Monday, August 25, 2008

Betrayed by Society

Betrayed by Society

What is betrayal to you?

Is it hurt, deception, disappointment, anger, loss of trust, feelings of being broken, defiled, humiliated, neglected, loss of self-esteem, or a feeling of death? Betrayal has a way of stealing your smiles and laughter. It has a way of turning your love into pure hate. You will probably remember reading these very words from my first article on betrayal. Well this description seemed fitting for this article, "Betrayed by Society" as well.

This is a very touchy subject. Some things that you will read in my article may trigger your mind to question your own relationship and the society around you. This is your own choice. I write my articles to release my own thoughts on certain matters, nothing more, nothing less. In this article I will be using the word “Betrayal” in many forms. You will understand this as you read on.

I feel that being betrayed by society is a large problem in our world today. How can it not be? We have pornography at a touch of our fingers. We cannot even log onto our computers without sex trying to sell to you something in one form or other. This is a huge stepping stone leading towards the betrayal in so many relationships today. It is even so delusional that women are persuaded in believing that they will get all the positive attention they need by showing their bodies to strangers. Yes, many are doing it for the money, but many are also doing it just for the attention. They do this in hopes that they will feel better about themselves. They will degrade themselves for that moment of cheap monetary acceptance, charging nothing for revealing their most private selves. Tell me, where do you see the betrayal? Television has managed to cheapen sexual encounters to nothing more than what I once heard described as a mere hand shake. There is no love related sex as far as the marketing world is concerned. This is a very sad equation that has lead to women feeling betrayed by society. This again is a huge threat against a committed relationship. Even with all the education in regards to the fear of aids, which is a torturous disease, promiscuity is at its highest levels, again another betrayal.

People now have even less care and concern in regards to their partner’s feelings. Oh sure they say they care, but their actions and reactions tend to show otherwise. Just take a look at how many couples you know right now that have already been married more than once, or more. There are very few long term commitments these days. Why is that? Who told us that marriage vows are not important anymore? Who lead us to that betrayal? Why do couples call it quits because maybe their partner does not want sex as often as they use to, or is so exhausted after a day spent being a mother, housemaid and in many cases a career woman? Who lead us to that betrayal? Or maybe your partner does not want to dress like a stripper. Why then is she made to feel wrong? Yet another betrayal in creating delusions as to what sexy really is. How many times have you felt wrong because you felt that you were holding your partner back from certain ideas that he has expressed to you as being the all important thing in his desires? Do you see the betrayal here? Society has done this, to men and women.

Some people are very skilled in the art of quiet betrayal. They know exactly how to turn a situation to benefit them, making you fall and feel like you are in the wrong. Way too many relationships are controlled by either side having this ability. Relationships can be manipulated to serve one side, the side always being the one that shows an outward kindness and naiveness. I call it a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Only the person being tormented by this very well schooled betrayer knows that side of this person, so many never even become aware that they are victims to a betrayal.

We are dealing with a wide open world where nudity and promiscuity is a very real concern. Couples are challenged every day in the area of commitment. What one might consider a mere look, another will take to heart and see it as a deception. One’s idea of a negative environment may be a total opposite of another’s. How one person thinks nothing of being in an environment that could very well be threatening or cause a moment of weakness, others will look at it as walking into a pit of lions, feeling betrayed by society. Men are forced to look at women that are strategically placed in view and cannot be missed every day. In our very real world, sex sells and it is shoved in our faces left, right and center. Some men look at it as a quiet bonus. It is justified by the fact that it is not in their control what is put out in front of them. But they do have a choice, don't they? They can choose to ignore it or they can chooser to enjoy it! They say that no matter what they look at or may happen to see, it has nothing to do with how they feel about their partner. So I ask this, if a partner decides to step outside of the sexual commitment, does that mean they can justify it by saying it had nothing to do with their partner and does not change their feelings in any way? My answer is No Way! They have made a choice at that point, a choice of betrayal. This is a very tricky justification in any form. You can see how easy one can feel betrayed by another.

In a relationship, betrayals are one of the worst attacks, because we as partners put ourselves in a highly unarmed state through our trust and love for the other person. We as a couple must communicate more openly so that we have an equal understanding of what the other believes and feels about certain issues. You must both come to some agreements on what is acceptable for you both. There are always a few Grey areas, but there are a lot of black and white issues. Do not accept things that you cannot live with. Some things are just wrong and you have the right to say so. For an example, If he is looking at pornography on the Internet and it hurts your feelings, you have the right to say "stop" and you also have the right to leave him if he does not stop. Don’t even try to change the things that cannot be changed, but do change what you can. Situations can be made or avoided and relationships can change. End them if you have to. Society will betray you if you are not armed as a couple. You must actually fight to stay together, because society will fight to split you apart.

The following are TRUE to all love relationships, regardless of society:
It is not alright to take another partner for even one sexual encounter.
It is also not alright to knowingly twist things around to best suit ones self, especially when the fact of hurt is going to be obvious.
It is not alright to use a partner’s trust and love in order to betray them.
It is certainly not alright to try to change your partner to fit a mold that you desire.
It is not alright to humiliate or put your partner down in public.
It is not alright to make your partner feel unworthy because of their inner feelings or thoughts on certain issues.
It is not alright to treat your partner with even the smallest amount of disrespect.
It is not alright to use your partner’s most private thoughts as a weapon in battle.
It is not alright to control or hover over your partner to the point that they feel a need to escape.
It is not alright to take and not give back in the love department.
It is not alright to think that your partner can read your mind.
It is not alright to mistrust your partner without due cause.
It is not alright to deliberately go out of your way to give payback, so to speak.

It is a matter of each partners individual choices.

All of these are a definite hind site, one that every couple should follow to the T. In order to avoid being betrayed by society, you must be open and honest with your partner. Love your partner like you will never love another. To give love is to receive love.

Betrayal does not have to happen in a relationship if both partners are honest and open about their likes and dislikes at the beginning. It is those that hide or wear a false hat that fall into the traps of betrayal and victimization down the road.

Betrayal is a very ugly word as it is in its action and results. Avoid it at all costs, it is never worth it. Now go and hug your partner and never, ever use the art of betrayal to gain anything.

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"I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
- Angeleaknewin


DorothyL @womensselfesteem.com



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