Saturday, January 23, 2010

Relationships & Roller-coaster Rides!

Up..down, a quick around, a sharp turn left, a sharp turn right, traveling blindly into a tunnel ahead, leading to an instant dead drop...this is a vague, but direct description of two things we experience in life.

One being on a roller-coaster ride the other being in a relationship.

Both rides clearly have a beginning and an ending...yet are still somewhat unpredictable and uncontrollable, this is why they are so hard to resist and so innately tempting to our psyche.

Both rides deliver a chemical reaction that is so addictive and irresistible to our adrenaline, that no matter how scary or unpleasant it seems at times, we continue to return for more.

Neither can offer security or promise, they do however offer the thrill of the unknown, the desire to fulfill a dare or a fantasy and most of all the ability to overcome certain challenges we face through nature and our own subconscious weakness known as 'fear'.

Relationships and roller-coaster rides can be extreme experiences in life. The need for your own balance and inner strength to be able to deal with its twists and turns is vital to the outcome of the ride. If you are too weak, you will loose control and all self-stability in your life. If you are too strong and have no fear whatsoever...your taking the ride for granted, your letting your guard down and without warning, you will end up shocked when it ends unexpectedly.


Not only is it essential to have knowledge of the risk involved in the ride, you must also have a certain amount of awareness so you can be prepared for the unknown. Forewarned is forearmed! If you enter the ride expecting too little or too much, it can leave you very disappointed and unfulfilled.

Roller-coaster and relationship rides are also extremely difficult if not impossible to exit once you step on, which is another reason to be very sure you are willing to stay the course.

Either way.....both rides demand some level of mental preparation and knowledge as neither ride can be entered without risk. Hence the saying, 'Enter at your own risk'. I repeat myself in using the word, 'risk' as it is a key word when entering any relationship or roller-coaster ride and its meaning must be heard and understood clearly.

A risk is the outcome of the gamble you take when you invest your heart, your time and/or your money in something that appears to offer what you cannot ignore. So be very aware of the risk involved in any ride in life!

Important words to remember...even though you cannot control or predict these rides...you can control how you allow these rides to affect you, just as you can control how you enter and leave the ride!


So tell me.....

How do you enter the rides that your life challenges you with?

~D~

Add Your Site For Free Today!



Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

42 comments:

lina@women's perspectives said...

Great post, D. As a couple, I and my hubby think as a team. We've experienced some difficult situations, and we face it together, thank God, until now we're still survive.

askcherlock said...

I think that as we mature, we measure the risks a bit more before taking the ride. But I had to come to that knowledge by taking risks in my youth, as most of us do. There are no guarantees, of course, so your advice about being prepared is wise. Life is an adventure and with it comes risks. We need to be prepared for those steep downward slopes, but measuring the risk before handing anyone our ticket is important.

Raj said...

he he, First time I saw someone comparing a love relationship with a roller coaster ride. But yeah, the comparison is viable.

mmm, But I would like to differ, Of Course a Roller Coaster ride has an end, but its not necessary that all relationships also end. There are numerous examples of relationships that have not separated the lovers till death....

What do u say about it... ;-P

VanillaSeven said...

Thoughtful thoughts D. Relationship are much better if both party stop looking at each other weakneses and look together to the path ahead.

maritz said...

learned many things here...

RE Ausetkmt said...

I wonder if the ride changes moment by moment, and if those changes help to reform us in the relationship ? I know that I've tried to readjust myself from time to time to make things easier in a relationship, but is that really the right thing to do ? so many questions Ms.D. so many questions.

Yun said...

do not get on it. The ticket is unexpressed expectations...

shengy said...

sometimes we blow up badly..but still we always make it a point to settle them calmly...

ShedLife said...

i guess..communication is the best way to make up...

and we are trying to mend it all from it

John Paul said...

hi!! I've never meet some relation or experience!! but at this moment I finally understand what is it all about! tnx!:)) Ma'am I have also a blog site hope u will follow it!! :)) http://agreatlifestyle.blogspot.com

sexylegsandbody said...

Great post as always Dorothy, and wise words. Risks are there to be taken, however, if you take a risk, make it a calculated risk, not a blind jump into dont know where...

I enjoyed reading that.
Hope your week will be a peaceful one!

