Thursday, July 9, 2009

Have you ever felt Violated?

Have you ever found yourself looking for your wallet or purse and all of a sudden this grip takes hold of your stomach and the immediate feeling of panic begins to grow inside of you?
You fumble trying to come up with an excuse to the clerk at the medical office that you cannot pay for your appointment because you may have left your wallet at home or worse, it has been taken.....all the while praying to God that it is at home. You search and search high and low all the while fighting the reality that your entire identity is at risk and you cannot do a damn thing about it. You know even while you are repeatedly searching ground that clearly proves your wallet will not be found that easily ...that it has been taken!

Have you ever had your wallet or purse stolen?

My worst fears became a reality when I realized after tearing my house and car apart that my wallet was definitely gone. It became even more evident and traumatic once I called the first credit card company and was told that there was a gas purchase at midnight at a gas station I have never attended.

It was at that moment that my body began to convulse and............

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69 comments:

BK said...

This is one experience that I believe no one would want to go through. I am grateful that I did not have to go through that experience. The only time I felt close to your experience was due to my own carelessness rather than due to reason like yours; I left my wallet in the cab. But straight after I alighted the cab, I realized my stupid mistake.

Immediately I called up the cab company and requested the station to contact the driver. Fortunately the driver called me back shortly and I made arrangement to pick up the wallet from him. I couldn't have thank him enough and wanted to give him a reward which he declined to accept.

He saved me from all the troubles of replacing a new citizen identity card, driving license etc.

And I definitely agree with you that we need to be aware of our surroundings. You just wouldn't know who is there waiting and watching us. One thing we wouldn't want to, is to be victimized.

chubskulit said...

Ohhhh, I hope that you find it son as possible... I understand how you feel, I been there..

Maria said...

Reading this makes me realize how much more careful I need to be. I have come so close to being in this situation so many times. They say we should all keep the #'s to our credit cards and debit cards somewhere safe and I have yet to even do this.

Thanks for the healthy dose of reality and good luck to you!

askcherlock said...

D, no one should have to go through this, and I am so very sorry it happened to you. One does feel violated as well as frightened and frustrated at the system. I am sure you have made all the appropriate phone calls. Now let me tell you two steps I have taken.

1. I convinced my husband that even though we live in a fine neighborhood, we needed a security alarm system. The initial investment was $250.00 and we pay a sum which is less than my cell phone bill on a monthly basis. All security companies have various rates; many offer much of the same peace. That is what I have. Peace. Most of all, I love the panic one-button help you can push. Covers a lot of bases.

2. Since we have grandchildren around us frequently, I did not want a gun in the house. It's a personal choice, and I am fine with those who are responsible people and do have them. Instead, I went to a police issue store and got mace which I keep in my car and on the nightstand beside my bed. Precautions. We need to take precautions, no matter where you live. Desperate people do desperate deeds.

Be safe and well, dear friend and think about precautions. Your address is now out there.

sheila said...

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. I know how you feel - one day I ran up to the 7-eleven ran inside and grabbed something and was back in my car 3 minutes later. It wasn't until I got home that I realized my purse had been stolen out of my car - it was terrifying, irritating, frustrating - I can't believe the nerve of some people.

shancmc said...

I've had my purse stolen. It was terrible.

Clarissa said...

Oh my!!That's very scary!!I can't imagine myself of all those panic!!I hope you'll overcome those fears...

jali free said...

we have ever felt violated in our live, live is learn, learn from everythink your wrong..that wrong can make we strong.

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vanilla said...

I felt the same way too Dorothy.
Happened to me twice in the past.
I almost half wished that actually this is a joke and someone will return the wallet to me or simply found it later on in my room or somewhere else. But the reality was, it is simply gone. Life goes on.

PJ said...

omg, that is horrible! i feel so bad for you. i don't know how i would react in that situation. i hope everything turns out all right and they catch this creep.

sexy legs and body said...

hi D, sorry to hear! I hope you manage, you of all people do not deserve this, but I am glad you will stand tall! Wish I could do something to help.

Jarlin said...

Yeah! its very difficult time to imagine.

BlackBerry said...

Honestly I don't know what to say Ms. D. I feel sorry that you have to experienced this. That plainly sucks.
Is there any progress, yet? I hope so. And I hope all things go smoothly while you try to manage them all.
Love and Hug,
Be strong...

PS: Well, I hope there are a hero to relieve you from this situation (definitely not the Police Officer you've mentioned, Damsel in Distress...

pitercentre said...

sometime in our life there is an accident.we don't realize before...Only God Knows...

Maricel said...

I feel sorry for you Dorothy, it's really difficult to cope up from identity theft... :(

My PayPal account was hacked before and almost lost $40+ (not that big I know but it's kinda big when converted to our currency...)

