Our minds use anger as a memory of a hurt that we have experienced. The memory is usually due to the fact that we neglected to express our hurt at the time for one reason or another. We tend to not show our anger or hurt because we do not want to cause a conflict or hurt another's feelings or ever admit those feelings.
We also hang onto it because once we actually show we are angered, we are showing we are not perfect and that in fact we are human and can feel pain. But if we continue to push away our feelings to protect our perfect selves, we become less real and less connected to people in our lives, without even realizing how far we are pushing them away.
Protecting another person from our hurts or anger is only imprisoning ourselves, so that they will never be able to reach us. If we do this long enough we cannot find happiness anywhere. When we are questioned why we are upset, we can not even find the beginning to the hurt we have hidden. The longer we hide our hurts and anger the more confusing they become. Things get all tangled up and if we dare try to explain, we are totally speaking another language.
Have you ever been hurt by someone and then they make it impossible for you to explain why you are angered? Those people can do a lot of damage, they are controllers. When you can identify that type of person, only then can you fight back and tell them, "please just shut up and listen". If you want to be unhappy then keep hanging onto that hurt. It will definitely drag your self-esteem down to the bottom.
Hurt is a pain of the moment and it is happening right now. Its reason is right there in front of you. You must deal with it or you will only hide it and end up alone in your prison of loneliness. The longer you hold back, the more angry you become with you, for not acting out. That's when guilt moves right on in and takes over, making you want to get even with that person. Your negative thoughts are seeded now and nothing feels good. Is this a good thing? NOT!!!
It is definitely not easy to risk being called oversensitive, told that you are just causing a fight, or they just laugh you off like you are a child. You may even find that this person does not really care about you. Better to find that out asap, don`t you think?
These FEELINGS of hurt and anger have a way of taking over our lives. Is it not better to let it out now rather than to live in an unhappy life of silence? Tell someone how you feel, when you feel it, or you will only lock those FEELINGS up inside you and trust me, you will lose yourself.
You may even hurt the one you love, but honesty is the best way. I believe that with a true love you should be able to tell that person anything and yes even if you feel hurt or angered by them. Love conquers anger and hurt. It battles jealousy and helps lift you to a higher self-esteem!
To be truly happy and not endure the prisons of negative emotions, we need to be heard. We need to be understood. We need to be forgiven. We also need to be loved and cared for. We need to set our selves free!
And my sweet readers, on that note, I will leave you with another tip to strengthen your courage which will help you to keep climbing that mountain to a better you!
And most importantly, you have a choice!