is not ended yet, please wait for the 2nd part ok... hahahha, wish you a good days ahead dorothy, take care...

Makoy said...

thanks dorothy. i hope you can drop by to my other blogs. take care!

lina-happy family said...

Great and very meaningful post!
I hate betrayal. I've told my husband that I won't forgive him if he cheates me. I also pray to have a happy mariage life.

gleenn said...

my ideal side says that if i get a husband and he cheats, then realizes his mistake and comes back, I might give him another chance. However, looking back at my past relationships, the thought of accepting back an ex that i once hated for betrayal, forgiven and been let go is just gross. i guess it just comes down to the fact that once the trust is broken, it can't be fixed back like brand new.

eden said...

great post. while reading, it brings back memories for I was once betrayed. I forgive him but never forget.

i love your photo, D!

Ash Fox said...

what an empowering blog you have!

..thank you so much for dropping by my blog and for your lovely comment. glad you are also a juliette fan. keep in touch!

xo

www.tittees.blogspot.com

Melanie said...

I agree that being betrayed by someone you love most is painful beyond words. Forgiveness is hard to find, and took me years to find it. When I finally found it, we became friends, but that just it..you could not go back to what you used to have. That relationship has been stained and been part of your past. Time for you to move on and go on with your life. Used that experienced to make you stronger and smarter. No matter how painful and ugly it was, every experienced thought us something.

秘密崇拜者 said...

Good morning my dear dorothy, sorry i'm late, wish you all the best

I have a new article about the communication that i am using so far.

Guangzhou story part 2 is still being crafted please be passion hahahha

Sandee said...

I could have written this one pretty much. About 20 years ago that is. Excellent.

Have a terrific day. :)

healthandfitnessgeek.com said...

thanks for sharing, nice article

vidya putra said...

totally agree with -> "Relationships are built with a continuous effort by both partners towards a positive and healthy life together."

I am Xprosaic said...

It's difficult if the issue in one's relationship is trust...

eugene said...

dorothy,

please teach me how you garner so many comments in every of your entry..

you are my master now

take care

Keith said...

Thanks for stopping by and commenting at my blog. I wanted to visit yours. I really like it. Good post. Have a wonderful day.

A Lil Enchanted said...

Hi Dorothy.... just wanted to let you know that I left you some love over on my blog :)

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

秘密崇拜者 said...

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Imelda said...

this happened to me once. i forgave and i forget.its always best to have a closure.

u have a very good post here dorothy, thanks.

Gerri Ward said...

This is one powerful post to pass along, I have been there and know exactly what you're talking about!
You manage to put into words exactly what many of us need to read over and over again if we simply choose not to hear! Thank goodness I have heard but to read it makes me proud of myself knowing I have forgiven and moved forward!!!

Angeline said...

My dear, I felt like you are writing about me....
guess what? I couldn't trust again... I let go....

stagingworks2009 said...

It is cool and sounds deep in heart. I love to read this one.Thanks for sharing such deepness. From Home Staging Company

ediretnati said...

you always write nice words, Dorothy.... very touching me.....

Maria said...

I think all women and maybe everyone in general can relate to most if not all of this article. Men always do seem to come back IMHO and it's usually only more of the same. Love CAN turn to hate in my experience. Glad I'm happily married now :)

Thanks for the link!!!

maxivelasco said...

hello dorothy!

gaining back one's trust is perhaps one of the most hardest things to do. it takes time to have it 100% back... if not, never.

you are right, by the time you choose to forgive the person, you have to forget and move on. otherwise, happiness will never be established at all.

have a nice day! hugs!

maxi of www.ovahcoffee.com
and www.hnhpages.com

Hunters Glory said...

WoW!

Yen said...

I can relate to those post. Thanks for writing this article its nice to read stuffs like this.

Anonymous said...

Nice post really heart touching feelings

Harry Nizam H. said...

Hi Dorothy,
Your post depicts what I am facing, in this case I am the male.
Cuts like a knive!
You've got a Great Blog! WOW!
It's easy to access, nice design, and very interesting. Congrats!

khaye said...

thanks for this wonderful entry ma'am dorothy.
yes,11yrs in marriage I've been betrayed and I felt dying,ashamed. And until now still hurt and always in my mind.

Joni Rei said...

Trust is really important in any kind of relationship. If it's been broken. Its so hard to bring it back again.

Gigi said...

That is the very thing I am going through right now. Betrayal.
Will I have to deal with the forgiveness part of it? The rebuilding of trust? I don't know yet. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
And, yeah, the not bringing it up again part would be hard. Because I'd be tempted to tease him about some of the s-t-u-p-i-d things he's said as his reasoning for leaving his family.

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Tey said...

Is thgis your situation? Geee very touching. Well sometimes you have to follow what is right before following what your heart said.
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Chris said...

I don't think anyone can say for sure what they would do unless they've been through such a betrayal. Thankfully I have not; my knee jerk reaction is that I would never forgive him, but then again if you still love him and it was a good relationship before things went south, he makes changes and you can live with it, I say go for it.

Mike Golch said...

times there no getting past that transgression.

pitercentre said...

I always like almost yr post..full of inspiration ...successs always

Rajesh Kumar.Chekuri said...

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Dr. Lauren said...

This was so emotional for me. I experienced this about 12 years ago with someone I dearly loved. It was out of the blue and quite surprising to know that he had strayed.

LIZZIE said...

hi dorothy..

i think if something like this happened to me, i wouldn't be able to forgive and forget, no matter how much i loved him in the beginning. i guess i'm a little vindictive when i'm betrayed and would probably retaliate or use him or hurt him when he begs to return to me instead of opening a new chapter.

i haven't experienced something like this, and i pray to god i never will. but i've experienced betrayal before and i know how painful it can be. what u posted is true. if a person thinks he/she can accept her/his partner back, they have to cleanse themselves, mentally and spiritually..

Hi! I'm Grace said...

Lovely post, Dorothy.
A blessed day to you. :)

kani said...

It's almost weekend... hope you get the best this week. have a nice day...

Crystal Raen said...

Loved reading this, but sometimes one can only be betrayed so many times before they completely break.

Cecile said...

thanks for this post, very touching :-); thanks for the visit also!

Tina said...

loved this article. although i couldnt relate i thought it was very deep and intruiging :)

The Leaves of Tarkong said...

i totally agree with you... :)

Tess said...

I dont think I can survive if my husband would give his heart to another woman. That is probably the Lord gave me a faithful husband that loves me and would die for me.

ipitoon said...

i like this article sister.. keep blogging

newbi said...

nice article
really inspring

Kimmy said...

I had a friendship like this. And this person was like a Twin Flame. Every time he pushed me away, my heart ached. And then, out of no where, he would enter my life once again.

Trust in friendship is so important, and yet why do we continue to forgive and reach out again.

Perhaps because they hurt more than we do. They are torn.

littlemissfly said...

yeah..how does one forgive,forget and trust again after betrayal?

IamNoOne said...

Great article! Yes, how one can give back the trust shattered by betrayal? Trust is one of the strong foundations of every relationship, once this is ruin, it will take time to re-stabize the relationship.

RantZ RcheL said...

nice siz,.,. manntap,.