By the way, update us if everything goes well dear...

Maricel --- Momhood Moments

Thess said...

I'm sorry to hear that Dorothy.

""rare*jonRez"" said...

ahhhh... in third world countries, these kinds of victimizers are flooding so beware everyone!

Tiff said...

This is awful, and I'm so sorry that it happened to you.

I'd been at WalMart once, when two young boys ran past me, almost knocking me over. As they passed me, I heard a woman scream, "Stop them... They took my purse". Like yourself, she had her purse tucked under her arm, and they still attempted to take it.

This is truly a violation, and thank you for sharing your story to raise awareness. Be Safe.

KAT said...

I am sad to hear this. I wondern how on earth they got your wallet out of your purse?? That is scary.

I mean you can understand the open purse in the cart thing, or the purse left in the car thing, but if it is hanging over your shoulder....?

I hope you continue to find the courage and strength to complete everything you have to complete.

Wishing you luck,
Sending you {{{hugs}}},
Kat

Tina t said...

Oh Dorothy,
I totally feel for you. We had identity theft happen when the company where my husband worked hired a temp in HR. That was before identity theft was big news & it took many phone calls to clean up. You may want to see if there is anyone in local government who can help you with replacing all your identification, some places have people to help with this.
Wishing you the best of luck!
Tina

kml said...

My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine the fear and sickening feeling of everything gone - physical as well as emotional. You will be in my prayers and keep up your strength - I can hear it in your words.

Take care, my friend,
Kathy

Split Rock Ranch said...

Oh Dorothy! This made my stomach clench just reading about it. I had a dream once that this happened to me and I woke up in a cold sweat and a total panic. I felt violated when someone broke into my car... in my garage one night! I almost threw up. Fortunately, I didn't have anything in the vehicle that was of any value, but finding the mess they made while looking for something made me ill. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that they catch the scum who did this. Blessings.

lina said...

Sometimes the bad thing happened to us. I've ever had my wallet stolen too.

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Oh Dorothy, how awful. It's scary enough to even THINK I've lost my wallet, but to actually have it taken ...
Be strong. {{hugs}}

Dhemz said...

this is a great post Ms.D! I have never experienced this incident before....but my friends were....wow, I can't imagine if this will happen to me...so sorry to hear about your experience...thanks for sharing...this is a great awareness to everybody.

Hi! I'm Grace said...

"Have I ever felt violated?" Oh yes, a lot of times.
I enjoyed reading this post. You are a great writer. :)

bokjae said...

Thanks D for visiting and leave your comment! We in Malaysia are scared to death of our local motor-biker gangs who harassed, robbed and beat-up anyone they fancy! It is violation in the highest order! People, especially women are scared to drive in the city at night!

entrepod - mama asid said...

D, So Sorry to hear of your loss.
heres' a tip that will make sure it never happens again.

stop carrying anything you don't need on that trip.

1. carry a wallet - not a purse

2. carry only the id you will use when you are out

3. carry copies of your greencard, instead of the card itself

4. only carry one bankcard or creditcard at a time

5. put things into your pocket in a small pouch and that will prevent your hands being full and you being a snatch and grab target.

sorry my tips came late.
if there is anything I can do, let me know - Please.

see the note I left you on your dashboard which is more personal.

{aOOOOhhh DDDDD,, HUGGZZZ}

gab's mom said...

thank you for sharing this despite all the trauma it has brought you.

i hope that you'll soon find the solution to all this. ;-)

Cacai M. said...

OMG! is this recently happened with you Dorothy? If so, OMG! I can relate with this because I was also victimized wayback I was in my country home when I was going back to my work after a break for dinner and I hope it will never happen again with me here because I don't have also something in here! (lol). Anyway, back to the past, it was really frustrating! And I tell you, anger and hatred with nervous collide of that time. The victimizer didn't really know how hard I earned that stuffs he had taken and hope he will go to hell! You know after the incident, I cried and cried--I even put myself in room alone--don't want to hear any words because I know what I had. What's with this victimizer we will do?--identity theft is rampant and spreading nowadays in here.. I hope victimizer will be in conscience and realize that it's a very bad doing!
I hope you will be well and everything's will be alright and the culprit will be punished as to the deepest torn of his/her heart!

gleenn said...

oh my God D! that's my greatest fear. I am always paranoid about losing my wallet. I know how difficult it is to start to acquire all those ids when u don't have any identification left. I'm so sorry. I hope your okay now and I pray for your safety. Take care. Hugs :)

Mizé said...

