Monday, May 11, 2009

Drowning in a Pool of thoughts!


If your thoughts are constantly focused on the word, 'ME', then you are already on a downward spiral to a very lonely, depressed cycle of thinking, which I call... 'the drowning-pool of thoughts'.


Whether you are aware of it or not yet, you will wake up one day and spend every waking hour searching for answers to why you feel so depressed, lonely, rejected and full of negative feelings.

Who knows why some of us feel that the world should revolve around us. I have met many, many people that truly, and sincerely believe that they are the center of everyone's day.
I myself also can take claim to that feeling of importance. It may be because our parents have raised us to believe that or we may have interpreted it through experiences throughout our lives. Somewhere we were made to believe that it is all about, 'ME'.



Being faced with the harsh fact that our happiness not in any way shape or form anyone else's responsibility is one of the most crushing realities to understand and accept. It is up to us to make ourselves feel important to us.
We are solely in control over how we feel every second and it is amazing how many people continue to struggle and cannot understand that what they are searching for, is right in their own reflection and in their own mind of thought.
But if you are caught up in the drowning-pool of thoughts..you will be spending all of your energy just trying to stay above water. You cannot even see one foot in front of you to think clearly. It is a very lonely place to be.

Have you ever heard the song, "One is a lonely number"? Well it is a very lonely number.
When you feel like you are suppose to be the number one focus on everyone's thoughts or actions, and you find that you are not, it is a very lonely feeling. You are in fact the only one that is standing there feeling rejected and hurt when the other people have no idea whats going on inside of you.
They are merrily going through their rhythm of life without any idea that you are expecting to be their center of attention.

When you spend time dressing sexy for your partner and greet them at the door and they do not acknowledge you, your first thought is ...ME!!! You instantly feel that you have been rejected and ignored, that you went out of your way to please this person and it was totally unseen and unappreciated.
Careful of those self-indulged expectations ...they can turn on you in a heart beat!

Sorry...it is not always about you!.



Just maybe that person had a very bad day and was looking forward to a few minutes of space to collect their thoughts. Or maybe that other person seriously was thrown off guard and did not know what to say or do which embarrassed them.
Also that person could have been expecting you to see them as your center point and read their mind. You are not the only person that has fallen into the 'ME' habit!

Another good example is when someone doesn't answer you in the way that you expect, you feel totally emotionally discombobulated and your first defense is to wonder if that person is mad at you or if you said the wrong thing ect.
Better yet, you take what was said and you allow it to control your entire world because it was not what you wanted to hear.

It is not always about you!

It may just be that they had a bad day once again or that their preoccupied with something else at that very minute.
There really was no negative intention there at all.

If we are not thinking ..ME.. all of the time, then we would not get caught in that trap of confusion and feelings of rejection.

Learning to think away from the, 'ME' habit is not hard. It is yet another bad habit that controls our thoughts and only allows negative ones in. It does however take realization and a desire to really find a happier you!

You are probably thinking....Ok...so how exactly does one get to this point in their thinking where they do not immediately feel that they were a target of a personal
attack?"

What I am going to tell you is basically obvious and has been said many times. I can only hope that through my words and thoughts you will actually absorb it and apply it to YOUR LIFE!

**Stop thinking about how you are feeling right now and get into the habit of asking that other person how they feel or if they are comfortable with certain surroundings!

**Listen first, think second, replay what you just heard third and then respond through a positive filter!
Nothing is ever gained by responding negatively or selfishly to others.

**Do NOT play the blame game. Again it serves no good purpose to look for blame in how others think!

**Stop taking everything personally...remember that there are two or more people in this world and it may not be all about YOU!

**Accept that there are going to be those days when you are actually a target of someones bad day. Accepting that before hand will allow you to be prepared to get up and keep moving forward. Remember...dry dirt always falls off!

**Understand rejection...do not take it as a personal attack...everyone has a choice in life...you may just not be their choice! It is a matter of what each person feels is best for them...it is not just about YOU!