Colin.

Aulawi Ahmad said...

nice post, n i like the title hmmm that about risk or effect :)

Dorothy L said...

@ Raj...yes relationships do all in-fact end as we as humans all enter into the stage of life known as death.

@ RE....yes indeed we do have many questions as we should. The second we stop asking we chose to stop living.
There are changes in every thought we process whether it be on a roller-coaster ride or a relationship as with each turn or dark corner our thoughts are never the same resulting in constant changes within our own minds.
We adjust in our thoughts to be able to deal with or accept. IS it the right thing to do...my answer always involves the word balance when it comes to anything we do in life! Yes it is always the right thing to do as long as you apply an equal balance.

ManOverBoard.com said...

The imagery of the roller coaster and a relationship, while at first was hard to conceive in my mind, is now etched in.

I know each of your posts are so well thought out and love the way you put everything together in a thoughtful and provocative way, I can't seem to help myself today with silly thoughts. Ever have one of those days? Unfortunately you get to read my thoughts.

I can see in my minds eye, a new addendum to people who either meet on one of the many dating sites online or get picked to go on a blind date. I think it becomes mandatory that all dates must first have to meet the proposed height level requirement. Just like the roller coaster the man must be tall enough to stand above the height requirement or he cannot proceed onto the ride, or date.

Those who can get on the ride and find out while in the middle of the ride either incapacitating fear or worse yet turns their stomach to the point of having to vomit, shall never be allowed to ride the coaster again.

Those who think to stand up and yell at the top of their lungs a guttural sound in the beginning or middle of the ride shall again be banned from riding at a latter date.

Those who weep incessantly on their first ride, while acceptable, shall ride by themselves from here on out.

And finally those who feel they are an expert at riding and show it by riding non stop for two straight days can be viewed by others in one of two ways. The first being those who not only think it cool but would ride with them for the entire two day run. Or secondly why amazed and maybe even amused by such non stop performance, would rather take a break and perhaps rest quietly before thinking of going at it again.

If I have missed any, you can be assured I will be back with a follow up. The weirdo from MOB.

shengy said...

before I lose weight..i was really..and I haven't expected it..

it is really ms d. and you are right it really depents on me how to react on things..mental preparation is important really..

ShedLife said...

well im very emotional person..i always cry..but with what I've experienced before..now I know that we have to accept things that it is really over inspite of begging him to come back..life must go on and now im happy..the pain i had taught me well..

eden said...

Another great post Ms D. I enjoyed reading it. I always enter it at my own risk and always prepared for the unexpected. It was really hard to accept at first but time heals as it goes by.It made me to realize many things and made me a stronger person.
Now that I am married to a good and very supportive man, we always both work things out together.We learn a lot of things along the way and sometimes dealing with things is becoming easier.

Glenda said...

i can so relate... i'm feeling it!

bingkee said...

I admire the way you compare rollercoaster rides with relationships. But rollercoaster rides have an ending where life and relationships should not have an ending. But as a rollercoaster ride does not give you any chance to learn or teach you something about anything , relationships do teach a value or a lesson.
I enter rides of life with a faith in God that He holds me in His hand and He will always be there with me to guide me.

JENIE said...

wonderful post...as always!

still remember me dor? it's been a while since i last saw you on my blogs, and i miss your visits!
earthy me has changed already;)

Remy said...

Relationship & Love is like riding a bicycle..sometimes you fall and hurt with a bruise...

Betty Smorgas said...

I appreciate the comparison, but roller coasters can't get you pregnant, and relationships don't have a height requirement, no? And are there gay roller coasters?

Jenn said...

Great post! And so true when you talk about the "need for your own balance and inner strength." At one point I felt like I had lost myself in my relationship and what I did for myself has not only helped me personally but also my relationship. Check out Sherri Nickols and her program at http://unleashyourself.com. She has a great teleplayshop How to Find and Own Your Playful Sexy Self that runs monthly. It is wonderful!

Jenn said...

I like the roller-coaster ride reference. You know how many different types of roller-coasters are out there you can ride? You can choose which ride you want to take.

Grace said...

It's really up to the persons involved how they would handle the consequences of the ride (relationship). As an icing to a cake, the ups and downs in a roller coaster ride add excitement to the ride. The problems couple encounter in a relationship make them stronger and ready for a scarier ride next time.

editor said...