It´s an awful experience D. I´m sorry it happened to you.
The worst is knowing that the person who did this knows more about you than you know about him. The fear of the unknown is the worst part of it.
I hope you get your ID soon and have the strength to move on.
In my country we now have a government´s bureau called "Lost Wallet", where we can take care of all our documents in one place.
Good weekend, the best possible :)
Mizé.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

oh no so sad to hear about this =(
i've gone through this too and I felt really bad =(
my sister experienced the same and her whole bag was snatched but glad she was not hurt. all her valuables are there including her new cellphone which she just got paid.
May God bless and guide you always Dor.

babygirl said...

i liked this picture so much i had to copy it to show my blogging friends hope you didnt mind
i like your blog by the way

A Mom's Choice said...

Sorry, this happened to you. I've had a similar experience with a girl I was giving a ride because she was pregnant and walking a long way to work. She stole checks out of my purse, while I ran into my home. I wasn't gone for 5 minutes, which gave her enough time to get into my purse and find my balance. She wrote a check to herself and cashed it. Needless to say all of my checks bounced. My landlord looked down on me like I was some irresponsible person. I had the bank call and explain the situation, but it did no good. Come to find out she had a habit of doing this. Prior to me finding out the girl was arrested for similar things. At the time I did not know for what she was arrested for.

Star-chuu said...

Sorry to hear that Dorothy..Hope everything will be fine and you will recover all items you need. Sometimes, we can't expect things will happen even we are aware such things, if the victimizer still around, we can't even tell them not to do that..to do this. Because this is one of their goal, to be one of their victim. I hope and pray that God will touch their heart and make them feel the conscience of love so they will change the way of their life for good. God bless and take care always Dorothy.

lorian said...

sorry to know it late. Anyway, it happenned, the only thing you should do (as you said) is moving forward. Let bygone be bygone. It's pretty hard, so be strong.
Take care!
Lorian

The Reds said...

i'm sad when i was read this articles... pffuuhh.. i just take a deep breath...

spicybugz said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. I can feel your frustration and fear. I hope they catch the dirty thief while he/she is trying to use your cards. I am guilty of leaving my purse in the cart while I am shopping, but I wont be doing that anymore, and I will be extra careful from now on. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this. Hugs

Goodies said...

Sometimes it is the best convenience of the system that we live today that makes the worst case of inconvenience in our lives. We don't carry cash by having credit cards, we have ID's for our identity, and so on. But in times like these, what a hassle!

The BoBo said...

That's a pretty awesome picture. Anyway - I've had my wallet stolen right out of my car once. I was at a taco bell..went through the drive through - they got the order wrong. It was hot so I had my window down. I walked in just to get the rest of my order. Couldn't have been more than 5 minutes. When I got back to my car my wallet had been stolen from the middle console.
I know exactly how you feel. It takes a lot of time to get over that vulnerable feeling - not to mention the amount of time it takes to get all the cards cancelled, replacement driver's license, SSN card, etc.
Good luck - I know you need it. Also wanted to say thanks for placing your CMF ad on my blog. It is appreciated.

Rosa said...

Sorry, this happened to you. Thats scary! God bless and take care always Dorothy.

Rosa Meanderings Istarblog Express Life Life In Palawan Baby Blog Pink Precious

marveling said...

Hi Dorothy, visiting here once again.. Hope you are feeling okay..

Carms said...

maybe before but now I know how to fight for my right. thanks for the advice God bless you

Grampy said...

That same thing happened to me in New York city. It is not fun.

ayomaos said...

sorry to know it late. I hope that does not happen for the second time. May God bless and guide you always my friend

Daisy said...

I'm so sorry that happened to you! A few months ago, someone got our credit card number and security code and ordered stuff. Luckily, the vendor flagged the purchase as fraudulent right away. We canceled our card and got a new one sent via next-day mail.

AUGUSTINIANS said...

to hell with this perpetrator! he/she should have just took the money and left your wallet somewhere else where anyone can have a look and return those important things like your cards and other stuffs. it's really hard to follow-up such loss especially with those identity cards. Even more terrifying if his/her motive is to stalk you with those identity cards, i hope it is not! Be strong and i know you are. just be a keen observer knowing that this perpetrator stole your identity and got a lot of infos about you now. Moreover, if this is one of God's way to make you even stronger and tougher in every circumstances you'll be dealing with then let's just leave all things up to Him! I hope everything will be fine soon!

Anonymous said...

Dorothy, I know it is hard for you. But everything that happens to us is a possitive sign from the Universe. The Universe is trying to tell you something through this situation.
Take care!

Anonymous said...

I meant that there is a positive intention behind this situation. You can find out it by asking yourself: What do I learn from this situation? Why did it happen to me? Why now? What did I felt and thought before this situation had happened?