**If you feel that a certain conversation is going bad....instead of following it towards that direction, take control and steer it towards a more positive point of conversation!

** Learn breathing, it will help you to understand the movements of your thoughts. It will help you to automatically change your negative reactions to positive ones!

**Be aware of negative self-talk. You can easily fuel that fire if you are not careful of what you allow even yourself to stay stuck on!

**Learn the feeling of being stuck on an issue...take lead on those runaway thoughts. Again, listen, think, replay then react!

**If you feel that you cannot answer a question, do not feel that it is a test of your intelligence, simply say you do not have the answer. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are not perfect. It is not all about YOU!

**Every person on this earth has the same right to be here as you do. There is no one more special than another. There is only one person that you should depend on and that is YOU!

It is hard to accept the fact that we are not number one to others!
It is hard to be put in a position of feeling that we are and then losing it!
It is damn hard building up our self-esteem day in and day out, when there is always going to be something or someone that will challenge it with or without intentions.

Who ever said that life was going to be an easy, free ride?

When you can learn to stop whining and looking for things to put yourself down with, then you can finally get on with living a free and happy life.

We are not always going to have good hair days, but then we are not always going to have bad hair days either!

If we do not start to understand that our happiness and our self-esteem is our responsibility then we will never enjoy what life offers. We will sit there on a merry-go-round and watch everyone else laugh, live, and enjoy.
And guess what....they will do all of that without us. Who wants to drag around a dead weight, or invite a virus to a party?
Think about the type of person that you would like to spend time with....are you that type?

*****************************

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction. " -Brian Tracey


~D~


45 comments:

Shauni said...

Thank you for a wonderful blog.. I have spent the majority of my life living by these tenets. I have been happy and blessed. Then one day I forgot and life just got hard and miserable.

While I have been slowly pulling out of it this has helped me remember even more

melanie said...

Hmmm luckily I have not yet met such a person. But keep me thinking if there is such a person who "is drowning in his pool of personal thoughts"?... just like that phrase there :-)

Yulia said...

You make me remember theres nothing perfect in this world. Thank you.

Mommy Kennedy said...

Thank you for helping us all reflect on ourselves. We should all do it more often!

shengy said...

great topic indeed.. i forwarded this link to my friend... im sure she need this...the way I need it too..very inspiring..

ShedLife said...

i love this...my mentor is my buddy and You...you are a blessing

Viveca from FatigueBeGone said...

Oh so true!

One way I remind myself that it isn't all about me is with a saying I heard a long time ago.

"We would worry less about what people thought about us if we knew how seldom they did!"

Today is another great day to keep the focus off on me and walk hand in hand with spirit.

Cheers!

Viveca

Pixel said...

Nice posting friend, I like it. Thanks n keep posting.

""rare*jonRez"" said...

very nice post! i must say this is worth reading as this denotes a self-reality check to everyone. thank you for such great thought!

great Tuesday to you!!!

joe-ann said...

Great post,very true indeed.Happiness really comes when shared.Wonderful and reflective.=)

Dhemz said...

very wonderful entry...it makes sense..and I am inspired...thanks for sharing D!

lusalary said...

nice post dorothy!

askcherlock said...

It is a better life when it's not about me. Sometimes when things seem to be at a real low point, that's when I find it best to reach out to family and friends and do something for them. Somehow my problems are suddenly smaller and my perspective is a whole lot healthier. Thanks for the reminder in this wonderful post.

nipsy said...

I admit it, I do have those "me" thoughts at times. It's hard to remember maybe others are having the same thoughts as well.

donna novita said...

... be what u are,
but don't be selfish ...

Very touching post Dorothy L.

Sera Melinda said...

Yup, that's right, it can't be always about ME. But it's difficult, right? I've been trying many times to be aware of that.

This post is inspiring :) Thanks.

KAT said...

Now if we can all remember these points, we would all be better off!!

Thanks again, for your wonderful insight and for your compassion!!