NIce article.I will be coming from time to time.

PJ said...

i think as i have gotten older and have more experience i am getting to the point that i don't expect anything. i just let it be what it is and enjoy what it is while it is. i have hurt and been hurt most of my life, but i have also been the one to allow those feelings to be me. i continue to learn to control those feelings and emotions and am doing better at accepting what they are. don't know if that is making any sense or not, but can't think of any other way to say it.

been missing my blogging friends and wanted to stop in and say hi and wish you a wonderful day...hugz!

ps, were the baskets a hit or a miss...hehehe

VanillaSeven said...

One thing I know about roller coaster. Keep your eyes open. When we see where we going, it will be less dizzy. Same thing about relationship I believe.

jenskie said...

hi! wow, i love reading your posts. i can relate of it.

jenskie said...

hi! wow, i love reading your posts. i can relate of it.

imelda said...

man has to be a risktaker always. me i always brace myself for the worst in order to avoid frustrations,not that im pessismistic but i am just cushioning any negative impact of thngs on me

Tripzibit said...

The most important thing to do in our life is how we as a human being can control our own fear, and ready to take a risk in our life.

Love this post, very thoughtful :)

One of The Guys said...

Dorothy,
Good to read your writing again!

The best example I can give is having children. We weren't really ready, or for that matter sure of what we were getting ourselves into, but we just went for it. I think so many people feel they have to be prepared. But you know what? You can't really be prepared, because life is too unpredictable, and thus exciting.

Your roller coaster analogy is right on.

I didn't get a lot of emotional support growing up but I must have gotten enough to handle being in a mature relationship. Although, I'm still learning as I go. My wife is the more stable one. I think she's more like the easy train ride. I'm the roller coaster.

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi DorothyL,

Great post as always. I handle my relationship and when I'm riding a roller-coaster in the same way:

I only let my mind focus on something that is worth focusing on. I will let the small details (such as how my partner is always talking about herself or how high my roller-coaster is right now) to be passed through my brain without digesting it.

It works well for me actually.

Have a wonderful day!

By MelCole of PA said...

You got touching posts here, that's nice, glad to stop by...

Silvergirl said...

YAH, a relationship is like a roller coaster that sometimes your up and sometimes your down..
But in relationship the one who control is ourself.. no matter what will happen both should hold on each other..

very nice post :)

Cacai M. said...

For me, I enter the rides that my life challenges me with faith and preparation Ms D. As I was young, I wasn't knew if the going was to be tough or other way around. All what I did was to hold on to what I want to acquire and expect that there are challenges comes along with it. Yep, I was young then full of words of wisdom to which I know it is only my sword and whatever the challenges is to come I have to overcome or let go of it since I know such will come to me on time. And I got but it but yep full of struggles but life is like that---it won't always be good knowing that I had a lot of lack of in my life but I am proud I got what I wanted only the last part was so hurting to me that lead me about to depression because I let it go for the sake of what they wanted yet they don't understand the logic and ended up they're hurting me and I to myself a little---that was so hard yet I overcome it because I am here now, alive and kicking! :-) They must be thankful and considerate. Well, that's life after all it's a roller coaster one but I want it now a stable one, I don't want to be on the lower side neither on the upper part just above average or the least average or the normal one. Hey, oooh life family, that's family circle relationship and my life. And about special relationship? Just make it a two tango and compromise. Communication also is very important and sticking to what why we are in the relationship. Okay, it's a roller coaster one indeed yet holding on to the goal is what counts. Have a good day Ms. D! hugs and kisses... (~_~)

jenny lewis said...

I loved the analogy of love being like a roll coaster ride. That is so very true! Great post! Visit me if you have a chance :)

William K Wallace said...

Every ride should be like a rollercoaster....!

Dorothy said...

Great post, the comments are also very helpful. It's tough staying grounded and it never hurts to read and absorb other ideas.

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Yen said...

Indeed, there's ups and down, thrills and excitement,risk and nervous. Enter at your own risk as you've said. I can't explain myself why is that its still worth the ride despite risk.

Accurate Psychic Readings said...

That's an evolution of love, friend. Take the risk and claim the prize later on. :)