As well, the Universe (or God, or your subconscious mind – you can call the way it is comfortable for you) shows you that you have fear and stress about something. You attracted this situation with your negative thoughts and emotions about something.

You have a choice. You can consider yourself:
1) as a victim – but in this case you are out of control
2) as an owner of your life – in this case you have control! Just take it!

To take control of it:
1) become an owner of your life. Your thoughts and feelings are your instrument. Try to work on this statement: “In any situation nothing and nobody can hurt me. I am in control of my life.”
2) Realize the positive function of thieves in general. They are the tools that the Universe uses to teach people not to be greedy, envy, money-concerned and etc.
3) You got the lesson from the Universe; therefore sincerely thank the thief and the Universe for this situation.
4) Create the intention: “I will get my purse back in right moment.” You need to truly believe in that to get your purse back!
5) Find out which your thoughts and emotions caused this situation.
6) Find out what the Universe is trying to tell you.

I know you can make it! =)

Sandee said...

I've had my wallet taken, but have not gone what you are going through. How scary. I hope your find closure very soon.

Have a terrific day. :)

Irfan "melodic" Nugroho said...

Well, knowing our wallet was gone as being stolen is something really terrible for me. But, it will be OK as if nothing wrong if we do not realize that our wallet had been stolen :)

Best regards,

Irfan Melodic Nugroho
Melodramatic Mind

Facts on the Recent News

shengy said...

it was the time when I saw my Father cried...i was helpless then...the money that was intended for my schooling was stolen... until now I still remember it..

ShedLife said...

the feeling is mutual

Carms said...

Hi dorothy thanks for visiting my post and putting a smile in my face God bless you.

familyblogsa said...

Yes I've been there, but like I explained... it's your choice, how you manage the circumstances.

My turn, I love the last sentence...

Joemill said...

I was also in an almost similar situation as you were in. I lost my wallet, with it were my cards and money and my cellphone. It was the weirdest that ever happened to me. It was unbelievable. I was definitely mad for awhile but realized that the least I could do was to pray for them. It was a learning experience; now I'm more cautious than ever.

I feel so sorry for what happened Dorothy. I'm hoping you'll be able to get past this difficult time. God Bless you!

Kelly B said...

I feel your pain. I've had my wallet stolen twice.

Once when I was about 18 or 19 and working in retail. One of the girls I worked with brought a friend into the store and went in the backroom. When I went to lunch, I realized my wallet was not in my purse. I ran to the car and it was not there. When I got home I checked all over and then got a call that my cc had been used...

Then when I was 22 and in college, it was stolen, I think, on the L train. That's when I noticed it was gone. The people who had it wanted to meet me somewhere to return it. Of course, I'm not that stupid, so I had to go through the entire process AGAIN.

Since then, I have been extremely cautious and lucky....

Sorry for your troubles!

Kelly

genial said...

i'm so sorry to hear that Dorothy :(

donna510 said...

Your post cooling me D,
Wishing u a great day today.

donna510 said...

Cooling me with ur strength to face trouble. Am sure u can.
People with different thought and character, impossible for us might be possible for others.

Take care D ...

Irfan Melodic said...

Hi MRs Dorothy.... :)

How are you doing today? Wish you're OK at all times.

Nice greeting from Indonesia :)

Best regards,

Irfan Melodic Nugroho
Melodramatic Mind

Facts on the Recent News

Bradpetehoops said...

She is look like Brooke Shields.

eden said...

so sorry to hear about this. I had the same feeling when my wallet was stolen. I had sleepless nights and afraid to go out alone. I felt that someone was following me too and I even afraid to answer our telephone. there were two people who rang me in separate occasions. one was telling me that she found my wallet behind their office and the other one was from a care taker of a building who found my bank cards scattered in the premises. I never went to see them because I was afraid it was another trick.

Hope the perpetrator will be caught soon by the authority and will be punished of what he/she had done. Thanks for sharing. this makes everyone to be aware always.

hugs to you

donna said...

I had an experience like this before. It's was so traumatic. I lost all of my ID cards. It was my bad tho, i wasn't that careful.

Harry Nizam H. said...

Hi Dorothy,
I can understand how you felt when you lost the wallet. Because I have also faced the same experience several years ago.
Best regards,

watzabatza said...

Good Day Dorothy..

As I look at the pic, it's a good art but have a deep meaning though.. I like it...

luc said...

i believe it's like a prison but i dont live there

Haddock said...

Oh yes it happened to me, but what followed was more interesting.
The guy who got my wallet, kept all the cash to himself, put all the rest of the things in the wallet (like ATM card, credit card, I card all bits of papers, driving license etc etc) in a cover and posted it to me without affixing a postage stamp. It reached me (and the Post Office took the fine)