Take care,
Kat

schizoshrink said...

nice blog.. bt sometimes you have to think of yourself first.. you keep on thinking about others that you forget your sense of worth.. sometimes it pays off to think about yourself, as you deserve it. =) have a great day!

EntrePod - Mama ASID said...

D, Deep Thoughts Girlfriend.
Deeeeeppp ;)

Gossip said...

ur blog is nice and have good info..keep it friend! and success for you..

The Fitness Diva said...

Great, insightful post! In fact, I will have to come back and read it again!
I fall into these traps every now and then. It really is a positive to take the focus off oneself and realize that you're really only part of a bigger picture. ;)

jefky said...

what a good article...God blessed you

Mizé said...

It´s not easy to escape our ME thinking traps. People are all so concerned about theirselves this days...
That´s why Depression was considered by Health Organization the diesease of XXI century.
I think you covered most cognitive (and other) strategies to fight Depression, projection and negative thinking.
A great and useful post that I enjoyed reading very much. Thanks for sharing :):)

BRENT KRUEGER said...

“There is only one success... To be able to spend your life in your own way.”
~~ Christopher MorleyYours is a nice blog.

moongoddesslae said...

I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN HERE..THIS BLOGSITE IS MY HOME!

Apih Yayan said...

You make me remember theres nothing perfect in this world. Thank very much.. from indonesia

Veronica Lee said...

Such deep thoughts. Thanks for this great post.

Ana said...

I find that these thoughts that drive us to focus on the 'me' indentity are calling us to the roots of our being. These are signs, and if you feel yourself falling into that cycle and know what its about, you can stop it from happening. Interestingly enough I have experienced this for the first time this month, and it has taken me to an extreme place. One which I feel I have purposedly carved as the layer of distraction. This distraction, is the layer of trying to live in the social world. To understand this, has taken a week of physical sickness to acknowledge the brewing of the layer. To unite again with all, is the real presence of being. This gives a real light on separation and ego, which are associative determinants of identity. I think the beauty of all there is in experience of the self, is to take a step back figure out where it is all coming from, and at the same time acknowledge that this moment is happening. It's about being in the moment, and ackowledging yourself in it. (Whatever/whoever yourself may be) This is the amazing thing about everyone. Lovely to be here. :) Beautiful day to you.

Jade Meng said...

Great post. Life surely isn't an easy free ride, but we can make all the pain and dirt into use.

Lyla said...

great article... human no body perfect. thank you for the article

Ju Ann said...

Wow, wonderful post. very inspiring!

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Angelica said...

Lord knows I needed this advice. I think it was truly embedded within me to be self-centered because I find myself saying my mom is often. I realized that it was transcribed onto me now. =/ I need to work on this and I will. Have you got any advice on patience? I will be looking next! Lol :)

earthtoholly said...

Loved this post... I find it's so difficult dealing with a 'me' person other than myself, especially when it's a close family member. I'm just starting to work on this...argh!

Clarissa said...

There are times that life to us has been cruel but when I changed my perspective in life,my life turned out happy and blessed.

Thanks for posting,D!It's very inspiring!^_^

dmathholic said...

nice post....

maxiVelasco said...

this is so true dorothy. one is a lonely number! but there are really those days when i want to be alone. but of course that wasn't your point.

anyway, another point i really like is when you mentioned that it's not always about me. i really have to put that in mine.

thanks for the lovely post!

maxi of www.healthnbeyond.com and www.ovahcoffee.com

Poem said...

Good posting please keep up :P

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Leomar said...

Great insights! I also know people who are self-centered and they are really hard to deal with.

BTW, thank you for leaving a comment in my blog. I can not recall leaving a message in your shoutbox but it's a good thing that you found my blog. Cheers!

Ailurophile said...

You are so right. The world will be a better place if everybody cared about other than themselves. Insightful post, and nice blog :)

julian said...

A post with a full common sense,i agree with you.Btw very nice blog,greetings from spain

genial said...

i totally agree with you...
the selfish is nothing :)

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