Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Does your weight determine your Self-esteem?

Confidence and self-esteem. Is it because women are not of the ideal weight or is it truly a mind set? I cannot seem to write enough about self-esteem.
Women that can see themselves from the inside out are the ones that exude a certain amount of confidence that money or plastic surgery can never buy.
Women that only see themselves from the outside in will never reach that true confidence. They will continue to buy into what the market is selling as the latest fountain of youth and beauty!
Another example of true confidence is found in our children. Uninhibited and unaware of their confidence, they go through their day not worrying about how they look in their clothes or if their hair is acceptable. They do not look outside of themselves for any type of false confidence.

If only more women would have the strength to think and realize that their self-esteem is not all about their outer skin. But for some strange reason they choose to allow society to get under their skin and taunt them with the ideals of the perfect type of women.
If I have recognized one thing in amongst women, it is that confidence, self-esteem or self-worth know no body shape or size. A womens body weight does not determine her true self.
Nor are all thin, pretty women cynical and shallow. Unfortunately there are cynical women in every shape and form. I have heard women that were overweight tear other women apart with no mercy. They did this out of either pure envy and or jealousy, no other reason. No matter what our weight, we are all up against the wall of ridicule and criticism at some time in our lives.
My X-husbands family, were of the old foreign country and constantly made me feel less-than acceptable for being thin. They continually made remarks that I was too thin to breast feed my babies. If my child cried, it was instantly due to my weight and how I was starving my child. At that time I was too young to even think of fighting back.
I would also like to add that cruelty and vanity is amongst every size.

We need to focus on our own inner peace and love for ourselves. It is, after all our spirit that never grows old, just our bodies. We must learn to realize and accept this. Also never forget that a pretty picture is just that, and nothing more.
Many women feel that they have to do things to make others accept them. I am sure we have all fallen into that trap more than once in our lives in some regards. How many of you have bowed down to another's idealism to find that you were still not acceptable. It truly goes to show you that you really should only please one person, that being you. We cannot please all of the people all of the time. I was told that once and I heeded that warning for many years.
How will you know how to please your loved ones the right way, if you do not learn how to please yourself first? Your self-esteem is only low because you have allowed yourself to worry about pleasing others. When it does not please them, you feel weakened inside and very inadequate, which in turn scars you deep inside. Then and only then do you begin to learn a very important lesson.
This lesson being to:
Hug yourself
Love yourself
Please yourself
Better yourself
Smile at yourself
Care for yourself
Take pride in yourself
How many times are you going to let someone put you down and tear you apart before you stand up and state your rights; your rights as a human being, your rights as a UNIQUE woman. You are you! Be proud of who you are. Walk with confidence. Show your confidence and never allow anyone to put you down because of how you look.
Remember also on this same note: be careful to not be the person criticizing another for how much a person weighs, too much or too little in your opinion. This is a very negative thought process, one you do not want to fall into. This negative thought process will only strengthen your low self-esteem and make you feel very low in self-worth.

We spend too much time investing our feelings into people that only take them at face value.
We spend too much time worrying about what he or she may think about us.
We spend too much time comparing ourselves.
We spend too much time not putting positive ideas into play.
We spend way too much time worrying about things we cannot change or control.

We must stop wasting so much of our limited time on nonsensical issues.
Sometimes I wish I could speak every language there is known to man. Maybe then I can penetrate every woman's mind with positive thoughts. But would that work? Does anyone actually read my thoughts and hear them? Am I writing all of this just to fill a page? Do you think I am making all of this up for my own benefit?
Well I am not doing this for any other reasons except to share my own experiences and research on how women can rebuild a lost self-esteem, or simply strengthen their weak self-esteem. I know only too well how lonely that negative world can be, not to mention how very hard it is to find that light at the end of the tunnel, never mind actually reach it.
Being human is certainly a challenge of errors, but we are here and we must make us, the best person we can. Your weight does not determine who you are. It does however determine your health, in saying that...if your weight is going to concern you in any way....let it be for reasons of health and do something about it. When we feel healthy, we feel good about everything inside and out! 'If you can't change your weight to meet your ideal height, then perhaps you can change your idea image to meet your weight.' Please yourself and then you will glow with high self-esteem.
There is no other better feeling than feeling good about you!
-Dorothy
Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else"
-Judy Garland

~D~



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